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feel like i've lost my little boy...

(17 Posts)
maisystar Tue 22-Mar-05 20:55:43

at the moment ds (4 1/2) is rude, aggressive, won't do anything he is asked to do. where has my lovely little boy gone??

i smacked him tonight, i have never done this before in 4 1/2 years and feel like crap. i could have just walked out of the house.

he doesn't seem to want to cuddle me, kiss me or make any eye contact with me. (unless i have just told him off)

feel drained and

this is v unlike me and am finding it eally hard to admit to tbh

lavenderrr Tue 22-Mar-05 20:58:27

maisystar, I don't know what advice to give excpet ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to you, am not good at this kind of advice and hope someone can help you better than I lavxxx

QueenEagle Tue 22-Mar-05 21:09:34

Can you think of anything that has happened recently to trigger this behaviour? Such as starting nursery, parents arguing/splitting up, new baby, that sort of thing? Has this sort of behaviour occurred before, if so how did you handle it then?

ja9 Tue 22-Mar-05 21:23:54

am so sorry maisystar. hugs to you. hope someone can give you good advice soon.

aloha Tue 22-Mar-05 22:46:23

There's a "Fxxxxxx fours" thread somewhere which might, at least, make you feel less alone! Boys are notorious for this at this age, I'm told. I'm dreading it (ds is three) and hope it doesn't last.

colditzmum Tue 22-Mar-05 22:50:54

Rush of testosterone, it will all get better soon. He is having a "mini-puberty", so that is probably why he is aggressive and non-communicative.

Nic04 Tue 22-Mar-05 23:13:49

Maisystar, I'm also going through bursts of that with my ds at the moment (he'll be 5 in July). It seems as though he changes from day to day, one day he'll be sweet and well-behaved and the next day he'll be disobedient, obnoxious and rough. His teacher told me yesterday morning that he's been really good lately, doing what he's told, listening, playing well, etc etc. But I had a run-in with him before preschool this morning (he didn't get what he wanted & wasn't happy) and after I dropped him off to his classroom, I could see him standing there with his hands on his hips while all the other kids were sitting in a group on the floor. I just got that sinking feeling and thought, here comes that horrible 'attitude' again. Sigh... I know what it's like and you are definitely not alone with this.

maisystar Wed 23-Mar-05 09:28:59

yes it does seem like a 'mini puberty', moody and pushing me away yet needing lots of reassurance iyswim.

cheers, nice to know i'm not alone

will go and look for that thread aloha, should make for interesting reading!

WideWebWitch Wed 23-Mar-05 11:51:56

here's one My ds was like this too and is wonderful mostly now (he's 7).

WideWebWitch Wed 23-Mar-05 11:52:24

He was wonderful way before 7 btw, don't think it's 3 years!

chipmonkey Wed 23-Mar-05 12:44:51

Maisystar, Stepehn Biddulph has a book called "raising boys" where he describes all the ins and outs of bringing up the male species. He describes that rush of testosterone as colditzmum says. They go through phases like this but they improve again. And they always LOVE their mummies!

Lonelymum Wed 23-Mar-05 13:12:20

My ds2 was a little angel until he was about 4 years old. Like you, I never had occasion to tell him off, he was bright, enthusiastic and so GOOD. I'm afraid it all went off a bit when he was about 4 and I can't say he is back to how he was even now (he is 7). Sometimes I miss the old ds2 but I have learnt to accept that he is who he is (he isn't horrible really, just not the angel he once was). I found it particularly hard yesterday when he was clearly unhappy at his new school but wouldn't accept any encouragement or support from me - almost literally pushed me away. I really hope your ds goes back to how he used to be but don't be disappointed if he doesn't: you have to see it as growing up and becoming independent I think.

dropinthe Wed 23-Mar-05 13:19:05

I feel like that with my 3y ds-He became a Daddys boy very early on and hardly wants to know me and I love him so bloody much it hurts but he always pushes me away in favour of Dad. Luckily, second ds of 1 loves me to pieces and just gazes at me as if in heaven!!!

Lonelymum Wed 23-Mar-05 13:23:39

Enjoy it while it lasts dropinthe and then enjoy the peace you get when dad and the boys go off to do Mummy-excluded activities!

dropinthe Wed 23-Mar-05 13:30:21

Lmum-read thread arggggggggggggg!!

Hulababy Wed 23-Mar-05 17:50:50

(((hugs))) Maisystar.

I know it probably doesn't help right now but try to have in the back of your mind that it is a phase and he will come out of it.

If you fancy some company to the park for a run around to get his energies out, e-mail me or give me a ring. I still have Monday and Fridays off. I have DH around at weekends - but he loves playing cricket and running around with a football if he gets the chance

Hulababy Thu 24-Mar-05 10:42:35

How are you today maisystar?

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