Not talking in public.

[rosiep]

I'm concerned about a friends little boy who is 2.6 years old.

He won't talk when myself or my other friend are around. Also apparently he doesn't speak much at Playgroup. I went to see him at his own home without my toddler thinking it may be that he is wary of other children but again the most I got was ta and please.

His mum said he is always excited when he is due to come round my house but I can't work out why he won't speak to me

Apparently when he is in his own home his speech is very good and can string a sentence together.

Is there anything I can do to make him feel more secure when I see him.

[Fio2]

my son wont talk at nursery either (he is 3 1/2) I have no idea why as he is a little shit at home

[Listmaker]

My 2 dds rarely spoke to anyone they didn't know REALLY well for years and even now (they are 7 and 5) they are shy with new people. That's just the way they are. To get my two to talk you would just have to be patient and keep paying them attention until they trusted you. Never bothered me though and hope it didn't bother any of my friends. Was just quite frustrating that they didn't always show their considerable language talents in public

[rosiep]

I've known him since he was born and we meet up most weeks, but he seems to have changed in character over the last 8 months. He used to be outgoing but is now becoming more introverted.

[Fio2]

it is usually just confidence. Some people are shy, we cant all be loud and brash

[Jimjams]

ds2- who doesn't shut up at home is very quiet when out and about. He'll answer questions, and when left to play with children will chatter away, but is quite shy round adults. Even ones he know well. Don't think you can do much about it, nt sure why you'd want to tbh!

ds1 on the other hand who can't talk is far from quiet when out and about.

[Fio2]

jimjams, very personal question, but do you think it has anything to do with having a non-verbal older sibling?

[Jimjams]

no- although I think that did hold up his speech initially. Ds2 is very like me and I remember not stopping talking at home but being much shyer out and about, especially around adults.

ds3 is already a little chatterbox- I'll be stunned if I have a child without some sort of speech and or language disorder. I''ve just assumed there'll be something wrong with it

[Fimbo]

Agree with all previous comments made. My dd is 7 and can talk for England at home, but around other people she is really quiet and reserved and even with her best friends mum whom she has been around for the last 3 years on a daily basis although when she was younger she would chat to anyone in parks, shops etc.

[rosiep]

Thanks for the comments. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't something I had done to make him quiet around me

[mumeeee]

My DD is 13 and is still shy with adults she does not know well although she does not stop talking at home. She is fine with her friends and with adults once she has got to know them.

[dot1]

Our ds1 is 3 and we've had concerns about him not speaking in public for ages - his nursery didn't know he could count to 20, knows his letters, can read some words etc. as he would never talk there. Funnily enough this is changing as we've had to increase his days from 1 - 2 days a week at nursery. We were really worried about how he'd cope, but he's getting into his stride, and last week stood in front of the whole class and sang Bob the Builder!! At home can't stop him talking but the minute someone else is around he is virtually mute - but like I say, getting slightly better and certainly better at school.

I think you probably did well to get 'Ta and please' out of him if he's really shy - when our good friends come round they ask our ds1 stuff and chat to him as if he would speak to them - sometimes he does but most times he doesn't - it's just a case of not putting pressure on him and not making him feel different. The grown ups he tells us he likes are the ones who'll talk to him but not hassle him for a reply!!

So, I think just ask him stuff but not press for a response - let him go at his own pace in terms of communication.