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Why do they have to trash every thing?

(24 Posts)
Donbean Sat 23-Apr-05 12:00:22

It is getting me down a bit i have to confess.
My house is trashed.
Too many things to list, but ive just gone in to check on him while he is having his sleep and he has emptied the top drawers of his chest all over the floor from his cot.
His laundered, ironed clothes are scattered all over his room.
Normally this wouldnt bother me (because its only clothes) but ( possibly, maybe, queerying if i may be a tad premenstrual) i wanted to throw him out of the window!
I am fed up with the mess, destruction and chaos of having a 21 month old demon (who by the way has horns and hooves).wreaking havoc on my calm tranquil haven.
Im thinking of revenge for when he is in his teens....starting with photos of bear bums in the bath...for his first girlfriend...hmmmmmm evil thoughts.

colditz Sat 23-Apr-05 12:08:56

Oh God you are describing my life. My boy does this too, he has just turned 2. It does get better though, obedience starts lasting a bit longer than "I said don't do that!"

Donbean Sat 23-Apr-05 12:13:48

yes but why do they have to do it????????????????? wwwwwwhhhhhyyyyyy????????

colditz Sat 23-Apr-05 12:21:05

The official line is that they are exploring their surroundings. They don't see mess, they see heaps of interesting things, and the more untidy it all is, the better. When I was a child I used to enjoy looking in my mother's chaotic drawers, because I lived in hope of finding "something interesting"!

What works with my boy sometimes is to fill a cou8ple of boxes with handfulls of things - kitchen implements, crayons, bits of magazines, toilet rolls, little cardboard boxes, boxes to put in boxes, things to put in boxes, little jigsaws.

Fiddley small bright things. Furniture castors work, tassles off cutains too! Makeup brushes.

Put the lid on the box, put it in the middle of the floor, and let him trash that! It gives me a few minute's of peace anyway!

Lonelymum Sat 23-Apr-05 12:30:06

They are not trashing everything, they are exploring. Repeat 50 times before reacting to the latest outrage.

Don't despair, not every child is like this. My ds1 was but then I had a few years of relative peace with ds2 and dd. Unfortunately, ds3 is like ds1 only at least five times as bad: nothing is left unfiddled with, nothing is safely put away as he can negotiate all child locks and climbs up to high shelves fearlessly.

The only advice I can give is to put away anything you value (you will have done that already I know) and lower your expectations of what your house and possessions should look like. Oh and also, don't give in to things you find completely unacceptable, like, in my case, scribbling on things. Reserve your greatest wrath for when that happens.

Chin up! When he is older, he will be bright, inquisitive, know how to fix the computer, will construct flat packed furniture quicker than you can fathom out the instructions, and generally be quite useful. I know this because ds1 (nearly nine) although still prone to fiddling and breaking things, is also very practical and useful around the house.

Donbean Sat 23-Apr-05 12:31:05

We have B&Q plastic storage boxes full of his toys and he likes nothing better than to half empty the box, climb in and sit and explore. he is happy for about an hour doing this!
Im not moaning, just observing i guess. Today i feel like my nerves are on the edge so im easily irritated. Im taking oil of evening primrose so things should get better on a monthly basis now.Fingers crossed.
Normally im delighted by his unending curiosity and imagination.
Thanks for talking to me colditz, just wanted a natter.

TinyGang Sat 23-Apr-05 12:32:29


I don't know why they do it but it's intensly difficult to stay sane while they trash the place, I know! My twins used to do this to their room at this age. Drawerfulls of clothes tipped out everywhere that I'd carefully laundered. Like you, I tried to reason 'only clothes etc', but the washing and irorning does take up quite a bit of my time and it really started to get me down tbh, seeing all my efforts trampled underfoot.

I don't know if it eventually stopped because they grew out of it or because my reaction. I became less and less 'nice mummy' about it, culminating in a huge 'I've lost the plot' scene of which I'm not proud, after about the 50th time of it happening.

It was happening when they had been put up for a sleep and I got the idea in the end, that they were doing it because they just weren't tired. I stopped the nap, and the episodes with the clothes stopped. I was sorry to lose the break the 'nap' gave me, but they weren't sleeping anyway and I was just getting so het up about the clothes.

That's not to say we don't nearly drown under the mess with toys during the day, but I try to limit that to a couple of rooms and the garden. Mess with toys is understandable I know, if a bit depressing at times. They do seem to play a bit less chaotically as they get older, but some days it's still complete mayhem and drives me nuts.

Donbean Sat 23-Apr-05 12:32:54

Lonelymum thank you too. Im pleased im not alone with this.

Rinkydink Sat 23-Apr-05 17:58:48

My ds pulled the tv off the stand, two days ago. I had turned off the tv (was sick of watching the same repeats on ceebies) and pulled out the plug and hidden it behind the tv. My 2year old quickly sussed, that if he pulled the right wire, then the plug would come forward and he could plug it back in (crafty blighter, but clever!). Result was the tv falling on its face because he had pushed it to one side to get the wires, he pushed too far.
So after initial, "OH MY GOD!!!" and "Oh, thank goodness you're ok", and "you naughty boy!!"
I realised that i dont have any house insurance, and will have to fork out at least £200 on pay day.

Donbean Sat 23-Apr-05 18:02:37

you see, its an epidemic of distruction!
I think they are all in contact with each other via satalite links or some thing, giving each other top bloody tips!

Blackduck Sat 23-Apr-05 18:16:56

What is it Dr Chistopher Green says? They have all the activity of an international airport, but the control tower is out of action.....

Donbean Sat 23-Apr-05 18:22:50

yes, ive read that too! like it like it.

PuffTheMagicDragon Sat 23-Apr-05 18:26:23

Trashcity here too !

There are childproof locks and catches on every damn drawer and door in the house, but ds2 can still sniff out something to demolish!

Blackduck Sat 23-Apr-05 18:29:12

Mine takes all the videos out of the cases (our fault for having them where he can reach them...) rearranges the contents of the fridge and is currently stess testing the on/off button of the surround sound system.....

Hausfrau Sat 23-Apr-05 20:09:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blackduck Sat 23-Apr-05 20:44:33

lol - i love the idea of having 'lost the end of my tether'!! I am going to adopt that phrase - its so apt!

Nemo1977 Sat 23-Apr-05 20:49:22

donbean can completely empathise as my ds 18 mths likes to use my lovely expensive [prechild]curtains as a swing and they are ripping from the hooks. No matter how much i say no dont do that mummy said blah blah move him away etc..he is back there gleefully smiling as he swings...sigh.

TwinSetAndPearls Sun 24-Apr-05 18:08:54

My dd waas exactly the same at that age it has got better since moving as the house is not as open plan.

I think one of her worst episodes of destruction involved trying to make a cake while I was in the shower. It resulted in most of the downnstairs being covered in eggs and flour. But as she has got older her play is less destructive and chaotic, although it is still odd, the other day she half filled the bath and added a packet of tampons. She then yelled downstairs, look mummy your bum sticks are swimming!

We have locks on all our doors so she can only reck one room at a time .All the kitchen cupboards have locks as do her wardrobe and drawers in her bedroom as I got sick of picking up cleaned ironed clothes off the floor.

We are also lucky enough to have a playroom for her so she spends most her time in their, which keeps the rest of the house safe. I also have boxes of toys but only I can get them down so if she tips one lot over it won't be followed by ll the other boxes. Now that she is older she has a reward chart that involves her making her bed tidying her room, if this isn't done she is not allowed in her playroom. Although dd is a year older than your son.

Last month her playroom was getting into a tip and she was reverting to trashing the house so we put the contents of her playroom in the lost and it was brought down one piece at a time.

I do think though it is just a phase they are going through and while you may be able to limit the damage to an extent there isn't much you can do.

Rinkydink Sun 24-Apr-05 19:05:45

Lol!!TwinSetandPearls - "your bum sticks are swimming!" Nearly fell off my chair laughing!!
Ds put 2 nappies and one of my trainers in the bath when she was about 10 months old... forgot about that!

Lonelymum Sun 24-Apr-05 19:14:28

Ds3 climbed into the bath the other day because I had put a whole load of new toiletries on the far side of the bath where I thought he would not be able to get to them. Unfortunately, he got his new packet of nappies and used that as a stool to climb into the bath. A bit later I found him in there, fully dressed, soaking wet because he had run the taps, the bath full of towels, toys and the new toiletries, and a new tube of toothpaste I thought was sealed, open and toothpaste everywhere (including evidence that much of it had been eaten by him). That was quite a mild occurrence really.

TwinSetAndPearls Sun 24-Apr-05 20:03:54

Rinkydik, she is obsessed with my bumsticks! we were shopping once at the Trafford centre and we went to the loo together. When we got back to sit with our friends she announced very loudly

"Mummy has pink Barbie wee but she is ok as she as just put a stick up her bum!"

Rinkydink Sun 24-Apr-05 20:51:54

TwinSetand Pearls - Thats classic! I love it! Haven't had to explain it to my daughter yet, not sure i'll use 'bum sticks' though! LOL

vicdubya Sun 24-Apr-05 21:05:39

pmsl Twinset!!!!

I am just steeling myself for it to get worse, Donbean.

Ds is 13 months and can only destroy what he can reach, so far.

But the climbing has started

And, apparently, not all kids are like this!! My nephew wasn;t. My parents can't get their head round it. Took him over there last week and within seconds he was in the under the sink cupboard with a bottle of something evil and purple in his hand. Looked like some sort of spirits...gaaaaaaa

I dread taking him anywhere that is not toddler proofed, it is exhausting.

I am just hoping that as he gets older, getting cross will have more impact.

He used to take no notice, now he comes over and guiltily hides his head in my knees for two seconds before going back to continue pulling on the oven door or whatever.

Blackduck Sun 24-Apr-05 21:13:51

Read Toddler Taming by Dr. Chris Green. Buy Toddler Taming tips for anyone else (Grandparents) who don't get it.....the guy is pretty spot on.......THEY ARE NOT EVIL!!

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