Nearly 3 yr old DD who won't leave her 9 mnth old sister alone ... help me please!!

[angelcat3]

I don't know if anyone else has the same problem but dd1 who's nearly 3 will not leave dd2 who's 9 months alone. She is always grabbing at her, pinching her, in her face, trying to drag her around. She is absolutely doing my head in. My ds just stays out of it. He's lovely with dd2 but stays away from dd1 because she winds him up too.

Anybody got any ideas??

[tiredexplorer]

Is she being friendly or antagonistic? My DD1 is so excited about DD2 I had the same problem. She sees saw her as a toy and wanted to play with her all the time. Of course great but she doesn't know her own strength.

We now have "play together time" and "play apart time" which works quite well especially as she gets annoyed with DD2 trying to eat her toys/puzzles. Remember that the more you tell her off, the more she'll want to do it.

[saraya]

I completely understand this situation! My 3 year old son seems to have his mind set on harassing his 8 month old brother. Sometimes i feel like i could go mad from having to constantly say no or stop or pull him away from his baby brother. It seems he is bored and /or seeking attention ..i am at aloss as to how to deal with this myself and am awaiting the day my son starts to go to nursery to get a break!

[notnowbernard]

DD1 was like this with DD2, from THE MOMENT she was born

She was lovely with her (wasn't ever spiteful), just in her face ALL the time... rocking her, lying on her, dragging her around, rolling around on the floor with her. She would wake her up too, if she was napping (had to put dd2 in my room with the door shut to nap)

I gave up trying to intervene, tbh. Though did almost have a heart attack when I walked into the lounge to see a just 3yr old dd1 carrying 4m old dd2 across the room...

The thing is, dd2 responded really well to dd1 from an early age, was used to her noise... and very quickly got used to the physical side of their relationship (they still wrestle a lot - I'm waiting for the first broken bone ) DD2 is very hardy

ANd the up side is that they get on so well now and play together loads. This might be just the way it worked out, I suppose, but if I'd tried to separate them a lot then dd2 may have struggled with dd1 the older they ot. Who knows

[angelcat3]

I can't tell whether she's being over enthusiastic or if she's genuinely trying to hurt her. If I stop her from trying to touch DD2 she'll trying to properly hit her or tap her on the top of her head or something similar. I feel like I'm always telling her to leave DD2 alone ... I'm exhausted. I can't leave the two of them alone in a room together .. not even to go to the loo!! Now my DS has started picking DD2 up because he's at school now and thinks he's a "big boy". I'm terrified he's gonna drop her!!

[Plonker]

I think its very normal tbh. My dd1 had just turned 3 when dd2 arrived and she was just as you are describing. She wouldn't ever had purposely hurt dd2 but she was always in her face.
It hasn't done dd2 any harm though, she is a lovely rough and tumble little girl (now 5) who adores her big sis.

Dd2 was 4 when dd3 came along and wasn't anywhere near as bad, so maybe its an age thing?

On a practical note, could you use a playpen for dd2 for when you're not in the mood room? We used a travel cot, it certainly helped whilst I was cooking etc ...

[angelcat3]

Re the travel cot: she'd probably pull it over trying to get into it!! She doesn't know her own limitations!!

Glad to know I'm not the only one experiencing these issues.

Thanx to every1 who replied.