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help with terrible twos but for a

(12 Posts)
Cod Tue 15-Mar-05 08:22:41

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lockets Tue 15-Mar-05 08:24:29

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nnosam Tue 15-Mar-05 08:27:57

one of my mates had a 3.5 yr old who was a bit like this, and she started giving him a fish oil suplement for the local health shop, since hes been having it he has carmed down a lot.
might be worth a try.
hth

Cod Tue 15-Mar-05 08:33:03

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roisin Tue 15-Mar-05 13:13:59

Hiya! This is very common at this age Cod.

I'm not sure I've much to offer by way of suggestions, other than talk, talk, and more talk (after the event when he's calmed down, to try and get him to see things from other peoples' perspective).

You might want to try this as an 'aid' to talking. Draw some simple cartoon stories with speech bubbles and especially thought bubbles. Do some positive ones as well, so he gets the idea:

Mate: THINKS: Billy is such a good footballer, he's a great striker. Maybe one day he'll play for Chelsea.
Billy: THINKS: I love playing football!
[Billy goes for goal but missed)
Mate: Bad luck! THINKS: That's a shame, everyone misses from time to time.
Billy: Aaarrrrrghhhhhhhh! I hate football. It wasn't my fault! I slipped. Archie didn't pass properly to me ...
Mate: THINKS: Billy is behaving just like my two-year-old sister.
Billy: AAAAaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaa! I'm not coming next week.
Mate: THINKS: Maybe it's not such fun playing with Billy after all.

Billy: Will you take me to football practice Grandpa?
Grandpa: Yes, I love to watch you play Billy. You're a great player!
Billy: THINKS: I like it when my Grandpa is proud of me!
[On pitch Billy goes for goal but missed)
Grandpa: Bad luck! THINKS: That's a shame, everyone misses from time to time.
Billy: Aaarrrrrghhhhhhhh! I hate football. It wasn't my fault! I slipped. Archie didn't pass properly to me ...
Grandpa: THINKS: Billy is behaving just like a toddler. I don't feel so proud now.
Billy: AAAAaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaa! I'm not coming next week.
Grandpa: THINKS: It's no fun bringing Billy to football practice when he behaves this way. I don't want to come next week either.

(These sound really banal, but it does work - honestly, and gets children thinking about what others are thinking, which is the key!)

If you have some success with this, you can start drawing blank 'think bubbles' and asking him to fill in what people are thinking/feeling too.

roisin Tue 15-Mar-05 13:17:22

HTH!

Also concentrate on method not results. So praise him on his football skills, and try not to concentrate on the scores/results.

Do you play family games? You could try putting away any games with an element of skill (Connect 4, Monopoly, etc.) and just play for a while 'pure chance' games ... Snakes and Ladders, Frustration, etc. Point out to the children that it is pure luck and no skill involved, so you can have fun, but there is no 'glory' involved, so no tantrums required. But then say that games which combine luck/skill are actually more fun, but you can only play them if they learn to lose gracefully.

Cod Tue 15-Mar-05 13:39:43

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roisin Tue 15-Mar-05 18:02:39

I haven't read "How to talk to kids" ... is it good?

Someone (in RL not mumsnet for once!) told me about the cartoons thing, and it has worked well for us.

Twiglett Tue 15-Mar-05 18:05:02

my nephew was a really bad loser until he reached the grand old age of 15


sorry, I know it doesn't help but its true

Marina Tue 15-Mar-05 18:17:08

The Aliki book, "Feelings", is a published version of Roisin's brilliant exposition. We use it a LOT with our similarly hissy, volatile, but much-loved and well-nourished little man.

cod Sat 16-Apr-05 15:31:21

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cod Sat 16-Apr-05 15:35:36

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