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Unsociable 3 year old

(17 Posts)
Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 20:45:00

Dd will be four in June, and at home is a lively, happy, chatty little girl (most of the time!). But at nursery she will not interact with the other children. They will talk to her or try to play with her and she will ignore them. She has been going since August, and after the initial settling in period she did start talking a little bit o the teachers. However since the nursery has got busier, she has stopped talking again. She won't even answer if the ask her a question, eg if they say "Milk or water?" she will point.

At home she plays nicely with her big brother and she has two friends she will also play with, one, who is actually ds' friend, she especially adores.

The nursery teachers are starting to get worried about her lack of interaction. I reassurred them that she does play with and talk to her special friends.
I am just about sure that she is perfectly okay, and it is just her personality, and she will start interacting at nursery in her own time. However occasionally a seed of doubt creeps in my mind. I don't want her to be thought of as the wierd kid - some of hte others already look at her strangly. And it can be upsetting when dropping her off at nursery, seeing the other kids chatting happily to eachother.

If you can reassure me that you have had kids like this, and they have grown out of it, that would be great!

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 20:57:02

Do you have any other concerns with her in general???

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 20:59:19

Also, without trying to scare you maybe post this is special needs as you may get more response. Even if it's just to say don't worry!

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:05:05

Thanks...will do. You haven't worried me as i know the SN lot are very knowledgable (a word it seems I cannot even spell)

Generally she seems fine and is very articulate and bright.

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 21:17:58

My dd is 5 and a half and has undiagnosed social/communication problems. She too is very bright but finds it so, so hard to socialise but does want to. Plays fine with older brother and close friends just struggles at school.

dinny Wed 23-Mar-05 21:24:30

Wallace, dd is nearly 3 and started nursery at 16 months. Took her nearly a year to really be herself there. For ages they kept saying she was quiet (at home she was soooo loud). Now she has found her confidence and feels at home she is sooooo extrovert and noisy there. Just think it takes some children longer than others. It's good, in a way. She likes to assess situations before letting go, IMO. Think your dd sounds fine. My dd is still v shy in situations with lots of people she doesn't know.

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:26:03

I think I know what you mean about wanting to socialise, but finding it hard. Sometimes it looks like dd would like to respond when another child tries to include her in a game, but just doesn't know how. She gives them a sideways look - oh to know what she is thinking!

How does your dd act around other kids?

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:30:13

It probably is something that will go away in time. Luckily she has another year and a bit at the same nursery before she starts school, so hopefully by then she will be more outgoing.

The teachers also say she doesn't join in at gym, but seems to be enjoying herself when she is watching.

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 21:30:52

Is that question to me wallace?

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:33:56

sorry, yes you Blossomhill. pposts crossed

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 21:36:05

dd can be in your face and doesn't know the right thing to say. She seems awkward but does want/need friends and companionship

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:44:07

It must be hard for you seeing her wanting to play, but going about it wrong

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 21:46:10

It is but she is ina communication unit so they really are helping her!!!

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:49:52

Is that a communication unit attached to a mainstream school?

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 21:52:31

Yes. Well it's real term is a speech and language unit. It is mainly for children with communication difficulties

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:55:03

That sounds great, I'm glad she is being helped.
Thanks for the chat. I must go to bed - early morning tomorrow

Blossomhill Wed 23-Mar-05 21:56:16

Thanks Wallace Goodnight x

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