oh my, this is starting to worry me....

[justamom]

o.k.let me try to do this slow...o.k. about 2 weeks ago a teacher evaluated my 21 month old son and she said he was showing some patterns like "sensory problems" well today we did a speech evaluation and they said that he was on a 9-12 month old speech and communication level... he is so sweat and i think he is just like the other kids but then i find out the other kids he is playing with are 12-15 months old...i know temper tantrums are normal, but my DS is getting to the point where i don't know when they are going to happen..he just totally melts, screaming and hollaring and kicking and i don't know if it is because i spoil him or if it is because he can't help it....
when the speech evaluation was going on, i had to tell the lady to kinda slow down a lil because he was getting over welmed, grabbing his ear, putting his head down, looking at me, and all because the lady was trying to play peek-a-boo...
could someone please give some positive input...my DH really doesn't like to hear about it, i just do my job as a mom...it's stressing and very trying...

[sparklymieow]

at this age, its hard to tell if there is a problem, and he is coming up to the "terrible twos" which makes it harder. sorry not much help

[ionesmum]

No experience I'm afraid but just wanted to say you sound like a fab mum, not 'just' a mum. Best of luck and I hope someone here can help!

[coppertop]

Did they say if it's his actual speech and language that's at a 9-12mth level or his understanding of language that's at this level?

[justamom]

pretty much both...

[coppertop]

It's possible that if he was feeling overwhelmed by the testing that he just didn't want to do what he was asked. Toddlers don't always like these kinds of tests, no matter how much the professionals try to turn them into a game. Ds2 is fairly co-operative but if you catch him on a day when he's tired or unwell then you might as well not even bother trying.

Have they given you some things to do to try to help his understanding etc?

[justamom]

when asked to do some things he stood there in a blank.. he couldn't pick out simple things on BIG cards. They had like cup, bear, and so on...now the animals like the bear, and duck, and the baby doll he could pick but cup, and a few other everday words he had no idea....he was very very friendly which was very very odd for him...all he kept wanting to do was throw the ball and do ki-aauw ( sound )
When asked to do two part task he couldn't..such as get the ball and bring it here...or get the ball...he didn't realize what was going on...he was heart breaking because i had been stressing over it but everyone kept telling me it was o.k. and it probably will, but i wanted the lady to say ,"mom he is right where he needs to be". i just hurt in my heart...
not to go on and on, but it is starting to effect the way others see him, my grandma, bless her hear, today we went visit and my ds couln't get the cabinet open and she stated how funny because my sis's ds ( 15 months ) can do it...and a few other lil miss haps, no one means to say anything ugly, but i know what is going on behind the scenes and all my emotions come flooding when i realize that others are noticing "things"

[justamom]

thanks coppertop, but the bad thing is, he was doing some things for her that i couldn't get him to do...

[coppertop]

The exact same thing happened during my ds2's assessment. There was I saying "He can't seem to do X/Y/Z" and would you believe the little monster sat there and did these things for the speech therapist and psychologist! They said that it happened quite often so don't go thinking that the assessor was somehow better than you just because they could get your ds to do something. In our case the Psychologist assessed ds2 first (in the same room as the speech therapist). She tried to get him to do a few things and he wouldn't/couldn't. A few minutes later the speech therapist asked him to do the same things and the little monkey went right ahead and did them!

[Saker]

Justamom
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are feeling so bad - I know it is really scary if you think there might be a problem with your child. The worst part is the waiting and it's easy to imagine all sorts of terrible things during this time. Things like learning how to open a cabinet can seem easy to some kids and other take ages to work it out. I remember my niece putting her shoes on her feet at 14 months but it took my ds1 about another year before he could do that. Where are things going from here? Do you have other appointments, what did the lady evaluating him say?

[justamom]

the speech therapist just said that he could benefit from therepy, and that they would get the paperwork started...tomorrow is the early intervention meating that was scheduled two-three weeks ago and i guess they will let know where we are headed...i guess it is getting to me especially today..he has just whined all day,,,i mean really really whined...!! ALL DAY!!! so it is really really bad when you can't get him to stop whining long enough to catch a breath...

[Saker]

Good luck with the meeting. Let us know how you get on.

[coppertop]

It sounds as though you're at a similar stage to us with ds2. His early intervention meeting is next week.

One thing that seems to work well when language comprehension is delayed is to speak to him in really short sentences. Instead of saying, for example, "Do you want a drink, ?" you shorten it to 2 or 3 words and say " drink?" It feels really strange to start with but you really do get used to it. It takes out all the unnecessary bits of language and makes it easier to understand.

Ds2 started speech therapy earlier this month so we're at a similar stage to you.

[justamom]

the intervention people came friday, and they are going to start speech therepy two times a month until next month when the lady can come once a week..they are going to start using sign as well...

question, ds really is freaking my and my husband out by some of his doings...today, he road a lil pony he totally tuned into the horse and no one even existed, the lady pulling the horse commented on how shy he was, and that he didn't want he to look at him, the arm flapping is becoming more obvious, and when he gets bored he starts to sway back and forth, not weird like just swaying like a pendilum...the dirty hands HAVE to be wiped, it isn't just every now and then anymore, and oh my, his slippers, don't let a spec of dirt touch his foot...his shoes had dirt on the bottom and i guess he could tell he made a fuss until i took the little bit off....
also i went back over some early intervention papers from when he was like 3.5 months old, he was delayed socially then as well and the ot stated that his hearing was questionable then and so was his social skills, inapropriate or questionable is what she wrote...
all people are different and boys are different from girls...but how different?

[coppertop]

It's great that you can access this kind of help - although no doubt worrying for you to be told that it's needed.

It's possible that he may have sensitive hands and not like the feel of dirt on them. Ds2 is like this to a certain degree. One thing that our OT recommended was to rub some baby lotion into his hands each day. The gentle rubbing helps to de-sensitise the hands but without causing any pain.

It may also be that he just doesn't like his hands being dirty. I really couldn't say. The OT will hopefully be able to give you some more ideas about de-sensitising by using different textures. This worked absolute miracles on our ds1. He still isn't keen on getting his hands dirty but no longer goes out of his way to avoid dirt.

If he enjoys swaying sensations then having a ride on a pony must have been amazing for him. No wonder he loved it so much.

I honestly don't know if your ds is on the spectrum or not but I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can - even if it's just having someone else to 'talk' to.

[bluebear]

I was wondering if your son has had his hearing tested - My ds had speech delay and fantastic temper tantrums due mainly to a hearing problem. We had no idea at all that his hearing was impaired. He has since had an operation which has restored most of his hearing and he has improved enormously.

[justamom]

i am checking into the hearing tests because of the fact that he doesn't respond quite frequently and also because the same paperwork as mentioned ealier stated that he had minimum reaction to the sound of a bell.....even at 3.5 months...never thought much of it then...even the OT said that it was probably going to get better...
we have a cow bell, it is really loud...sometimes when i ring it he won't even flinch....atleast until like the third time...but other times he will,,he can hear me sometimes if i whisper really low behind him and other times he doesn't, atleast he doesn't let on...
thank you though i will keep you posted, if anything for my own state of mine...but thank you so so so much for the encouragement...my dh is even starting to get a little bit nervous mainly because of the flapping and the wibble wobble, and the little itty bitty steps he takes sometimes,his hands come up and his head will tilt a lil...just odd....i do have one question..sometimes he will be sitting there and his whole body will shake and shiver, kinda like he would be cold...but he stared into space for a few seconds..the first couple of times he did this he had just gotten out of the bath, but sometimes like last night he was sitting a the table and i turned around and he was staring and trembling but by the time i thought to tell my dh to turn and look he had stopped and gone back to normal.....just a toddler thing you think, sometimes i feel like i have him under a microscope, poking around for anything thing but that is just plain weird.....ever see you ds or dd do this?

[Saker]

Justamom, I'm pleased you're getting some help and early intervention sorted out. I do feel for you worrying so much. Do keep posting.

Sorry I don't have any answer to your question about the trembling - it's not something I have experience of with my sons but I don't know if it means anything.

[coppertop]

Ds2 used to do the shaking thing when he was a little younger. His whole body would tense up and he would shake as though having some kind of fit while standing up. I think I posted about it on mumsnet at the time because I was worried that it might be epilepsy or something. It turned out not to be as I could still get his attention while he was doing the shaking. He didn't speak but would look at me. I now know that this is what he does when he is really happy or excited about something. He still does it now and then but it's very rare.

[Jimjams]

ds1 did it when little as well- when excited, or when certain classical music was playing. Now (age 5) he does this weird arched back thing that my mother insists on calling stiffies...he tends to do it more when tired or in front of the washing machines hoover or stairs (excitement again or just a stim?)

justamom are you in the States/Canada. You sound as if you are getting a lot of early input which is great. Have you seen a developmental paediatrician?

[Jimjams]

In fact the first time he did "stiffies" at nursery they sent him home as they were worried he was having a seizure. He kind of goes bright red as well and sweaty.

[ScummyMummy]

sorry Jimjams but lol @stiffies! (btw- I know that back archy thing- have met quite a few kids with autism who do that.)

[Jimjams]

Have you? wow I've never seen anyone else do it- he kind of kneels down and jerks backwards over and over again. Looks horrible - and I think is tiring for him.

stiffies I know! My mother is an innocent!

[Jimjams]

Scummy has anyone suggested why they do it? Is it a stim or do they need some sort of sensory input. it loks so uncomfortable (aand involuntary) I'd like to be able to help him when he does it.

[ScummyMummy]

Yep- have met a couple of wee boys with autism who do that kind of stiffie. I remember feeling rather surprised the first time I witnessed it- I hadn't expected a chasing game to lead to that kind of reaction. God, I'm giggling like a 12 y.o. at just typing the word stiffie. Your mum sounds great!

[ScummyMummy]

I don't know, tbh. Excitement seemed to be a factor with the little boy I'm thinking of particularly. I think it is a stim and as you know stims can be v uncomfortable looking to a watcher but still satisfactory for the stimmer. Does he do it more if excited or tired?