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PLEASE HELP - fractious and fretful 9m old

(3 Posts)
Bodders1 Mon 09-Feb-09 13:53:44

Could anyone give me any advice please???? My 9m old DS frets and fusses most of the time unless we go out in the buggy or he is in my arms. Altho he has had a couple of bugs in the last month he is now ok and i am at my wits end. If i put him down or even worse, go out of the room he starts crying which builds up into full on bawling. He also usually wakes once a night at least but can usually be settled back to sleep within about 10 to 20 minutes (we haven't tried controlled crying yet as i am too emotionally and physically exhausted). I think he may have developed "separation anxiety" since being ill - does anyone have any tips? or experience of dealing with continual fussing and fretting??

Jenni84 Mon 09-Feb-09 14:26:07

im not too sure here been a while since my son was that age lol, it may just be him needing to be back into a routine again when kids are sick including the older ones that can put them out of their usual routine my 7 yr old sleeps with me when hes ill (i have a fear of him choking on vomit during the night) and for a few weeks afterwards he'll say can i sleep in your bed and give me hassle over it not so much now as hes a bit older but some nights id have him crying and no i didnt use to let him any other time just when he was ill! oh it would have been so easy to just say yeah why not jump in and save the tears i couldnt let him for both our sakes

sorry i go on quite a bit sometimes what im trying to say is sometimes you just gotta let them cry for your own sanity and yeah it it stressful but in the long run its worth it my bf's daughter comes to visit us at weekends shes 4 and her dad has to put her in our bed and either put on a dvd till she eventually falls asleep which doesnt happen often or go upstairs and lay with her till she falls asleep and if she wakes up a half hr later its the same again... sometimes hes had to cuddle her on the couch till she falls asleep on him and if he doesnt all we get is a screaming match of i want my mummy i want to go home! i put her in the bunkbed in my sons room when i go up to bed but during the night she either screams daddy with what a set of lungs or she will wander in beside us i usually end up in the bunkbed im 6 months pregnant its uncomfortable enough for me without being squished too!! i know its hard for him to change her ways with 1 night a week but still... this is what i mean about the long run but its because ever since she was a baby her mum cradled her to sleep and every night she sleeps in her mums bed or on the couch with her mum till her mum goes to bed but it started just like this always wanting to be held screaming till she got picked up i think getting him into a routine its your best option leave him crying its hard i know to just leave them crying but it wont last forever and dont worry about the neighbours i have my next door neighbour appologising all the time and i always tell her not to i can barely hear the baby crying and im usually sleeping lol ive been there ive done that and i know that it needs to be done a few more months ill be getting my own back!!

pamirka Mon 09-Feb-09 21:40:48

When DS had a cold and was teething aged 6 months, his sleeping got the point where he was waking up 10 times a night! DH and I got into a pattern of rocking/feeding him back to sleep. When it got to 2 weeks before I had to go back to work, we bit the bullet and tried the 'controlled crying' method. I know you say you're exhausted and I completely understand that, but the other poster says, you have to think long term on this. I couldn't imagine working full-time and then being up all night with DS and that was motivation for me. I dispatched DH to the spare room for a few nights and we just let DS cry it out. The first night he cried for half an hour (I did some cooking to keep myself busy!) and then fell asleep; he did the same in the middle of the night. And after less than a week (though I'm told it can take around two weeks), DS was settling himself to sleep straight away and now sleeps through the night. We put him to bed at around the same time every night, between 7 and 7.30, and I feed him at bedtime and then when I go to bed. When he does wake up in the night, we leave him - hard as it is - knowing that he now knows how to calm down. So I guess I'm trying to say: look to the long term and try to find something to motivate you to start a new routine. You can do it, and it will be good for baby too. Good luck!

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