Time Out for 18 month old?(15 Posts)
I was reading another post about how to stop children throwing and I noticed a few people mentioned time out for their little ones ranging in age from 16 months onwards.
This is not something I have tried with my ds but am wondering if it is a good idea.
Would be grateful if anyone has any thoughts on how exactly to do it. Where would be a safe place to do the time out etc.?
Also has anyone got any negative thoughts about time out and why.
Thanks for your input.
I think time out can be a very effective way to teach LO's which behaviour we find acceptable, and which we don't.
We didn't start to use it for DD1 until she was well over 2 years, but my sister has used it with my niece since aobut 16 months. I think it really varies according to the individual child (and parent!).
IMO it's a gentle but persuasive form of behaviour management, but as with everything else is most effective when used sparingly though consistently, IYKWIM.
As for actually carrying out a 'time out' it can be anywhere that you can remove your child to that's safe. It shouldn't last for longer than a minute for each year of the childs life. We found a particular large cusion in our lounge to be the best place initially.
I put ds in his cot as sometimes the behaviour is because he is tired and so he can fall asleep.
I don't say anything as I scoop him up, just when I put him in his cot I say "we don't throw/bite/kick in this family" in a firm calm voice and then I walk away and do some housework (usually clean up whatever has been thrown ). When I get back he tells me "no throwing in family" and then we carry on as normal.
Blimey, my first reaction was 18mths is way too young. Ds2 is 20mths. Wonder if he less mature than others, or if I am at risk of spoiling him as 'the baby'. Will need to think carefully about this on our next 'stay at home day'. Thanks Ags.
Jamiesam, I also was surprised that people seemed to find this a useful thing to do with little ones. I had never considered it.
Glad to be getting people's feedback as I sometimes feel quite powerless in the face of my ds's joyful naughtiness! Distraction works to a point but then I worry that the message that certain behaviour is not allowed doesn't get through.
Thanks Badger and Bobby for your feedback so far.
Bobbybob, your method obviously works for you but I would have thought that the cot will then have negative conatation (sp?) which is not something you would want to create for your baby's bed.
But it's not negative - I haven't shouted at him and I'm not punishing him - I don't call it Time Out or the naughty corner or anything. I just put him there and ignore him for a bit - rather like I do at night .
Mostly when he does something he shouldn't it's because he's tired, so the cot is a sensible place to have a chill.
Oh, and I never threaten with "do that again and you are going to your cot". I think that would give the cot a negative image, imply a punishment.
If we accept that time out is positive parenting then there should be nothing negative about wherever it takes place. I would expect him to refuse to eat if I put him in his highchair for time out for instance.
must preview - I meant I wouldn't expect him not to eat obviously!
I use time out with my ds who is 17mths. Have been using it for about 3/4mths due to temper tantrums. Usually I do it after I have warned him 3 times not too do something. On the last warning I say to him if u do that again I will move u to the corner. Then all I do after he has done it is pick him up and tell him xxx was very naughty so now i am moving you. He is then sat in the corner by the door so that i can still see him etc. He usually cries and gets annoyed but within 30-45 secs calms down. As soon as he is calm he usually moves himself. I dont make him sit there but usually find that he stays himself.
hope this helps
At this age it'snot really time out, so much as removal of attention. Whenever dd did something "naughty" (her particular favourite was trying to get behind the TV) she was picked up and moved to the last interesting corner of the room with no more interaction than a firm "no" - she very soon learned that it was boring to go behind the TV. Liek Nemo we didn't enforce any particular time - when she crawled back over to us we would play agin.
DD is just a year, and we don't do timeout, but we do consequences. So if she bites me, or pulls my glasses off, I say "I don't play with babies who bite me/pull my glasses off" and immediately put her down on the ground and start paying attention to something else. 90% of the time she then howls, and after 5-10 seconds I pick her up again. The other 10% of the time she just goes and does something else. She now only bites me by accident (cunning little thing learned that biting my shirt doesn't count, and every so often she misses) and is down from playing with my glasses 2-3 times a day to once every few weeks. If she throws food, all food goes away for a while.
We do use some of the ideas from timeout -- in particular, we try for matter-of-factness about the whole thing. As she gets older and stroppier I can see full-scale timeouts in her future (she was hysterical for at least a minute today when she overturned her yogurt to watch it flow and I took it away).
I wouldn't do time out - I don't do it in fact - I mean, not the whole naughty step/go to your room thing. I do ignore bad/annoying behaviour as far a humanly possible (and sometimes have put ds out of the room for a few moments when he had a biting phase at about 18 months) and give loads and loads of praise for all nice cheerful behaviour. I really do think this works and I think my ds is a lovely boy.
Thanks a million for the useful responses. Gives me some ideas for discipline! Haven't had any useful ones myself so far!
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