Five-year-old turning into Kevin the Teenager - help!(13 Posts)
DD, who's just gone five, was the world's sweetest child until recently when she seems to have been possessed by the wayward spirit of a stroppy teenager. What's the best thing to do? Ignore the bad behaviour or ground her for a month ? But seriously, any advice welcome.
Actually can I add a question to this thread please? WHen do they stop being so difficult? Ds was never like this and was very easy whereas dd is hard work and it doesnt seem to get any easier.
My dd, who will be five in March, has had moments of complete FOULNESS during the holidays.
While I do not like to excuse bad behaviour I have gone (quite) easy on her as a) she was ill at the beginning of the holidays, b) I think she was tired from school, and c) she's missing school and can't quite get her head around the change in routine! This is after all her first big holiday since starting school.
Will also watch this thread - any advice would be welcome! Hope things settle down for your Scooter.
I am soooo with you all. My 5-y-o DD1 has also recently turned from an angel (though this was a shortlived phase) into Kevin the teenager.
"You never let me do anything!"
"You're not nice" (she doesn't know the words "so unfair" yet but when she learns them - God help us!)
Up till just recently she and her younger sister (3.5) were as thick as thieves but now she has taken to criticising everything DD2 does. Even making fun of her pronunciation (baby lisp), less-than-perfect colouring skills etc., calling her names, poking and provoking to turn an innocent situation into an all-out battle.
Meltdown every time TV is turned off before bed (age-old routine that has never changed).
I think it must be the age and the time of year (too much out of routine, sugar overload, presents every day for about a week, late bedtimes). Where we live 5-y-os don't go to school so she is in the preschool she has been in for over a year, same teachers, same kids, same hours, etc...
She gets loads of cuddles, loads of praise, but I suspect I take a bit too much notice of the naughtiness, take it too seriously instead of distracting, or even ignoring, etc. so we end up with the negative attention spiral. You need the patience of a saint, don't you? Wish I had it!
My DD is a similar age, and has also turned into a teenager. She was ao well behaved before, and has now turned into a shouty, door slamming adolescent.
Im glad that Im not the only one in this position.
No advice, just empathy - DS is 6 now and still pretty much in Kevin-the-teenager mode. Sometimes. Not always, by any means, but sometimes it feels like it.
I suspect you have to change the way you negotiate with them at around this age - except of course that you can't win - DS wants to be treated very differently from DD (2.3) until the point that she is (in his view) getting better treatment (e.g. being cuddled dry after bath) at which point he goes into a teary decline.
(Cornsilk - we have until a week on Monday to go )
DS1 (who is 8) even does the swinging arms bit that Kevin used to do.
"you're always" swing - swing "BLAMING me."
"Well no, DS1, YOU left the tap running full on, and I know it was you that's why I asked you to remember to turn it off properly."
"Everyone in this house blames me for everything" - swing swing
"DS1, I saw you come out of the bathroom. Either you didn't turn off the tap or you didn't wash your hands."
"OH so now you're accusing me of not washing my hands. Everyone in this house HATES me."
Sometimes it helps if I ask them what they think I should do about the particular issue. Then by the time I have pointed out the flaws in their ideas (eg you can't LIVE on chocolate, Yes they could buy another book to replace the one they've lost but wouldn't they be upset if they found the original which they will if they get off their arse and spend five farkin minutes actually looking for it really try) the atmosphere has normally calmed a little)
My ds is a bit like this since starting school and I was told that it can be a reaction to the fact that they have to do what they're told there - sit on the mat, not talk etc and so they explode when they come home. I have to admit i find it really really difficult as some days all i can hear is my own voice.
my ds has started eating enormous amounts of food as well - could she be hungry?
One of my twin boys 5 has been like this since starting school which he loves. He's been lovely during the hols,dreading him going back-moody,stroppy and very like Baloonslayer's description of her son. Can't wait
My dd has been like this since turning 5 and will turn 6 end of feb. Unfortunately it is not getting any better. Prob worse in fact
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