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The Funny Things toddlers do - a top ten!

(217 Posts)
SantaLucia Tue 09-Dec-08 08:41:57

For a bit of light relief on a cold day. Please enter here the stupidest/funniest/craziest thing your dc has ever done.

Its ok to include accidents that shouldn't have been funny but were. grin

littleboyblue Tue 09-Dec-08 08:44:52

We have our xmas tree up and ds wants to play with all the baulbals (16m), so he touches them or goes to touch them and I tell him no. He now hides behind the floor length curtains and you'll see a little tiny finger slowly come out, poke the tree and dart back, followed by a little giggle.
So funny!!!!

AlistairSim Tue 09-Dec-08 08:48:21

DD likes to stick a pencil (or anything, really) between her legs and say, loudly, "Look at my enormous penis!"

Oh how we laugh.

spinspinsugar Tue 09-Dec-08 11:14:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lionstar Tue 09-Dec-08 11:19:17

My DD stood on a box in the middle of the living room yesterday and said dramatically "look-it meeee". Not especially exceptional in itself, but she has never used 'me' before, so no idea where that came from.

I also walked in on her the other day, she was doing some scribbling on paper with her potty balanced on her head at a jaunty angle

wickedwitchofthesoutheast Tue 09-Dec-08 13:48:50

my charge (3) came up to me the other and the conversation went thus -

F - C, can you do me a favour?
me - (slightly taken aback) can I what?
F - y'know, a favour... can you do one for me?
me - ok, what can I do for you?
F - see this tamer-gerine? can you keep it safe for me in case I need to eat it later?
me - erm, ok, I'll keep it safe in the fruit bowl
F -NO! I want you to keep it with you... all times!! daddy might eat it but I might need it later!!
me - ok, I'll keep it in my bag
F - (walks off muttering) good girl

I nearly died laughing when she was out of earshot grin

nickytinseltimes Tue 09-Dec-08 13:50:59

Am lol at this thread, especially the penis!

smellen Tue 09-Dec-08 13:52:01

Sleeping with odd things (e.g. toy cars, dustpan & brush?)

Announcing to the world in general that "daddy has a fluffy tinkle" and "mummy has a hole like Aunty Katie"

Insisting on not needing a wee -then p*ssing in their pants.

"Dancing" in a very cute and endearing way.

Getting words to songs wrong, but in a funny way, e.g. Teddy Bear's Picnic: " them in their underwear..."

Iklboo Tue 09-Dec-08 14:00:49

DS - buries his head in my cleavage saying 'jubble ubble ubble'
Says 'I missed your boobies mummy' in public

Songs he gets wrong

3 blind mice = 2 mice spice
Ting Tings That's not my name = it's on my knee

Saw a picture of himself age 7 weeks in a Santa outfit "mummy, when I was little I used to be Father Christmas, look"

Loves sprouts wink

notnowbernard Tue 09-Dec-08 14:02:34

Yes, the Ting Tings.... DD2 walks around singing shouting "Are you calling me Darling?" like she is stuck on repeat mode. She's 2.4

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Tue 09-Dec-08 14:11:36

flushing the toilet 27 times in a row to check the water still comes out from the rim

walking along the back of the sofa and then launching himself randomly off at any grown-ups head like a mini missile

calling the yoghurts that come in a tube "fancy yoghurt"

when asked quietly if he's done a poo, announcing very loudly "no mummy just a FARTY"

giving my toes a kiss to make mummy feel better (aawwww)

ds is 2 and 7 months grin

Lionstar Tue 09-Dec-08 14:21:03

I forgot to mention some lovely Xmas misquotes, we've had "father crispy" and "pince mies". And for some strange reason she is convinced our neighbour is a snowman, she calls him "David snowman next door"

Missytrouble Tue 09-Dec-08 14:25:49

Sitting her daddy on the naughty step!

Walking round with her knickers on her head.

When 'helping' to strip wallpaper saying wow mummy you are doing a really good job of helping me hmm grin

EsmeWeatherwax Tue 09-Dec-08 14:27:33

Dd has a new pink hat and scarf, and when I put them on her yesterday and told her how pretty she was, she sashayed over to the mirror and went..."hmmm...yes, me pretty!" she's 20 months.

That and and doing the hippy shake with a air vent tube from a tumble drier fastened round her waist like a tutu...

mama2one Tue 09-Dec-08 14:28:42

my ds who is one, holds piece of pasta in his right hand, cup of water in his left and as he sees that there is chicken still in his bowl will dive in head first mouth wide and fish it out that way! Cant wait until he starts talking! The things said in this thread are hilarious!

Missytrouble Tue 09-Dec-08 15:20:36

mama2one, wait till he decides he is a cat/dog and tries to eat all his meal like that, on the floor next to the cat bowl ala little missy grin

cyphercat Tue 09-Dec-08 21:32:50

dd(17mo) loves wearing my bra and daddy's knickers on her head.
Cuddles me endearingly and looks into my eyes and says "man??" in a lovely voice. This is her way of asking me for gingerbread man..

Lastyearsmodel Tue 09-Dec-08 21:42:32

DD (2.6) calls Hobnobs 'Nobhobhobs'.

Loves Jungle Book and sings 'I Wanna Be Like You-hoo-hoo' as 'Skiddly boo, wanna lick you-hoo-hoo'.

Coldtits Tue 09-Dec-08 21:46:13


When ds2 was about 10 months old, it was a raging hot summer and I had not long collected my cat from the vet. So I let poor puss out of the cat carrier, stripped the ds's butt naked and then the phone went. It was an important call, but after a while I heard this mildly distressed sqeaks.

I investgated, and ds2 had crawled, butt naked INTO the cat carrier, was completely unable to turn around, couldn't crawl backwards and was absolutely stuck. All I could see was a porky little bum wiggling in the cat carrier doorway. I had to take the top off to get him out!

reindeersnake Tue 09-Dec-08 21:53:36

Glad dd is not the only one to plunge her head into her bowl and slurp up her food directly.

Yesterday she put lipstick on the guinea pig. He still looks a bit embarrassed.

whomovedmychocolate Tue 09-Dec-08 21:57:08

Coldtits -yes we've had a toddler head in catflap incident grin

DD's best one though was when she did a big pee in the potty (was very proud) picked it up and tipped it down her front and then said 'oh dear' and tutted grin

Coldtits Tue 09-Dec-08 21:58:50

Oh I caught ds1 blowing bubbles in his wee filled potty with a straw.

wellieboot Tue 09-Dec-08 22:01:14

Good thread! When they start to talk it is magic the things they come out with! My dd (nearly 2) says 'man' at any white/delivery/post van! When we had a parcel delivery last week after I signed for it she ran out of the front door after the delivery guy and stood on the path shouting BYE MAN whilst waving manically!

wellieboot Tue 09-Dec-08 22:03:33

Oh - speaking of catflaps, just remembered last summer when dd took a load of washing out of the tumble dryer and posted it out of the catflap. So the builders next door spent the morning looking at a pile of my knickers on the doorstep before I realise what had happened! Was v v v vblush

CrackopentheBaileys Tue 09-Dec-08 22:09:56

omg these are hilarious... love the xmas tree poker!

My niece used to co-sleep with mum and dad. One night they lifted her in her slumber and put her into her bed. Fast forward 5 mins... and her (3y) stomping down the hallway, barging into the bedroom and shouting 'well that wasn't very nice, WAS IT?' as she jumped back in between them.

ds(3y)sprayed deodorant on my beautifully prepared salmon dinner 'coz it smelt funny'


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