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List of things to try and get fixed with Flameboy before October... any helpful suggestions?

(17 Posts)
Flamesparrow Tue 19-May-09 12:48:47

It is a bit of an aibu by stealth as I am just posting the main points - will fill in on what we have tried when I get back from preschool run "I don't wanna go preschool... <wail> <sob>"

1) Stay in own room all night
2) Sleep through the night
3) Stop all bottles in any shape or form
4) Listen to a bloody word I say
5) Stop using buggy unless absolutely necessary


suwoo Tue 19-May-09 12:53:46

How old is flameboy now? I am working through 1, 2 and 3 with velcro boy who is 29 months. I only have 10 weeks left though. shit


seeker Tue 19-May-09 13:03:17


Unless there are really really good reasons, forget about the bottles and the buggy thing. These are things that just happen as part of development. The occasional bottle and trip in the buggy won't do him any harm.

In my opinion, 1 aand 2 just happen too and there's very little you can do to hurry them up (others will disagree)

I would concentrate on 4. But we need lots more info!

Flamesparrow Tue 19-May-09 13:27:46

Right, am back from preschool run from hell. He loves it when he is there, but hates the idea of going.

10 mins fighting kicking and screaming to get into the car seat (my bump hurts lots now ), screamed the entire journey and was still sobbing his heart out (had to carry him in) when I handed him over.

Pissed off and upset at the same time

Ok. He is now 3.

3 - I am worrying about his teeth. How much do bottles wreck the teeth? if the damage is the same as sweets etc (which he doesn't have), I am prepared to go with it as being what he would have had if he had sweets iyswim.

5 - Concerned about the baby and the buggy etc, although to be fair I am a dedicated sling user anyway, so the days he doesn't wanna walk/I cant be arsed to make him a sling is fine.

1 & 2 - I want to believe you that they will happen, but I am so tired. Being woken every night with a small child climbing in the bed and then kicking me in the back is hell, and I am worried about what will happen with a newborn breastfeeding etc.

4 - the big one. He is a shit. I know it isn't the done thing to refer to a child as such, but he is. I say no, he carries on hmm. Naughty step doesn't work for him. Holding him on my lap works for the immediate problem (atm we are having to work out new positions!), but long term, he will just go back and do it again an hour/day/week later. Stickers etc - he is still very "young" in many ways and doesn't get the concept of bribery/rewards, so again, not effective on him

I am at the supernanny type stage. I am rapidly turning into the mother who lets him get away with murder because I am too drained to deal with it.

Plus I am not coping with pregnancy - have hyperemesis and antenatal depression so everything just seems to be HUGE when it could just be a normal problem in reality.

(at time of replying suwoo and seeker had replied btw, so apologies for x posts)

Flamesparrow Tue 19-May-09 15:48:32

So he sobbed for "quite a while" apparently blush

Flamesparrow Wed 20-May-09 16:34:26


girlywhirly Thu 21-May-09 13:31:56

I think he's a bit frightened at the moment. He must feel that lots of things are out of his control, mummy feeling sad, sick and exhausted, and being 'made' in his view to do things he doesn't want to. Is he actually not wanting to go to preschool because something might happen to you while he's away from you? And might he be clinging to more babyish things like bottle and buggy as a sort of comfort?

1) you could go through a few nights of hell putting him back in his own bed each time he gets into yours, and hope it will get better in time. Or as a short term measure, would he sleep on a cot mattress/camp bed next to your bed instead of in it? Still near you, but not kicking your back!

2) depends why he wakes, is it because he needs to check you're still there/ok, or does he want to start playing. As you take him back to bed reassure that you will see him when it is time to get up.

3) swap baby bottles for childrens sport style drink bottles, less likely to be used for comfort sucking, just drinking. Work best if he can choose his own.

4) pick the brains of the preschool staff for suggestions of discipline methods that don't require you to run/do anything physical.

5) let him use the buggy for now, he'll only regress when the baby comes.

Sorry can't be more helpful.

Flamesparrow Sat 30-May-09 19:46:15

Lost this thread.

Thank you Girlywhirly. After doing some thinking, I think the night waking may be a blood sugar/hunger thing. The nights we give in and give him a bottle at bedtime are the nights he sleeps through, so I think a "supper" type thing of something slow release could help?

Will talk to preschool staff too, they don't seem to take any sh*t from him (or he is an angel for them hmm)

He is def frightened of not being a baby any more. He actually told me a while back that he didn't want to be "biggy" he just wants to be Emis (what he calls himself). DD is very detached from us, and was younger when I got pregnant with him, so I haven't really gone through it with a child who is old enough to understand some things, but not everything iyswim.

hannahsaunt Sat 30-May-09 19:52:54

Ds2 was 4 when I was pg with ds3. He came into my side of the bed most nights. The very last night (until the last 6 week or so and he's now 6.5) he came in was the night before ds3 was born ... I think these wee ones are wise beyond their years. It'll be fine. (And I wouldn't worry about the buggy at all).

Flamesparrow Sun 31-May-09 17:48:56

Ooh I like the sound of intuitive children Psycho says that hers stopped just before the birth too, but then she went on to explain that they had been in and out of hospital so the whole routine had gone to hell anyway....

deaconblue Sun 31-May-09 19:57:30

my ds is 3 too and we are still working on 4 and 5. He can't be trusted not to do a runner so we still use the double buggy quite a bit and never ever listens to a bloody word I say (unless it's something like "would you like a biscuit?" and then he hears remarkably well).
I'm guessing new baby due in Oct? My advice is don't bother because even if you get it all fixed he will be a pita when the new baby arrives anyway (I speak from bitter experience)
btw I bet your ds is potty trained and eats like a sensible human being and tends not to whack other chidlren (these are my numbers 1,2 and 3 that need fixing) ;)

Flamesparrow Mon 01-Jun-09 17:38:59

Your #1 was oddly easy for us, DD was a nightmare though - would wee fine, but poo she would run round screaming holding her bum until she had a nappy on. Lasted 12 months until the day DS was born when she announced she needed a poo, sat on the potty and has never looked back hmm

#2 - hit n miss really. Used to have complete control of cutlery, but now prefers the method of shoving face in food and eating like a dog (wrote "god" first time )

#3 - hits his sister and one kid at playgroup No advice there either

<vows never to run a parenting class!>

mistlethrush Mon 01-Jun-09 17:59:54

Flame - one of ds's 'favourite' puddings is yoghurt with something - often it can be oats. Thinking about it, the oats are ideal as they are a slow release aren't they.... Would your ds like something similar?

Unicornvomit Mon 01-Jun-09 18:04:16

why is going in the buggy an issue? he is 3, i don;t see it as an issue, especially if it makes life easier

with DD we got rid of the bottles with the bottle fairy.. who left a lovely gift , but if he does not understand rewards/bribery etc, that might not work

he might just need a bit more time to get his head round things

consistency is always he;pful

Flamesparrow Mon 01-Jun-09 18:08:25

Ooh the yoghurt thing could be good.

The buggy thing is an issue because I really don't want to get into double buggy territory, I am a lover babies flat in prams or in a sling.

deaconblue Mon 01-Jun-09 19:35:39

have you seen the gadget thing that clips onto the side of a baby's pram and swings out to become a toddler seat? could be solution to buggy ishooooo

fruitcorner Mon 01-Jun-09 21:02:45

re the buggy issue, why not take him to choose a scooter or a wooden balance bike to buy to encourage him not to use the buggy as much and as a back-up you could buy a buggy board for when he gets tired?
Bottles - how many does he have a day? I would have thought that 2 a day with milk in and not coca cola is fine particularly if you brush his teeth
Can your DP help with the bedtime waking and help put him back into his bed and perhaps comfort him there?
HTH and good luck in October

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