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urgent, advise please, think something is very wrong with ds!

(28 Posts)
sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 22:13:53

My arms are aching from holding him down. My 20 month year odl son has had one hell of what I can only describe as a tantrum. I'm so worried about him & so is dh. He was waiting for his last feed before bed & moaning a bit so I went into his room to reassure him. He started to cry so I picked him up but the more I cuddled & sang to him, the harder he screamed & writhed. I got the hint & put him gently down. He grabbed his pacci & reached for his blanket, which he put over his head. My ds has a temper, I know, but this kind of behavior terrifies me & I wonder if he hates me or if there's something wrong with him. Paed says not, just "strong willed" but now I am truly frightened. Please help me.

lou33 Tue 26-Apr-05 22:16:41

sounds like he could have been overtired and started his terrible 2's early maybe? What's he doing now?

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 22:21:34

He's still crying off & on. Dh has stormed off to bed, cross with me for being on MN (I am ill & should be in bed) & no doubt worried about ds. This is not the first time he's shown us this type of behavior but it's never been this bad. My heart feels like its breaking. I'm crying, he's crying...

lou33 Tue 26-Apr-05 22:25:16

i'm ill too

It's really hard when you see your little ones out of control isn't it? Really sounds like he is overtired and found it hard to express, mine do that sometimes still. They still occasionally nod off sobbing, but i think it's worse for us, your ds will most likely have completely forgotten about it by the morning.

Try not to get too upset and worried.

Frizbe Tue 26-Apr-05 22:25:49

Could it be he's on the grow? or suffering with his last teeth? just wondering as dd is nearly 18mths, and when she has a big grow, boy do I know about it, screams n whimpers galore....argh! (4 more teeth to go, 4 more teeth to goooo...)

tiddlypom Tue 26-Apr-05 22:26:24

He doesn't hate you, honestly. I would guess he finds having tantrums scary, and he actually needs to feel that you're in control and not scared by his tantrums if you see what I mean.

When dd did this I sometimes had to get dh to take over because he found it easier to be calm and in control.


tiddlypom Tue 26-Apr-05 22:29:15

Also if you're ill yourself, you really can't be in control.

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 22:29:40

Maybe I'm being dense but we are moving in 2 days & the house is full of boxes. Ds is being shuttled off to the childminder every day now instead of just 2-3 times a week. I guess this must have something to do with it...

He isn't even walking yet! He simply refuses, although he climbs over all the furniture & crawls faster than a cockroach...

lou33 Tue 26-Apr-05 22:30:27

and if you are ill his behaviour will affect you more

moondog Tue 26-Apr-05 22:30:28

I think it's pretty normal, sansouci, for kids of this age to completely lose it on occasion. Exercising independence and all that.
Remember a terrifying scene once with our dd at roughly the same age. Dream setting, lovely hotel in Sri Lanka on New Year's Eve and she went crackers!! We had to drag her to the room (at about 8:00 pm) and basically just sit and gaurd the door to the hall and the balcony while she threw herself about for about 2 hours. Dh was horrified, but as I had experienced similar in the past when he was away, I was confident that it was just one of those things.
All fine the next morning, as it will be with your family.

PS Imagine how we felt, lying in bed at 9:30,listening to everyone else having a wild time on the beach under the stars. Grrrrrr!!!!

Sleep on it.

jane313 Tue 26-Apr-05 22:30:36

My 22 month old son does this when he wakes up from naps sometimes. He won't be comforted or distracted. I've sort of started to leave him to get out of it, or put him in his high chair (as its usually before lunch or tea) and wait till he calms down. It is horrible though

moondog Tue 26-Apr-05 22:31:23

Oh the move will definitely be freaking him out!!

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 22:32:08

The weird thing is I tried to be very calm & gentle with him! I held him firmly but not tightly, I sang a lullaby to him softly & rocked him but he became angrier & angrier! I feel totally rejected and absolute crap as a mother. Dd never did this, although she had her terrible two moments, certainly.

haven Tue 26-Apr-05 22:34:15

see if he continues this behavior...a friend of mine can no longer bring her 2 year old anywhere out of fear that he will have a tantrum...fortunately (so far) ds only has minor tantrums...

if the tantrums become to much for you to handle..then talk to the ped...but, remember most of the time..the more attention they get the more they tend to do...Don't let him hurt himself though...Good Luck [smil]

moondog Tue 26-Apr-05 22:34:54

JUst retreat and let him be angry. They've all got different ways of dealing with stuff. When my dd is very cross, similar things make her even more furious,so now i just leave her to get on with it, and don't comment.

tiddlypom Tue 26-Apr-05 22:36:19

Both my two were big tantrummers, as I was - and look how I've turned out DD still has tantrums but ds grew out of it and is a delight. We're all very sensitive souls though and moving house would have set us off.

lou33 Tue 26-Apr-05 22:37:00

my girls and my boys are completely diff in the way they have their tantrums

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 22:44:57

I knew posting on here would bring me enough encouragement & sound advice so that I can sleep tonight. Thank you, all. I feel quite reassured. Ds still shrieking from time to time but will let him be. He is certainly overtired & must be picking up on the stress of moving. Dh & I are terribly sad about the move because although our new home is much bigger than our current one, we like it better where we are. It's just too small for a family of 4. so ds must be picking up on this. At least we have the chance of moving to a bigger place so I will be grateful for that. (Ds now screaming! Would Bach remedy be helpful?)

Gobbledigook Tue 26-Apr-05 22:47:21

sansouci - not read the other posts but try not to worry - I feel the same about my ds2 sometimes (he's 2) as he's such a strange character at times - throwing the most almighty tantrums and kicking and screaming. ds1 never acted like this and it scares me a bit too but I'm sure it's pretty much par for the course at this age range and I was just lucky with ds1!!

lou33 Tue 26-Apr-05 22:49:27

for you or him?

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 22:52:51

for him, Lou. I've already taken a small trank. I'm so wound up I could climb the walls.

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 23:01:36

ds still screaming... should i give him "something"? What can I give him that won't harm him????

moondog Tue 26-Apr-05 23:08:05

I'd just leave him. He'll cry himself to sleep. Might be even worse if you go in and try to push something in his mouth. Sounds like you need the space too.
He will stop (as I used to repeat endlessly when colicky dd cried every night for 6 hours solid for 10 weeks!!)

sansouci Tue 26-Apr-05 23:12:31

Thanks, Moondog. I was just about to give him some calpol. I'll leave him alone & go to bed myself. Sigh!

lou33 Wed 27-Apr-05 08:52:20

how was he sansouci?

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