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How do you stop inappropiate words from a 3 year old?

(24 Posts)
kid Wed 23-Mar-05 19:54:19

My DS has a loud voice, he can be heard where ever he goes!
He has gotten into the habit of calling people poo poo head or idiot.
He has got this from my nephew who is 8 and it really bugs me. We were out at the park today and because he didn't get the ball first he starting calling his cousin it over and over again. I told him if he didn't stop then we would have to go back home (as much as I didn't want to go home!) But he continued so home it was.

He has been saying this for a while, I tell him it makes me feel sad and have asked what names he is allowed to say. He decided on baldy head and cheeky monkey which I can live with. However, how do I get him to drop the other words? I know he could say alot worse words. He also says it with lots of aggression.

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:13:28

Ooh I wish I knew! I think carry on being strict about it and he may get the message. With ds I tell him very sternly that I don't like to hear that word. It works, but hten he just comes home from school with a new one

NannyJo Wed 23-Mar-05 21:16:16

the best thing to do with any unwanted behaviour is to ignore it and soon they will get bored of it because they are not getting a reaction. it does take some patience and time i'm afraid though.

dinny Wed 23-Mar-05 21:18:31

Oh, Kid, your post did make me laugh (sorry!) Poo poo head, baldy head!!!

dd started saying "For God's sake!" all the time and "Don't nag me, Mummy!" Just waiting for her first swear word.

no idea how to deal with it - ignore it? dd will just say it more if she gets a reaction.

QueenEagle Wed 23-Mar-05 21:19:31

Agree with nannyjo. Ignore, lots of patience. If he sees he gets a reaction he will carry on.

TwoIfBySea Wed 23-Mar-05 21:21:32

I wish I had the answer to this but we ignored it when dst (3) started swearing and they seemed to get bored of the words they were using.

What had happened was DH dropped a dish while making breakfast and blurted out "Oh f*ing hell!" Of course two sets of ears were listening and they immediately started saying it all over the place. My biggest worry was that they would say it in nursery!

Each time they said it I would frown and look away ignoring them until they said something else. It took a while but so far I haven't heard it in a while. No doubt they are waiting until we are infront of someone important!

Toothache Wed 23-Mar-05 21:28:38

Kid - Haven't got any constructive advice.... but if it's any consolation my ds (3.8yrs) heard be telling ny friend on my mobile phone (very quietly!)that all men are bastards, as we walked down the street, she'd been having man-trouble. Ds announced really loudly "Bastards???... what does THAT mean?" We were mortified!

We told him it was a bad word and that Mummy was naughty for saying it and he must never ever say it. He seemed okay with that.... til the next day when he walked up to me and said loudly and very seriously, "Oh Mummy, I know bastard is a bad word... I'll never say bastard ever again!"

Ooops... don't think we've heard that last of it!

KarenThirl Thu 24-Mar-05 06:48:54

It's one of those things that's funny when you hear it from someone else's kid but not from your own. Ignoring can work but not always. I've kind of accepted that all kids will say 'rude words' but I've settled on teachng J how to do it more appropriately. EG, it's OK to say things like that among your friends in the playground but not in front of grown-ups or you'll get into trouble.

DS (6) has AS and is going through a horrible rude word phase at the moment. Screams and yells "bum poo stink willy" all the way home from school, to much amusement from other parents (I'm not laughing much, I can tell you). I've used the token jar and it's helped a little. Last week I'd arranged a deal with him to come out of school appropriately (no rude words, shouting, throwing lunch bag etc) and if he did I'd buy him a biscuit at the baker's. He managed it very well. The teacher told me later in the week that before he left the class, he'd written all his rude words down on the whiteboard to get them out of his system.

When he was around your ds's age, he became obsessed with the fact that I didn't have a willy. One day, on a packed bus, he announced that he was going to save up all his pocket money and take me to the willy shop and buy me one so that I didn't feel left out. Sweet, but embarassing.

dropinthe Thu 24-Mar-05 07:23:07

My three year old ds said in the car the other day-"IS HE A NAUGHTY WxxxxER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Daddy!

Twiglett Thu 24-Mar-05 07:29:52

little boys always seem to call people 'poo-poo heads'

standard conversation I have with DS

DS: you're a poo-poo head
Me: no, you're a poo-poo head

.. that one doesn't actually bother me, I find it quite funny

sorry no help, just your post resonates

GeorginaA Thu 24-Mar-05 09:04:17

Yep, we have poo poo heads in our house too. A friend of mine who has a little girl was quite shocked that a mutual friend's boy seemed to be obsessed with the word poo - then was completely surprised when I mentioned ds1's favourite insult was poo poo head (ds1 looks like butter wouldn't melt even if I know otherwise...) We came to the conclusion it's a boy thing

mrsflowerpot Thu 24-Mar-05 09:29:56

I went on ds's nursery trip yesterday (they are 4). The bus just resonated with 'you're a poo head', 'no, you're a poo head', 'you've got poo on your hair' etc for the whole journey there and back. I think poo is just a big thing at this age, it's the funniest thing in the world atm for ds.

Proper rude words (of the sort he copies from mummy and daddy ) we say once, quite mildly, that we don't want to hear him saying that and then ignore. We also make a big deal of telling each other off for letting the odd swear word slip - dh and I have cleaned up our act noticeably in the last few months - heard dh saying 'oh, phooey' the other day which made me pmsl.

Azure Thu 24-Mar-05 09:45:46

DS (3.7) loves calling people poo poo as well. He has even answered the phone "hello poo poo" - luckily only DH was calling. Me telling him it's not very nice hasn't made a blind bit of difference. I guess ignoring it is my next tactic.

marthamoo Thu 24-Mar-05 09:56:18

So no one else's three year old says "Bloody Hell" then ?

welshmum Thu 24-Mar-05 09:59:27

My current obsession is with stopping dd sounding too 'common'. She's seems to respond quite well to my explanations of why 'ain't' isn't what I'd like her to say, ditto 'bum' and 'snotty'. She knows that in nursery she can use these words with the other children but her stuck up mummy uses different words and so must she once she's home - it's a sort of bilingualism I guess

NotQuiteCockney Thu 24-Mar-05 10:01:12

Our fake swear words are "soggy cornflake" and "bum". If DS1 (3y6m) says these words, I do a big show of anger and fuming, and sometimes end up saying these words again. It's very funny, a little game we play.

The words he likes to use that I don't like are "fat", "stupid" and "be quiet". All of which he gets from the original Thomas books! I just quietly say I don't like those words, and he doesn't use them often.

So far, he's not picked up any actual swear words. He once heard someone say "bugger bugger bugger", but we changed it to "wugga wugga wugga", thankfully.

northerner Thu 24-Mar-05 10:11:14

Yep, my nearly 3 year old ds is a fan of 'poo poo head, poo poo pants, stinky bum, poo poo lady etc. This morning he came out with ' I'll crap myself'?!!! Not sure where that one came from. Most of these are courtesy of his 6 year old male cousin I hasten too add.

He can be cahtting nicely to some little old lady and then come out with bye bye poo poo lady.

Think it's a boy thing.

swiperfox Thu 24-Mar-05 10:11:39

I think it's just a phase that they all get to at some point - I kknow I once proudly told my Grandparents that I knew all the swearwords and then reeled off just about every obscenity under the sun!! DD is 3.3 and has picked up any swear word that has passed my lips so I now have to be really careful - not that I swear a lot lol but things like 'for God's sake' and the other day in the library she dropped a book and said "Oh Bollocks"!! Hopefully the novelty of saying naughty words will wear off!! I can deal with silly things like poo poo head but not so much the 'you're stupid' etc, I'm trying to explain why we dont say those but it's not doing much!!

peppermint2 Thu 24-Mar-05 13:01:11

I am having the same trouble with my 3.8 yr old ds.I've now got to the stage where I'm actually relieved when he merely calls someone "poo poo head" and nothing worse! He has an older brother and sister (11 & 9)who he has taken to hitting and kicking every time he passes them. He also hits and shouts at me if I try to stop him from running off in busy places/roads. Any suggestions anyone? (I didn't have this problem with the other 2!)

swiperfox Thu 24-Mar-05 13:39:13

In my case - I have to just add - I totally admit that all the swearing that dd has picked up she has heard from me so I'm making a concious effort to change my wording when having a bad day!! However she is picking up things from school such as 'I dont like you' which I think upset me more the first time she said it to me!!!!

kid Thu 24-Mar-05 20:32:20

So maybe my DS's phrase isn't too bad after all. He does know when he hears a swear word and will say 'Oh, X just swore' (or sweared as he says!)

I just cringe when he does say poo poo head, but I find it very reassuring to hear its fairly common.

TiredBunny Thu 24-Mar-05 21:34:34

My dd has developed an interest in using the word 'bloody' which isnt a word i use but i know who does. SHe was reading a story at nursery and said 'wheres that bloody worm...... oh theres the bloody worm' also said 'shut that bloody car door its freezing' its worrying me because she is using it in sort of the right way. I have ignored it for a while and now am telling her how naughty it is and that some adults are naughty when they say it. looking out for more advice myself.

dot1 Thu 24-Mar-05 22:11:56

I make more of a deal when ds uses words like "stupid" or "shut up" than when he 'swears' as I think they're worse than him saying "flipping heck" (or once so far, "bloody hell"!!). So he knows it's seriously wrong not to call anyone stupid etc.

Merlin Thu 24-Mar-05 22:20:52

Can I join the club? My DS (age 4) uses the "poo poo head" thing all the time, I hear him and his little friends in the nursery playground saying it too! Agree with others that I don't like him telling someone to shut up or that they are stupid. Have to say that I think Thomas Tank Engine has a lot to answer for - we've been getting things like "you bossy boiler" a lot lately!!! There's quite a few sayings like that - can't quite remember them at the moment.

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