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Do you ever have spells where you feel more like a big sister/friend than a mum?

(7 Posts)
SpandexIsMyEnemy Mon 03-Nov-08 20:46:19

I am having spells like this at the mo of feeling like i'm more of a big sister & not actually teaching DS anything very useful, and often question if I have any maternal instincts towards him - althou if anything happened i'd be devastated, I do have the instinct to want to protect him from the world n squidge him till he pops! (mostly when he's being norty thou blush lol)

not sure if it's cos I spend a lot of time with my family who all (mostly my dad and nans partner tbh) tell DS off as well if he doesn't something wrong - which I don't mind tbh too much esp if i'm not there, and also as i'm on my own sometimes DS needs a male voice to be firmer than mine.

either that or I jsut can't accept i'm 26 and have a 2.8 year old instead of an 18 year old I think I am in my head!

SpandexIsMyEnemy Mon 03-Nov-08 21:18:20

just me then.

meandmyjoe Mon 03-Nov-08 21:39:47

Bumping! I do know what you're saying but my ds is a little too young for me to know exactly how it will pan out! I have a friend who feels this about her 3 year old. It's a nice relationship in a way though, means you don't always have to be the 'bad guy' and can just enjoy being their friend. Not sure if it will cause problems in the future though, he doesn't really respect anything my friend says and just treats her like his big sister or a baby sitter, he only behaves when his nanna/ grandad tells him off but he spends a lot of time with them.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Mon 03-Nov-08 21:50:22

thanks for your input.

see he does respect what I say (or do as I say) - esp when I use my very cross mummy voice. He's the same with my mum as he is with me. it's just a male voice he tends to jump to when he hears it tbh. maybe we spend too much time together? (he doesn't usually go with my folks unless i'm there does sometimes but not always)

I guess it's mostly as we play, and laugh, is it sad for your best bud to be your 2.8 year old? lol. he's quite cool for a boy I guess. I do teach him cooking n painting house work etc.

maybe I need to work on better tactics getting him to listen/me talking? - althou I do feel even thou he's only small and a child that I shouldn't demand his respect, it should be something he doesn't give thru fear. iycwim.

meandmyjoe Mon 03-Nov-08 21:58:21

I totally agree with you, he will learn to respect you by trusting you and wanting to play with you. No need to shout and scream, that doesn't really gain respect although he may obey it. Sounds like you are doing a great job and actually have a lovely balance between being mummy but also his friend who as he gets older he'll really appreciate. It's great that you have such a good relationship. I think a lot of boys in particular tend to listen to male voices rather than females. (I wrote about it for my dissertation actually, it's true!)

It's not sad at all, it sounds like you really enjoy him and thats so nice to hear about!

SpandexIsMyEnemy Tue 04-Nov-08 08:36:12


I've jsut had a look at your profile, my DS is also Joseph, I've just started a degree course, to do full uni when he's in school. Joseph's are fab little boys!

this am he woke up and said 'missed you mummy! ' lol.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Tue 04-Nov-08 14:57:39

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