Why does my baby stare at me?

(29 Posts)
HarryB Mon 20-Apr-09 12:52:24

Perhaps a silly question but MNers aren't judgemental so here I am asking it. My DS1 will sit and stare at me for what seems like ages on end. When DH holds him, he turns his head to stare at me, and he is now in his bouncer, staring at me. he will sometimes break the stare with a smile when I talk to him but other than that, it's more staring. I thought it might be boredom but I make sure I do enough with him during the day, without overstimulating him. Does he not know who I am, or does he not like me sad. Most of all, is it normal?

FluffyBunnyGoneBad Mon 20-Apr-09 12:54:13

He's learning, he's examining your face and looking at how your face changes. It's normal, part of his bonding process with you. He's getting to know you aswell smile Talk to him, smile, this is how they learn. Honest!

BigBellasBeerBelly Mon 20-Apr-09 13:00:34

He is fascinated by your beauty smile

(This is normal. Some people have been known to be freaked out by it!)

frumpygrumpy Mon 20-Apr-09 13:04:37

He recognises you. You are about the only thing he does recognise. He feels safe when you are there and when he can see you. He has bonded! A good thing! Feel free to chat to him like he was any age.

You could buy a book like "What to Expect The First Year", it explains what is happening to him on a month by month growth basis (what he can hear, what he can see etc) and can be interesting to understand where he is on a development basis. Its a rough guide and shouldn't take it too literally though. There might be better ones out there, my one is ancient and a bit American.

DuffyFluckling Mon 20-Apr-09 13:10:08

Because he luuuurves you!


BigBellasBeerBelly Mon 20-Apr-09 13:13:48

I liked that what to expect book too frumpy. Gives a range of ideas for things rather than just prescribing one method as per certain other people we don't mention wink

babyphat Mon 20-Apr-09 13:14:16

because you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen and he's learning your face off by heart

pramspotter Mon 20-Apr-09 13:19:52

Awww, it's because you are the centre of his little world!!

HarryB Mon 20-Apr-09 13:21:01

Thank god for that. Thank you ladies, I feel much better now.

Frumpy, I do have the book "your baby week by week" but it doesn't cover every dumb arse question I have grin

pookamoo Mon 20-Apr-09 13:43:55

Definitely because he LOVES YOU!

piscesmoon Mon 20-Apr-09 13:57:37

I would agree-he is learning to differentiate faces and loves you!

Horton Mon 20-Apr-09 13:59:32

My daughter once stared so hard at a man on a train when she was a few months old that he got up and moved seat.

And yes, he's doing it because he loves you and because faces are the most interesting thing he can see and because he wants to learn everything about everything. He's just starting with faces.

HarryB Mon 20-Apr-09 14:04:13

I'm liking these answers; making me all smiley. You know, I hate my MiL even more now than usual. She saw DS staring at me last week and I asked why he could be doing it and she said sod all, yet it sounds like an experienced mum would know. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't be so insecure and asking the question in the first place. Spiteful bitch. Sorry, for going OT but she makes me angry

I noticed in my op that I said DS1, I meant DS. Only have the one baby smile

Horton Mon 20-Apr-09 14:14:04

I'm guessing maybe your MIL never really thought about it or wondered what was going on when her baby or babies were small. My MIL is quite clearly a very loving and kind mother (she thinks her children are absolutely perfect in every way) but she has some kind of peculiar idea that little babies don't really have thoughts or feelings, which led to some weird discussions when my daughter was tiny. I suspect when hers were small she never even wondered what they were thinking about etc because she just thought they couldn't.

BigBellasBeerBelly Mon 20-Apr-09 14:14:20


Unless there are other issues (which there may well be) don't be too hard on her - my own mother claims not to be able to remember anything at all about birth/feeding/weaning or anything on the basis that it was 30 years ago. Which is fair enough I suppose, but how can anyone seriously not remember if they BF?!!!

HarryB Mon 20-Apr-09 14:31:49

Bella, there are issues aplenty, there is a whole thread on it grin

BigBellasBeerBelly Mon 20-Apr-09 16:41:21

Aha. In that case train the baby to stare pointedly at your MIL every time she says something ludicrous smile

pookamoo Mon 20-Apr-09 18:05:56

DD has a wonderful frown that she dishes out to certain people in between long stares! We call it the Paddington Bear Stare.

Babies love to stare at things, and their Mummy is the centre of their little world, so they will stare at you all day if they can.

But having said that, given half the chance I would probably stare at DD all day too, she's so scrummy, and I bet your DS is the same!

frumpygrumpy Mon 20-Apr-09 18:16:51

And MN is here for all/any "dumb arse" questions grin <<fg peels up shirt to show DUMBARSE tattoo on tummy>>

OrmIrian Mon 20-Apr-09 18:18:16

Because you are juggling with flaming torches?

OrmIrian Mon 20-Apr-09 18:18:16

Because you are juggling with flaming torches?

screamingabdab Mon 20-Apr-09 19:58:01

HarryB This thread has made me go all warm and fuzzy .
Oh, to have a baby stare at my face all day! (not a 6 year old stare at my bum and say "mummy, you have a big bum")

Seriously, how old is DS1? Is he of smiling age yet ?

The reason I ask is that DS1 was much less of a smiler, more of an observer, so the staring seemed quite intense (everyone used to say what a "serious" baby he was), whereas DS2, at the same age, was all jazz-hands, big smile "notice me" grin

BigBellasBeerBelly Mon 20-Apr-09 20:03:09

BTW Harry loving that MNers aren't judgemental - have you tried an AIBU thread yet? grin

HarryB Mon 20-Apr-09 20:55:20

Oh no Bella, not ventured to the AIBU thread. I'm too frightened. grin

Screamingabdab, DS is 14 weeks. He is smiling and chuckling, obviously not 24/7 (that's another dumb question I asked my friend, who said "bless, when they start smiling, doesn't mean all day long").
The staring can be quite intense, like he's reading my thoughts, but if it's because he loves me then he can stare away. smile

pookamoo Mon 20-Apr-09 22:05:47

It is for sure!

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