4 YR OLD.......KEEPS POOING...HELP

[laneydaye]

Please anyone if you can help me, my ds is 4 and for about a week now he just keeps pooing and weeing his pants, sometimes as much as 4 times a day.
tried the calm approach....
tried telling him off....
tried the treat approach.... nothing works.
hes been out of nappies in the day since he was around 2, and theres no big upheaval at home.

its now stressing me out and i dont know what to do next......

hes toilet trained and has been for a while, was using kandoo no probs but then this...

please any ideas?
cheers.....xxxxx

[milosmum]

mt 4 year old ds does the same although this time we have been "clean" for about 2 months. i put it down to his week stomach, as he would gag if the toilet was not clean or if it had nt been flushed (a bit hard at school) and his fear of the lou itself. We put a sticker chart on the bathroom door. For each thing he did on the lou he would get a pirate sticker (hes mad on peter pan and pirates) and all he had to do was get 6 stickers a week for a treat. this has been working but we still need to sit him on the toilet before school for a while and after school. The schhol were getting a little impatient with him but on the whole were very fair with him. i found it very hard not to loose it with him sometimes and, on occasion, i have gone mad at him but i realised that didnt work and since both myself and dh have been more relaxed he appears to have sorted himself out.

just hang in there - trust me- i was at my witts end also but there is light at the end of it....

[laneydaye]

thankyou.....

your right getting mad really does not work, tomorrow he loses his treats, dvds, and no cartoons (see if that works) might try the sticker thing though.... although we did that about 8mths ago.....will try again...xx

[onlineid]

Message withdrawn

[laneydaye]

anything at the moment is help cos i dont know how to deal with it anymore except1 day at a time and trying to be as patient as possible...

a couple of days ago i told him his friends would call him smelly........i have been severely reprimanded by both my mother and dp...

[milosmum]

i said the same to my little ds- told him he would have no friends as they wouldn t want to play with a stinky baby. also told him id start buying nappies and he d have to have bottles again. belive me i ve been there (and to an extent still there), you sometimes get sooo angry but the best way is like you said 1 day at a time....just leave a note if you need any reassurance

[Toothache]

Oh my goodness!! I just started a thread like this today..... didn't see this one yesterday. My ds is 4 in June. He's exactly the same. We've tried everything too. It's upsetting us all, expecially him, but he just won't stop. 5 poos today so far. 4 around the house, on his bed etc.... and then finally one big one in the toilet. And he's wet the carpet too today.

He was fine 3 months ago.

[milosmum]

we know how u feel toothache. i started a thread on this about 2mths ago and got some great advice- as you can c by my 1st post-since then we have been more relaxed knowing hes not the only one. and so far hes been clear. he would just do it in his pants and not say anything. he would poo in the potty but, obviously, they didn t have them at school and this would cause problems.i do have to say how strange is it that they are all boys????

[laneydaye]

i know what you mean..... my friends have girls and apart from maybe a couple of incidents zilch/nothing.....

ah well gonna make reward chart with him today see how that fairs...xxx

[milosmum]

oh no ladies i spoke too soon..... little chap has just come home from school-with a carrier bag bearing his accident . oh well back to day 1...... he said he was playing outside and didnt run fast enough-bless-...

[Arabica]

No solutions but lots of empathy as my DS (4 on Sunday) has never got his head (or should that be bottom...anyway) around the concept of putting poo in the right place. I did manage to get him to stop whithholding it by using a homeopathic remedy but can't seem to do anything about his habit of pooing in pants. Just have to be patient I suppose. Nagging him just makes him worse.

[knakered]

I have read a British Medical assoc leaflet on this...they say it is always boys, generally due to constipation or an emotional issue. We bought syrup of figs...it did work as it made him go in the next 10 mins so avoided the issue at school...but it is not a long term solution ...we thought it would be a window to break the pattern.

He was potty trained easily and this just started when he startd school in sept....it stopped over xmas...but we are back to it all again....but it really is driving me mad...we have done the threats...buying nappies..etc...tried with the rewards and are getting nowhere...I really think it is to do with him being lazy ...not wanting to leave his game of football and come inside....But I find it really difficult not to get angry evem though I know it wont help him.