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Horrid whingey whiney "No - I dont like you!" 3 year old - just a phase or a spoilt brat??!!

(25 Posts)
swiperfox Mon 18-Apr-05 15:36:31

DD is 3.4 and over the last few weeks is becoming increasingly horrid!!

Every now and then when the mood takes her she whinges and has a whiney cry that drives me mad or if I ask her to do something that she doesn't want to do i get shouted at "NO!" or 'go away' or 'I dont like you' etc etc......

Do they all get like this or is she being a spoilt brat? Or is it something they pick up at nursery?

Whatever it is I want to get it before it becomes second nature to her to do it all the time and think that it can get her somewhere!!

Moomin Mon 18-Apr-05 15:43:17

snap! - we've got one of these from time to time. I think they learn that they get a reaction and it's their way of controlling things a bit. They latch on to the idea that they can hurt people's feelings with what they say and they use it when they feel it's effective.

When dd (3yrs 7m) says to us "I don't like you anymore" I just say "oh dear that's a shame because I really love you. Never mind" and walk off. Seems to sake the wind out of her sails. Sometimes I do say "That's not a very nice thing to say to someone" so that she knows it's unpleasant but I try not to make it a big deal (or act hurt, like dh does sometimes, playing right into her manipulative little hands!! He still has so much to learn about women!)

I've heard her and my niece (the same age) saying this to one another all the time when they're playing and the next minute they're best friends. It's a phase.

MrsBigD Mon 18-Apr-05 15:47:24

I'm with moomin on that... definitely a phase and the best way to deal with it with my dd is just to ignore it, because she's out for a reaction and if she doesn't get one it generally stops after a few weeks... yep she's persistant that little monster of mine

bosscat Mon 18-Apr-05 16:05:23

I get :
"you're not my friend anymore"
"you're a horrible driver, daddy is a good driver"
"you are a horrible man" (then corrected it to woman"
"go away I don't like you"
"you are not a nice mummy"

All from 3.4 year old. I have no idea what to suggest just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

swiperfox Mon 18-Apr-05 16:08:19

Im soooo glad I'm not the only one getting it!!! Do any of you get a horrid whinge/cry when they get told 'no' for something? I'm thinking maybe that she's gotten to used to getting her own way or is that another 'pushing the limits' phase?

bosscat Mon 18-Apr-05 16:11:04

no, I get "nooooooooo" at loudest level known to man, but this is from little boy so maybe they annoy differently!

Hermione1 Mon 18-Apr-05 16:13:28

I think most children go through that whingey phaze. Its quite normal i think.

MrsBigD Mon 18-Apr-05 16:26:53

dd considers 'no' to be a major telling off and runs shedding the biggest tears ever into her room

WideWebWitch Mon 18-Apr-05 16:36:04

They all do it imo, it doesn't mean she's spoilt, she's just trying to let her displeasure be known! I'd say calmly 'well I love you, now let's xyz' it's a fine line though, you have to teach her it's not on to shout NO/go away at people without reacting so much it becomes a great attention getting device! So I agree with Moomin (haven't read other posts)

sacha3taylor Mon 18-Apr-05 16:38:54

My dd is 3 next month and her favourite words are:
I don't love you any more
I cant

You are definatly not the obnly one going throught this

BEKsmum Tue 19-Apr-05 09:16:09

Thank god for finding this thread, my ds is 3.1 and has turned into a complete nightmare. I get all the same things that you guys have mentioned and I've just had to let out a sigh of relief to find it's not only my little monster.

Who said the terrible two's were bad, I'm beginning to realise that they were a breeze compared to the three's.

If anyone comes up with any ways of stopping the whingey tone of voice please let me know as it's driving me crazy, as are the crocodile tears!!!

Wishing you all a quiet and stress free day

desperatehousewife Tue 19-Apr-05 09:19:47

OH MY GOD - the wingeing...I cannot stand it. Had it for half an hour in bed this morning at 6am. Not happy! I have decided to ignore it until it gets too much and I will give him a warning then off to naughty corner. It kind of worked this morning.

Or I have heard of people saying "I can't understand you when you whine" that seems a good one.

swiperfox Tue 19-Apr-05 09:25:39

Everytime this thread pops back up I get a little bit more sense of relief that there are more of you out there!!

The 3's are MUCH worse than the 2's!!!!!!!!

desperatehousewife Tue 19-Apr-05 09:28:30

cool - mine is 2.7 and winges like a b*ard. Cant' wait for the 3s.

Twiglett Tue 19-Apr-05 09:30:18

we have a rule in our house which is no whining in the lounge - as soon as a child starts whining (and yes I do it to friends' children too ) we say it, take them outside and sit them on the stairs

you would be amazed at how effective a total clampdown can be on even the most whiny child


Twiglett Tue 19-Apr-05 09:30:49

basically, we treat whining like a full-blown tantrum

scully Tue 19-Apr-05 10:41:44

you have all been to my house and heard my dd, I'm sure of it.........
3 this month and her tone is driving me up the wall!
might try the stairs idea though for whining, she hates it when she has to go out there, so that could work.

swiperfox Tue 19-Apr-05 10:46:33

Now I know for sure she's having me on..... her favourite whinge is (in a fake crying voice) "Daddy told me ooooofffff!"

She's just followed me into the kitchen with a strop so I said "Oh whats the matter now?"
"Finlay told me oooffffff"

Finlay is 10 months old!

rodeo1 Tue 19-Apr-05 10:55:04

Lol at all these posts! My ds is 3.2 and takes great pleasure from saying 'I don't love you to pieces, ANYMORE'! and 'I'm going to shoot you dead' How loving! Concerned I've brought a murderer into the world

scully Tue 19-Apr-05 11:10:27

sorry, but can't help laughing at that, Rodeo1
you have to wonder what is going in their little heads sometimes!

swiperfox Tue 19-Apr-05 11:13:09


I remember once when my sister was about 3/4 and i was 16/17 she drew a little map of her room and arrows going to my room and laid them in a trail across the floor from her door to mine and told me that in the middle of the night she was going to follow the trail and come in my room and kill me!!!

rosiegif Tue 19-Apr-05 17:06:06

I posted a message in the parenting section half an hour ago saying much the same about my 2.5 dd. I can't offer any advice but your post has reassured me that i'm not alone. When you get it sorted, can you let me know what you did?

Bearess Tue 19-Apr-05 17:29:08

Pmsl at the swiperfox sister story. Thanks as need a laugh because ds is being a beast at the moment - he is 3.8 and MY GOD in this house, the threes are so much worse than the twos! He threw a full-on stroppy hissy fit outside nursery - had to be carried to the car - then escaped and ran back to the gates - had to be carried back again, took about 10 mins to get him into his car seat, all the while he is punching, hitting and kicking me and saying "I don't want you", other parents were literally watching with mouths open, I was expecting them to produce score cards at any minute!!

scully Wed 20-Apr-05 10:21:31

Not nice for you Bearess but reassuring for me I'm not alone with the nursery battles. dd had a phase of not wanting to go home, that lasted about a month. now she is happy to see me and wants to leave, but as soon as we get to the car, she takes a good 10 minutes messing around in the car before she gets into her seat, & generally after I've got cross
She completely winds me up most afternoons before we've even left the nursury grounds......within an hour of getting home though, she is ok again and very nice to be around. Doesn't help that I'm newly pregnant with a short fuse right now either

knakered Thu 21-Apr-05 13:39:14

My 3 yr old (youngest of 3 v close together) is v demanding...noted by others not just me. She used to get up really early 5.30am ...really tired and whinge all husband used to leave for work extra early as it was all so unpleasant...with me screaming after him..."its alright for you Ive got another 12hrs of this on my own!"...however things are better now...engaging her in an activity was worth the time invested...even if it was at 8.15 when you are trying to get the other two out to school,,,sometimes they are tired and they just need a hug...even though you feel like battering them -- it does does pass...thank God.

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