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DD (9) walked in on us engaged in noisy enthusiastic duvet-free sex last night

(111 Posts)
OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:11:17

Walked in, turned on her heel and walked out. We lay like statues, totally mortified. DH said I should go and speak to her. I did, cringing like mad. DD was clearly embarrassed but OK. DH went downstairs to make some tea. DD called out to me that she felt ill - I went to see her, tucked her in, stroked her forehead, said goodnight, went back to bed.

She seemed find next day but studiously avoided the subject - she even explained why she got up (to find the kitten apparently) and talked about when she felt ill. But not the 'elephant in the room' so to speak.

Either she is remarkably cool (I'd have died at her age!) or she's pretending. How can I tell is she's OK?

It was bloosy 11.30 at night. We should have been safe surely.

Slouchy Sun 09-Nov-08 20:12:11




LoveMyGirls Sun 09-Nov-08 20:13:21

It's times like that I dread.......sorry that doesn't help.

I'm not looking forward to the time when my dd's will go to bed after us.

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:13:58

As you say slouchy!

Last line was meant to read 'bloody 11.30' btw... hmm

CatMandu Sun 09-Nov-08 20:15:04

Oh God, my 9 year old dd can't even watching people kissing on tv, she would be mortified. Sounds like your dd is handling it rather well, I think you should leave it be, you spoke to her at the time there's no need to keep referring to it.

ShowOfHands Sun 09-Nov-08 20:15:59

Just leave it. She'll be fine. You'll be fine. She will knock next time.

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:16:47

DD cringes too at kissing and the like. That is what is so upsetting.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been lazy, half-asleep duvet-covered almost asleep action.

mrsmaidamess Sun 09-Nov-08 20:17:06

Are you sure she even knew what you were doing?
Can you say something like 'I bet you were surprised to find me and Daddy having a kiss and a cuddle last night, weren't you?'

Or was there no way it could be construed as 'just that'?

aGalChangedHerName Sun 09-Nov-08 20:17:13

Oh god poor you.

If it helps i had a lecture from ds1 about keeping the noise down whilst having sex when his gf stays over blush (they are 17 and 16 btw)

Our walls are rather thin then.

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:18:03

Unlikely maidamess blush

I think we will just follow her lead and stay in denial.... grin

dinny Sun 09-Nov-08 20:19:51

bet she didn't notice half as much as you think - or click

she's obviously not upset, don't feel bad - it's natural!!! (sorry, state the obvious!)

gigglewitch Sun 09-Nov-08 20:19:53

blardy hell.
I think I'm reading this thinking "that will be us in another year or two".
Stuff happens.
Try not to panic over it, and hopefully she won't either. Perhaps leave it a few days and try and have another bit of a word with her, say you're concerned etc, maybe that you know she wouldn't be able to talk to any of her friends about it? Is she likely to understand what she saw?

<notes to self - teach youngest child to be like her brothers and knock on parents bedroom door>

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:22:48

Knock on doors! Now there's an idea.

We don't do privacy in our house (apart from DS#1 who is getting a bit hung up about it atm) but assumed that that time of night we'd be safe.

luckylady74 Sun 09-Nov-08 20:24:17

If it helps - in retrospect I have realised that I walked in on my parents several times, but despite knowing the facts of life I never realised what they were doingbecause I'm a bit slow off the mark! She may just be embarassed you were naked iyswim.
I did actually knock on a flatmates bedroom door and ask if she'd hurt herself and that was in my twenties blush

Littleladyloulou Sun 09-Nov-08 20:24:32

Eek blush

Can't offer any advice on what's happened but can say that my parents had a tiny discreet bolt very high up on their bedroom door (too high for a child to reach), I remember as a child getting up in the night to go to their room and finding the door wouldn't push open, but I never cottoned on why even after I knew the basics about the birds and the bees.

Maybe something to consider? Or is it shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted (ROFL) (on own) (nobody else finds it funny, LLLL)...


gigglewitch Sun 09-Nov-08 20:26:59

yes, funny LLL grin

Brainwash the buggers to knock. My dses still do it even when half-asleep grin I recommend it

brimfull Sun 09-Nov-08 20:27:40

have always dreaded this

we usually sleep with the door open,so close it when we want privacy,the fact the door is shut makes a statement to older dd but younger ds ..god I cringe.

I have a friend who is mega open with her kids-even leaves her dildo lying around shock

twoluvlykids Sun 09-Nov-08 20:27:44

A-hem - dd once walked in on dh & me ...

on the kitchen table!!!!blushblush

I rolled off the table and landed in the dog's box, dh managed to hide his bits under the was dark, she went away quickly...

never spoke about it!

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:46:23

Kitchen table! <snigger>

gigglewitch Sun 09-Nov-08 21:48:03

you feeling better yet grin

jnmum Sun 09-Nov-08 22:10:43

I remember finding my mum's vibrator when I was about 10!!!and some porn!! never mentioned it though.

Later when I was about 14 I walked in to my parents room and they were having sex, noone ever mentioned it and I wasn't shocked...although I was alot older

Heated Sun 09-Nov-08 22:14:26

I can remember overhearing my parents and offering to call an ambulance!! blushgrin

DevilsAdvocaat Sun 09-Nov-08 22:16:30

is it possible she was half asleep/sleep walking?


Heated Sun 09-Nov-08 22:21:12

you were helping dh with cramp?

girlandboy Sun 09-Nov-08 22:30:58

twoluvlykids - oh dear, and fell into the dog's box gringrin

My dd is 13 and unfortunately we have an old house where there is no upstairs landing, therefore no bedroom door. To get to dd's bedroom you have to walk through our room! Trouble is, she is getting later and later at dropping off to sleep. By the time she's asleep we're too tired!

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