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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

At what age did you explain the facts of life to your DCs?

19 replies

basementbear · 16/12/2008 20:50

Not sure if this is really in the right topic, but need advice please! At what age did you explain the facts of life to your DCs and what did you say? Are there any good books to help explain things? My DS1 is 6.5 and although he knows that babies come from mummy's tummy and that other animals like fish, birds and reptiles lay eggs, I don't think he really knows HOW they get to be there in the first place!! I have never tried to hide anything from him, it has just never come up. However, there are quite a few boys in his class with older brothers and sisters who are beginning to make comments that show they are obviously more aware than DS! I'd like to give him the clear facts before any of his friends do!!

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DoubleBluff · 16/12/2008 20:52

DS is 8 and i know i will have to tell him teh full facts soon.

seeker · 16/12/2008 20:55

Start from day one. Full basic knowledge by about 5, more details added as and when. It's not a one day complete ignorance, next day full knowledge - it's a continuum.

TheBayingBanshee · 16/12/2008 20:59

I agree with seeker. I have been trying since the first questions to gently tell them how it all works. I have explained a little about periods because they asked what my tampons were and I have talked about eggs and seeds. Just not got round to the actual insemination discussion . But that is more because I don't want to get flamed by other parents when it gets discussed in playground and not because I feel the need to wait.

So basically I am waiting because other parents aren't ready for the chat . I'd actually like to just tell them straight. Hmn what to do?

francagoestohollywood · 16/12/2008 21:06

Yes, from day one really, but I haven't insisted yet on the mechanical bit, as they don't seem to be interested in this that much. They know about eggs, sperm, babies growing in the uterus and coming out of the vagina, and of course periods... (as it happens when they always follow you in the toilet )

mummyofboys · 16/12/2008 21:07

Actually sitting down with him at 8 years old. He started to say he wanted to 'sex' the girls at school ... ah, bless him! I read him 'Mummy laid an egg' by Babette Cole (an old favorite) along with a chat to follow it up.

It was fun and he could understand it to his level of comprehension.

He is 12 now and I have drip fed him 'updates' ever since (it gets harder as the questions are more detailed, shall we say). Apart from what I've told him, you can guarantee they will pick up masses from the playground etc. You need to make sure they get the correct info and whatever you do, don't leave it to his mates!! My son now knows pretty much everything hat I think is suitable for his age.

basementbear · 16/12/2008 21:07

Seeker, what do you mean by "full basic knowledge" though? As in, it takes a mum and a dad to make a baby, which grows inside mum's tummy? I don't think DS has grasped the importance of the Dad's role in this - he thinks Dads just earn the money

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francagoestohollywood · 16/12/2008 21:07

Mammy laid an egg is quite a good book.

popperdoodles · 16/12/2008 21:08

I think too much graphic information is over whelming and probably quite scary for a primary school child. I'm going down the route of answering questions openly and honestly as and when they come up. I only answer the specific questions asked and in an age appropriate way, if they want to ask more, I answer more.

basementbear · 16/12/2008 21:08

Thanks for the book suggestion, mummyofboys - will look out for it.

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francagoestohollywood · 16/12/2008 21:09

Mummy, of course.

seeker · 16/12/2008 21:09

My dd told all her little friends all she knew when she was 5. She had the facts straight - I just figured that if any parents objected there wasn't much I - or they - could do about it!

Pantofino · 16/12/2008 21:14

My dd (nealry 5) has been aware for ages that she came from Mummy's tummy. She recently asked how she got out and I answered quite truthfully that a Dr cut a hole and pulled her out!

We've also explained that you need a daddy too to make a baby. Though she has had the impression in recent weeks that Daddy's can get a baby in their tummys too. We tell her no, only mummies. I feel I will need to do some full on explanations in the very near future.

frankbestfriend · 16/12/2008 21:16

I'm not keen on Mummy Laid an Egg, really. Think it's a bit daft, especially the illustrations.

I much prefered Where Willy Went by Nicholas Allen.

She has always known about the 'egg and the seed' needed to make a baby, but I explained the actual physical act much later, at about 7. I have yet to address periods and puberty though.

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 16/12/2008 21:19

Dd is just 4 and has always known the proper names for male and female genitalia. She knows that daddy's penis makes special seeds and they go in through mummy's vagina and that a baby comes out of the special hole.

She asked, so we told her.

As she asks more, we'll tell her more.

Much easier to talk about it from the earliest age so that it's no big deal later on.

seeker · 16/12/2008 21:21

"Full basic knowledge" is that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. The man puts his willy in a special place in the woman so that his seed can get to her egg, so that the egg can grow into a baby, which then comes out of a hole in the woman's bottom.

seeker · 16/12/2008 21:22

Oh, and the proper names for all the body parts involved. We don't use the proper names in everyday conversation, but I made sure the dcs knew them.

MumHadEnoughTinsel · 16/12/2008 21:24

We have never lied to DS, always told him the basics although in a child friendly manner. A few months ago he was asking way too many in depth questions and I too got "mummy laid an egg" to use alongside telling him in a bit more detail.

He was disgusted at first and asked if we "rubbed our willies together" or did "naked huggling" rofl, so I explained again. He was then disgusted. rofl

He's cool with it now though (he's 6.5) and I told him just in time as his auntie is pregnant and he asks her all sorts of embarassing questions. In particular, "did you do it on a spacehopper like in mummy laid an egg" heh heh heh.

ChasingSquirrels · 16/12/2008 21:33

ds1 (now 6) - at 3.5, just after I had ds2. He asked me the other day why I didn't get pg every month - I was sorting out my mooncup, I said something about daddy not being here any more so not much chance of that, but he went on to question in general, so I explained about contraception - although my explanation of a condom probably had his mind boggling!
ds2 (now 2.11y) - haven't as such, but he has been around when I have had further discussions with ds1 (as in the above discussion).

FairyMum · 16/12/2008 21:36

Around the age of 3 and then they look at you as if you are mad and YUK!

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