A 2 year old with sleep problems, help!!

[mummyof2littlemonkeys]

Mums help! I have a nearly 2 year old who used to be the worlds best sleeper. From 9 months I could just put her down after a story, kiss her goodnight and that would be it until 8am the next morning. 4 weeks ago she was really sick in her bed (she has never ever done this before) and ever since then she will not go down to bed and when eventually she does go to sleep she wakes maybe 2 times in the night screaming. The only way I can get her to go to sleep is to sit with her and sometimes I give up after an hour and bring her into our bed. This has been a mistake as now shes asks at 2am to come into our bed and creates havoc if she isn't allowed. The only way I can get her to go down at night is let her fall asleep on me while I'm feeding the other baby. Again, I really don't want to get into this habit either. I have a 6month old too so I can't let her scream too much or else I have two awake babies. I really don't know what to do to break this. She tells me she is scared of bed due to being sick so I know this is the problem but after 4 weeks she still hasn't forgotten and I don't know how to get over this. I've tried controlled crying but this didn't work. I'm also trying supernannys way of sitting with my back to her and gradually moving further away each night but this atkes so long and she awakes so easily when I try to get out of her room. Any ideas please help?!!

[StephanieByng]

Do you have a DP/DH on the scene? It sounds all 'you' at bedtime; is that how it is? If DH around, I would suggest he helps by settling your older child - that a possibility?

[sadieandharrysmum]

Hi. I have used the contented baby books with both my 21 month old son and 4 year old daughter. Their sleeping routines have always been superb however with illness, moving house or starting nursery for example, we have had the problems you describe. Having always used routines and controlled crying when they were tiny it has worked so so well for us. I know, really truly, how terible it seems but after only a few days it has amazing results. I would wait for a time where your household seems relaxed and happy. Give it 3 days to a week. of uncomprimising controlled crying with your oldest. After this I have no advise. I cannot imagine how tired you must feel. It hurts but it is worth it. I have a fabulous, loving, trusting, affectionate and balanced relationship with my children and would absolutely refute the opinion that CC can cause psychological damage when done correctly. It is far far more damaging for a parent to be so tired through months of sleep deprivation that they cannot function properly.

[sadieandharrysmum]

Hi. I have used the contented baby books with both my 21 month old son and 4 year old daughter. Their sleeping routines have always been superb however with illness, moving house or starting nursery for example, we have had the problems you describe. Having always used routines and controlled crying when they were tiny it has worked so so well for us. I know, really truly, how terible it seems but after only a few days it has amazing results. I would wait for a time where your household seems relaxed and happy. Give it 3 days to a week. of uncomprimising controlled crying with your oldest. After this I have no advise. I cannot imagine how tired you must feel. It hurts but it is worth it. I have a fabulous, loving, trusting, affectionate and balanced relationship with my children and would absolutely refute the opinion that CC can cause psychological damage when done correctly. It is far far more damaging for a parent to be so tired through months of sleep deprivation that they cannot function properly.

[mummyof2littlemonkeys]

Hi thanks for the message Stephanie. DH is around but works nights apart from one so yes I am on my own most nights with them both so this does make it so much harder to sort her. When he is around he does help loads but one night doesnt give us the time to solve the problem unfortuately.

[mummyof2littlemonkeys]

Thank you sadieandharrysmum. With your experience of controlled crying do you leave it 5 mins then 10 mins etc between going up to them? Then do you just put them back to bed and tell them its O.K.? Shes in her own bed and I have a stair gate on it so she can't escape!! This used to be great as she would play in the mornings but those days are over at the moment. I have given this a go but I give up easily due to her waking my other baby. I think I may just have to let this happen and try it for a week and see. Thanx for the advice

[StephanieByng]

To be honest I think you have it hard being alone with them all night so I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself about it.

What I would suggest based on my own experience with ds who hated being left, is to sit with her while she drops off, if that fits in with sorting the baby as well? At least then she starts the night in her own room...to be frank with two very young kids, and being on your own at nights, I personally wouldn't worry if you have to bring her into your bed.

It's possible IMO to worry too much about creating bad habits. You have to have sleep and you can't let her cry and wake the baby so that you have TWO to settle! Many many kids come in and out of parents rooms. It's not going to be forever; she won't want to forever and when she's a bit older she will be able to be reasoned with about it so I don't think you should worry too much about the future. Kids need what they need now. The future is not the same because they grow and change!

So I think my ramble is basically saying do what is easiest for you and gets you the most rest!

[mummyof2littlemonkeys]

Yeah thats good advice. i think you hear so much about routine and the right way and wrong way you presume there must be a reason behind it and therefore an answer to solve it! It just frustrates me as she was such a great sleeper and this was a main factor in having another so quickly. The baby isn't so great at sleeping so yes your right I think you have to do what ever makes life easier sometimes. Thanks again for the advice

[mummyof2littlemonkeys]

any more ideas? Still no good. thanx

[Cathpot]

Does she have a night light? Could you give her a torch for when she wakes up? Coud you get her some sort of special night protecting doll- some story that this doll looks after kids at night and makes sure they arent sick etc? She sounds like she needs to love her bed again and maybe you could decorate it or make it special in some new way that will be exciting or maybe just comforting for her? Um, what about a cd player or something to play soft music or read her a story when she wakes so you can gently back out? I second stehpniebyng about going easy on yourself as well (I speak as a woman who woke up in a bunk bed with my 22 month old this morning..)It will pass and sometimes you just need to do what you can to get through the phase. Good luck

[mummyof2littlemonkeys]

Thank you. I will give all that a go. Yeah your right it just really getts to me that she was so good and its all just gone so easily. I'll try the dolly idea though thats sounds great and sheloves her dolly. Bless you in a bunk, you have to laugh though don't you. I just keep thinking it will all get better. thank you again

[crossincollywood]

Hi 2monkeys mum,
I know it has been a while but
I hope things are better with your little one.
I am having a very similar problem with my 2 year old including the throwing up in bed.
Added to which, we were out at the time and granny was babysitting. we are on day 10 now, and each nap and bedtime has been torture with him calling out for more cuddles despite lots during the day (I am at home with him). With what language he has he is telling me that he is afraid of the throwing up and more recently afraid of the dark. I got him a lovely night light but no great change. Trying to be very firm and consistant but it is breaking my heart, not to mention v stressful to hear him calling for mummy for up to 1/2 hour at naptime and again for 1 hour in the evening.
Up until 10 days ago this was a kid who would ask for his bed(cot) and after a reasonable length of cuddle wave me nightnight!

[Lioness37]

Hi

I have a similar but longer term issue with my 19 month old, he had been ill for a few weeks & would cry for me to stay with him all of a sudden after loving sleep. Tried controlled crying and he would make himself sick for me to go to him. Few weeks later and as i thought he was still ill after a course of antibiotics and drs finally said he had hand foot & mouth few days before xmas. I then began to sit with back to him & have progressed to floor & used night light. From monday he went down ok, tue i had to stay a while and last night went down ok again but still not totally sorted & as he's been ill & off food because of ulcers in mouth & throat its really hard not wanting to distress him further.

[Chazneyuk35]

My DD is 23 months and always been good going to sleep. She has always had a bedtime routine / bath/books and milk/ bed - which she would just roll over and go to sleep. 4 nights ago she starting calling out and the increased to full on crying sobbing etc not going to sleep until 930! Any ideas on what it could be and how to solve would be much appreciated !

[worldsworstmum2015]

Can you change her bed somehow so she feels like it's new? Change its position in the room and put new bedding on make it all new & exciting for her