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Help. How do I deal with sudden 'attitude' in my 10 year old DD? Really stuck with this.

(11 Posts)
brokenrecord Sat 07-Feb-09 19:26:09

We have had normal answering back and stuff, but suddenly she is acting as if she is really angry with me. I have been the same as normal - ie, do sometimes snap at them to get ready in the mornings for school, but that's about it.

I think she is having trouble getting on with friends at school who are more up to speed than her with boys, make-up clothes, etc. (She is more bookish and younger in outlook.)She talsk a lot about them, but seems quite stressed by the friendships sometimes.

She is being very aggressive with her sister (5) and often just flatly refuses to do anything she is asked to do.

Any suggestions?

naughtalessnickerless Sun 08-Feb-09 01:29:01

I am not much of a wordsmith, I apologise that this is worded wrong.

She is 10, her hormones are raging, period hormones can start up to 2 years before periods start. I bet that is what is happening.

ChippingIn Sun 08-Feb-09 01:43:27

Brokenrecord - it's not unusal, not at all. Equally it's not pleasant, but try to let it go when you can, keep showing her you love her, tell her it hurts when she acts this way etc. Those pre-pubescent hormones are horrid little things!! Try not to be too hurt by it.

naughtalessnickerless Sun 08-Feb-09 01:50:58

Lots of love, hugs and kisses and understanding from you.
It is not easy, some girls sail through this, some don't.
Don't blame yourself,

HSMM Sun 08-Feb-09 10:02:21

DD aged 9 - same thing. When she's good she's very very good and when she's bad she's horrid (and I mean really horrid). I'm resorting to keeping my fingers crossed (and the lines of communication open).

Dreading teenage years shock

Kbear Sun 08-Feb-09 10:13:13

Ah, I am living the 10 year old hormone-filled mood-swinging eyeball-rolling life that you are!! I sometimes get cross with her but I TRY (!!) to be calm and rational when she's huffing and puffing about something and remember the darling girl within!! When I'm hormonal too it's like thunder and lightning in here!

It's a rollercoaster of emotions going on in there and it can only get worse (looking on the bright side ha ha ha)!!

brokenrecord Sun 08-Feb-09 14:10:57

Thanks to everyone for the replies. It's really helpful to know that others are going through the same thing.

I knew this day would come eventually (I was awful as a teenager) but I am still struggling to deal with it.

Has anyone got any advice on how to keep any boundaries in place, or is that a stupid question? She has called my bluff on all my traditional discipline methods (send to room, etc) and now seems to be testing how far she can go... getting pretty rough with her sister, refusing to get ready for school, and so on.

My gut feeling is that she's looking for a brake on some of her excessive behaviour, but I need some new incentives (or disincentives rather )

Kbear Sun 08-Feb-09 14:14:48

I find a nice guilt trip works. When DD and I are at logger heads I just say, "ok, do what you want" and go do something else, ignoring whatever is annoying me. She invariably wanders in with a different mind set and we move on from there. Sometimes, even an apology might appear!!

ohappydays Sun 08-Feb-09 14:25:46

If she is angry with the world and especially you who it is safe to be angry with - check she is not being bullied or excluded by the girls. I can be a classic sign of a child being bullied.

brokenrecord Sun 08-Feb-09 15:29:15

I do suspect that she is having some problems with a couple of girls, though I don't think she is being bullied as such. I get on well with one of their mums so will sound out what the dynamics are at the moment...

newpup Sun 08-Feb-09 16:21:56

Hello. You could be describing my DD who is nearly 10. I think that from talking to her friends mums it seems to be quite common at this age. I really want my sweet, lovely girl back.

I forget that puberty starts a few years before periods and I find it hard to think that this is the beginning of all that hormone stuff. I have another DD who is 7 and am really dreading having two teenage girls in the house one day!!!

I do find she is worse if she has had a bad at school with the other girls. We all know what they are like, friends one minute, giving each other a hard time the next! My DD is also quite young for her age, still loves playing with her Slyvanian families etc. I am in no hurry for her to grow up but I think some of her friends are at a stage she just has not reached yet.

Who would be 10 again!! grin

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