Least plausible lies your dcs have told

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

DD (3) 'No I haven't had an accident - it was DS, he did a wee on my bottom.'

[FoxyBingo]

My son once told me a realy long story abotu a rainforest creature called a "biddoof"( sp?). he was into Diego at the time. I totally believed him. till he said he saw it out of his window one night.

And his brother confirmed it was , in fact, a Pokemon creature.

I was totally had!

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

LOL @ you believing in the Pokemon creature!

DD's friend at nursery tells her he's killed 2 dinosaurs with his light sabre on the way into nursery that morning and she believes him.

[Mercy]

Apparently I blamed my baby brother for throwing my uneaten breakfast into the sink (a bowl of soggy cornflakes)

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

What are baby brothers to be there for if not to be blamed, after all?
It is quite good at the moment because ds can talk but hasn't realised he can say things that aren't true, so we can find out what really happened. When he learns to lie we will be sunk.

[ProfYaffle]

dd2 (2) told me the other day that Rocky pushed her off her chair in the kitchen. Rocky is the puppet racoon at her toddler music class

[MitchyInge]

'a burglar has been sick on my bed'

[SobranieCocktail]

DD told me that DS had scribbled on the wall.

While she was covered in felt tip.

And DS was about 3 months old

[SobranieCocktail]

ROFL at your daughter, Kathy

[BONKmesenselERZ]

My DD (3) told her key worker at playschool that she was not allowed to do any exercises because it could hurt her and that i had written in her book about it! Key worker pulled me aside to ask if this was true! NOW what made it embarrassing was that im overweight and im sure the key worker thought i had genuinally said this!

DS when he was 5 told his teacher that daddy had gone and mummy was all alone! His teacher came out and asked if i was ok as DS had told her me and DH had split up! I had to tell a very embarrassed teacher that if DH and i had split i needed to know who was in my bed the night before!

[Mercy]

Kathy, dd started telling lies at around 7 or so. Ds is 5 and still doesn't understand the concept - in fact he ends up grassing on his older sister!

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

DH's sister scribbled her siblings' names on walls to get them into trouble. All was going well, with MIL pleasingly irate with DH and his brother until she overreached herself one day and graffitied 'Mummy'.

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

Oh yes, DD3 managed to convince her year one teacher last year that she was allergic to apples, oranges and bananas. She got away with it apparently until a TA who knew her very well came into class one day and was puzzled to be warned not to give DD any fruit!

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

These are so funny! I'm crying with laughter at LadyGlencora's SIL writing 'mummy' on the wall.

[fruitshootsandheaves]

once when dd2 was crying in the lounge, before she could talk. I went in to see what was wrong and DS immediately said.
"I didn't pinch her"

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

ROFL Fruitshoots!

[FoxyBingo]

i love the cats one

[Wisp]

Just almost lost bladder control at the burglar being sick on the bed!
Last week DS1 covered himself in green felt tip pen.
Me: DS Who did this?
Him: Magic pen did it, then it ran away and hid under a rug.

and

[crokky]

lol at your DD blaming the baby for the wee Kathy! My DS (nearly 3) likes to do similar things - he weed on my mum's sofa (accident, he was excited!) and he told my future SIL that my mum's DOG had done the puddle on the sofa!! [the dog is quite little and elderly so she isn't able to get on the sofa unless someone puts her there!)

[Tamarto]

When i was pregnant with DS2, DS1 made a lovely picture at nursery went in a bad mood and tore it in half while i was out the room. When i asked him what had happened to it he told me his brother did it, when proped further he said "He climbed out of your tummy when you weren't paying attention, ripped the picture then climbed back in"

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

dd1 when she was about 2.5

dd1 "you need to tell daddy off"
me "why?"
dd1 When you were out he broked my neck and scratched out my eyes then he stamped on them"
me "they look okay now"
dd1 "He bought new ones at the shop while you were out and glued my neck back together. He told me not tell you."

DH's version of events was that he told her to go to her room after she swore at him.

[FoxyBingo]

ds3

reading record

" 14.1 09 " cuthbert done good"

[cory]

Yeah, big sister sneaked home from school secretly and pooed in little brother's pants. Probably to get her own back from the time when he wrote the letters of the alphabet on the dining room carpet in a felt tip pen at the grand old age of 3 months.

Dh must have been more convincing the time he told his Mum they were having wrestling lessons in Reception. She went steaming into the school to Have A Word. 45 years later, she still looks sheepish when reminded of this.

[FAQinglovely]

my DS1 (8) this afternoon told DH (when he came to pick them up for the weekend - YIPEE!!!) that "mummy throws eggs at us and around the house"