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How to get my 7 year olds (8 end of aug) to entertain themselves

(16 Posts)
anniebear Tue 26-May-09 09:07:30

One has Special Needs so I know she cannot sit for long doing her own thing

But the other one, unless she is on the pc, DS or watching tv she doesnt know what to do with herself

We have endless crafts, hama beads etc etc and she has things to play with

She has never been a huge doll player, only around ages 3/4 did she sit for ages with fashions pollys

she is a bright child and I realise she doesnt have her twin sister to play the game she would like to play, she does like company

we do invite friends for tea but cant have them round daily

I am stressed out as it is, have been tthrough a lot in the last 7 years and it doesnt help when I seem to have the 2 of them constantly glued to me not knowing what to do... I seem to constantly get hurt as they are too big to be lounging all over me especially as they then start messing
I realise some of it will be my fault as I am a bit lazy and very tired (One DD wakes very very early, hasnt slept through since she was very ill as a baby)

But I do take them to lots of places and they get taken out more then many children do

Its just in the house ..

Help!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks

anniebear Tue 26-May-09 09:10:33

they have just gone upstairs to play....how long will it last....

they are down already...lasted 2 mins

paranoid2 Tue 26-May-09 11:12:20

Not sure if I have any advice but I know how you feel. I have DTB’s who are nearly 8 also, one of whom had ADD and dyspraxic traits and who is less willing to join in games instigated by DT1. He joins in at the beginning and then Dt1 has to control everything and tries to force Dt2 to be the “baddie” all the time and Dt2 quickly loses interest. When they play things like “chasies” or races Dt2 because of his motor issues never wins and again loses interest.

I find that having friends around helps Dt1 but selfishly I find that stressful too as I worry about Dt2 being left out of things and am always comparing him to other children. DT1 is now at the stage that he really loves being with his friends whereas DT2 is not as bothered although he enjoys it too. I am trying to arrange for them to be split up for a while , ie have a friend for Dt2 around while Dt1 goes to a different friends house/party. I am also planning to cut down on the amount of Ds and TV time especially over the summer. Recently we have also been splitting them up when doing some family activities. Sometimes DH takes one of them for a cycle and I take the other one for a swim/walk. They seem to enjoy having 1 to 1 time with one of us as when we are all out together there is a fight to speak. However if you are always exhausted I know how hard it is to even think about planning things not to mind actually doing them.

Barmymummy Tue 26-May-09 18:04:29

Yes I totally sympathise too.

DD is 6 and is a very imaginitive little girl, endless playing ideas etc but tends to be bossy. DS who is 4 next week has some autitic traits and one of them is a lack of imaginitive play and copies alot. This is fine for some games but she gets frustrated when he can't play as she wants him to and this ends up in tears or an argument. Am so fed up with playing referee all the time.

I dread them being together as they repel each other most of the time. Only time they get on like a house on fire is when they are up to no good or getting very wet/dirty hmm

On their own they are wonderful, no trouble at all. Get them together and its chaos. I so envy people whose kids entertain each other for hours on end envy

anniebear Tue 26-May-09 20:33:35

not nice for you but...Im glad Im not the only one!!!!

we do do things with them seperatly but obviously school hols when DH at work I cant

Im not expecting them to play all day, but surely at their age they should be able to entertain themselves without a DS or PC!!

thanks for replying

Wallace Tue 26-May-09 20:48:09

Do you have a garden? My dd spends alot of time making "potions" outside with petals and stuff.

Yurtgirl Tue 26-May-09 20:56:00

Is she interested in anything?

Ds is happily entertained for hours if he has got a 'project' going on - currently maps
But if he isnt focused he flits around for ages "Im bored"

We have heaps of books and make weekly trips to the library to top up - if in doubt about what to do - look at a book! Currently Oceans and The Olympics

Wallace Tue 26-May-09 21:22:28

See, find boys are easier. They tend to (IMVLE) be very focussed on the one thing they are "into".

Mostly dd likes to play with friends (we are lucky to live close by to some of her friends).

anniebear Tue 26-May-09 21:24:07

she does like to read but mainly in bed at night or in the morning

maybe I need to make more of an effort

Wallace Tue 26-May-09 21:27:23

Do they have any pets? Dd spends ages evey day playing with her hamster

anniebear Tue 26-May-09 21:44:21

2 rabbits but they dont like being handled so its me and DH that looks after them!!

plus 2 fish but they are not very playful lol loll lol

anniebear Tue 26-May-09 21:51:17

there are kids out in the street aged from 5 upwards

no way are they going out!!

one child last eyar when 4 got knocked over, they just run out into the road, go down byt the main road and are also out till 10ish

suppose their parents get lots of peace though!!!

catkinq Wed 27-May-09 00:27:48

I stick mine (6 and 8) in the bath with a load of bath toys. They will play for an hour or so just needing teh water reheated now adn again.

anniebear Wed 27-May-09 14:42:50

lol that sounds like a good one....except mine would completely flood the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!

mrshibbins Thu 28-May-09 22:25:45

I have an SD aged nearly 8 who is the same - seemingly cannot or will not play on her own, always hanging around saying 'i'm bored' and 'but what can i do now?' even when she has a playdate over. She has a den full of toys and craft stuff but won't connect with any of it unless you not only do it with her, but do it FOR her while she lolls on your lap like a toddler... very poor imaginative play skills - when i was her age i used to invent endless games in the garden with as little as a few pebbles and sticks ... and i have to say I am starting to worry a bit. The only thing that will keep her quiet is if you give her a mirror - she can stare into one of those for ages ...

mrshibbins Fri 24-Jul-09 20:08:59

OMG - we had a power outage today as the electricity board were upgrading our power lines. off at 8.30 this morning, didn't get turned on again until gone 4pm.

OMG the DRAMA of SD, without TV or DVD and having to think of something to do to actually entertain herself...

i am luckily working from home BUT HAVE to be at my desk doing the work and taking calls and I'm really busy at the moment ...

so having been briefed that i was really busy and that she could get on with playing with all the birthday gifts she had last week, she then pestered me for lunch from 11am; then continually stood next to me at my desk, making her eyes fill with tears, but refusing to speak or say what the matter was; then tried the same thing but making herself tremble and shake; then pretended to faint in front of my window, then lay down in the garden in the pouring rain pretending to be unconscious, then threw an absolutely huge hissy when i ignored it all; then paraded in front of my office window doing loud put on crying ...

when her dad came home, she put on this little squeaky cute sacharine voice and tried the same thing with him - "dadda, dadda, look i've gone all shakey ... pick me up dadda" (only he's such a sucker he goes along with it). she's gone up to bed now, thank christ, and tomorrow has a day at her grand dads ...

her continual attention seeking is driving me totally nuts ... what are you suppposed to do? she gets loads of attention, and good attention too (eg reading at bedtime, doing homework together, cooking, going on walks, shopping, doing girly things) but it's never enough..

oh the awful tyranny and selfishness and drama of 8 year old girls....

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