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A bit of a sensitive subject

(40 Posts)
Abitpersonal Tue 12-Apr-05 19:41:13

I really could do with some help and advice on a very sensitive subject.

My daughter who is almost 5 has recently started putting her hands down below.To be honest I am not even sure if she realises she is doing it.
I have tried distracting her and telling her not to do it but she still keeps doing it. I am so worried that it has put me off putting her in a summer dress for school.

I would appreciate any ideas that you may have to help.

Socci Tue 12-Apr-05 19:43:04

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NomDePlume Tue 12-Apr-05 19:43:20

I would just explain to her that it's not 'wrong' to do it, but it's not nice to do it public ! There are folks who will be able to word it better than me but hopefully YKWIM !

IMO, teling her not to do it will either encourage her to do it more or will instill some sort of sex is dirty type message. Neither of which are ideal....

Abitpersonal Tue 12-Apr-05 19:44:48

Socci - As she usually wears tights at school with her skirt. So if she doesn't have the tights on then she is more likely to do it at school where all of the other children will notice!

Beetroot Tue 12-Apr-05 19:45:45

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JoolsToo Tue 12-Apr-05 19:46:36

is this a joke?

blossom2 Tue 12-Apr-05 19:46:44

my DD who has just turned 3 years, does this when she has no knickers on at home. we're finding it funny at the moment, but i can see myself in your situation in a couple of years time ...

motherinferior Tue 12-Apr-05 19:46:50

I'd say it's something we do at home, not with lots of other people around. Like nose picking. I've actually said exactly the same about nose picking to DD1.

Abitpersonal Tue 12-Apr-05 19:48:42

Joolstoo - I am a regular speak to you quite a lot and it is not a joke. Infact something I am worrying about and getting upset over.
Sorry if you find it so funny.

HappyMumOfOne Tue 12-Apr-05 19:51:14

What is she actually doing? I ask this because my ds who is 2.7 is always pullingy and playing with his willy! I used to say stop doing that please but then realised he just thought it was a game and done it even more! He actually does it with no meaning but if he is sitting there watching tv or very involved with something he just automatically starts doing it but like u said i dont think he realises what hes doing!
He only does it if he is naked with no pull-ups or pance on Will your DD do it if she has her knickers on?

Tissy Tue 12-Apr-05 19:51:54

dd(3) does this a bit too, I usually ask her not to do it, because "your bottom will get sore and your fingers will get smelly"!

Abitpersonal Tue 12-Apr-05 19:53:59

HMOO - yes she does so it with her knickers on, rather worryingly.

I know people may not take this very seriously but I am getting very worried about it

JoolsToo Tue 12-Apr-05 19:55:38

I'm certainly not laughing, I can assure you, but there have been some dodgy postings of late -makes you kind of cautious - I'd hate to think I'd upset a 'friend'.

FWIW - I think its quite normal and she will grow out of it. If it was me I wouldn't draw attention to it.

Beetroot Tue 12-Apr-05 19:56:17

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motherinferior Tue 12-Apr-05 19:56:27

ABP, may I ask, what in particular is worrying you? The fact she is doing it, or the fact that other people will see her doing it?

Because I don't think, myself, that children should be stopped from touching themselves. I think it is a good idea to say - in a non-loaded way - that it's not a public thing to do, and more importantly that if anyone else touches them in a way they don't like, they should tell the other person to stop it.

ThomCat Tue 12-Apr-05 19:57:04

Why do you think it's a joke Jools?

Abitpersonal - on a big mothers night out the topic came round to this and all the parents, of sons and daughters, said their kids did the same thing. I remember doing it. i remember my neighbour (same age as me) doing it! I remeber 2 girls at infant school doing it! It's normal.

Do not make too big a thing out of it.
Don't worry about the summer dress, she'll be fine.

MaryP0p1 Tue 12-Apr-05 19:58:03

We used to have a little girl at nursery constantly fiddling with her nickers. It used to drive me crazy. We never managed to get her to stop.

Beetroot Tue 12-Apr-05 19:59:47

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Caligula Tue 12-Apr-05 20:00:40

When people say kids will grow out of it, will someone please tell me when? Because my DS does this too, and he is now 5 and 3/4. I do wonder if he does it at school.

Sorry to hijack abitpersonal, but some of the answers might be of use to you!

HappyMumOfOne Tue 12-Apr-05 20:00:55

I would just say not to do it in public like picking ur nose etc! Dont ake a fuss about it as the more fuss the more they do it i realised this with y ds as i was getting upset about it and worrying about hi doing it in front of visitors etc! But to be honest i have not mentioned it since and he does not do it much anymore! When he does do it at home i just distract him and say something about what he is doing like " oh look dora has got to find some bananas"
that norally works.

Dont get upset about it many many kids do this so dont feel awkward!

Abitpersonal Tue 12-Apr-05 20:01:22

It's the thought of other people seeing her. I mean she would probably do it at school. It's just a worry this world we live in, unfortunately.
Although I have no problem with what she is actually doing IYSWIM

ThomCat Tue 12-Apr-05 20:02:16

Why do you think it's a joke Jools?

Abitpersonal - on a big mothers night out the topic came round to this and all the parents, of sons and daughters, said their kids did the same thing. I remember doing it. i remember my neighbour (same age as me) doing it! I remeber 2 girls at infant school doing it! It's normal.

Do not make too big a thing out of it.
Don't worry about the summer dress, she'll be fine.

ThomCat Tue 12-Apr-05 20:03:41

sorry, don't know what happened to my post.

HappyMumOfOne Tue 12-Apr-05 20:04:51

Well this thread has made me feel better cause to be honest i never realised any kids done it! I used to worry a bit but i have just put it down to one of those things now! Especially with boys they do it when there 20 dont they, they never grow out of it!!

HappyMumOfOne Tue 12-Apr-05 20:05:25

* MANY kids not ANY kids lol

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