Ds1 is 6, in year one . He took ages to settle in when he started in reception, he's a gentle and sensitive boy at school, quiet as well. After a rocky start he seemed to be doing so well, and his confidence was growing, but now this is all under threat, and i might be about to fall out with the school.
He came home the other day obviously unhappy, his behaviour at home over the last few weeks leading up to the start of term has gone downhill, with him being ultra sensitive, crying , tantrums, but i put it down to a hormone spurt or something. When he came home the other day he satrted crying about not going back to school, and looked so miserable my heart was breaking. Finally he said that a couple of boys have been picking on him and calling him gay. I was horrified. He was crying his eyes out about it (he knows what being gay means) and cried himself to sleep, begging me not to send him in the next day. He woke a few times int he night asking me not to send him and as soon as woke in the morning he was crying again asking not to go. Dh called the school to speak to the head before we sent him in, but she wasn't there and didn't call back, so we kept him off and took him out with us on a day we had planned for ds2 ( i know it probably sent the wrong signals out to him, but we didn't want to spoil ds2's promise of a day out). Anyway we called the school when we got back and spoke to the head, and she tried to talk about his attendance instead of the issue!
Sent him in today with promises of the school sorting it out, and i believe they have talked to the children in question, only for ds to come home and tell me that a new boy he had befriended, had now started playing with these other kids, and had started calling him gay as well.
I have called the school and said this really needs to be sorted, which they have promised to investigate again, but once more they tried to infer that his attendance is part of the reason he is being isolated. Anyway i have told them that i will leave it in their hands, but if they do not stop it , and ds is still being hounded then i will feel obliged to intervene and sort it out with the parents, which i am sure they would rather avoid, so i am giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, but what can i do to make sure ds knows he is not wrong, that the kids are, and how can i persuade him that he HAS to tell an adult as soon as it happens, and not wait til he comes home to me?
School also said that the kids in question probably didnt know what it meant and were using it as a term of ds doing something they considered girly, but i said imo the reason they are saying it is irrelevant, it's wrong fullstop. Then they said they probably picked it up from at home, again i said it is irrelevant really because they shouldn't be using it in school (or anywhere but i can't do anything about that). If they have picked it up from home, then it's likely the parents won't take it seriously, surely?
Sorry for long post and any typos, please help!
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Need help to help ds1
20 replies
lou33 · 20/04/2005 16:20
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