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help for a mammy with and expert dawdler?

(18 Posts)
vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 12:14:48

Hello! My DS1, aged 4, has perfected the art of dawdling and HOW TO IGNORE IT? He does it to drive me mad and it works! I do try ignoring him but, he's so slow most of the time it just festers away inside and eventually I lose it. Any ideas?

suzywong Fri 11-Mar-05 12:16:42

it's very very hard isn't it?
Mine is nearly four and I think he's getting the hang of dawdling

I just have to remind myself that he is, as a small boy, duty bound to have a phase of it and really can't help himself most of the time.

Sorry I can't offer any advice

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 12:23:48

Yes, you sound very patient Suzywong...I lose it with him because he is really an expert at pushing my buttons in general and sometimes I feel a total failure. My DS2 is 10 months younger and things are so much easier with him and it makes me feel so guilty that DS1's little quirks, like his dawdling, get to me so much.

SoupDragon Fri 11-Mar-05 12:27:04

What does he dawdle over? Everything or just walking places?

Keane Fri 11-Mar-05 12:27:42

my son is like this, but nowadays he takes a ride on digger or bike out with him. Much quicker!

suzywong Fri 11-Mar-05 12:29:52

bloody hell I am anything but! I snarl at him regularly especially when he's getting in or out of the car

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 12:30:53

Hello Soupdragon, well, let's see...getting dressed/undressed ,brushing teeth, eating....if he sees I'm there watching or helping his brother he does it.

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 12:32:47

Surprisingly enough, getting into the car he's quick at (loves the car) and he's a great walker,'s the everyday home routine he wants to be slow at.

SoupDragon Fri 11-Mar-05 12:33:40

I turn things into competitions which seems to ignite my DSs (6 & 4) into moving faster with whatever they're doing. "Bet you can't get dressed before I've got DS2 dressed" or "who can get to that lamp post first?" or "If you finish that before the timer goes off you can have chocolate"

Keane Fri 11-Mar-05 12:37:56

sorry didnt realise it was with everything

I tend to make it into a competition too, but they are stubborn little so and so's sometimes

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 12:38:42

Yes, good idea....only thing, don't they get upset if they're not FIRST? We haven't tried this yet and even so, we notice being first is so important...especially for DS1. In the morning we use 'beans' to motivate them (aren't they darling, they love winning a dried bean) but, the minute all the beans have been's back to dawdling. One day DS2 was first in the bathroom and DS2 didn't even try for his bean!

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 12:40:49

I meant DS1 didn't try for his bean

SoupDragon Fri 11-Mar-05 12:56:43

It's all about manipulating the little sods.. I mean darlings. Ahem.

If they're not first with one thing, there's always a chance to win at the next thing (eg DS2 always wins at getting dressed because I'm helping him but DS1 wins at anything that needs running because his legs are longer.) Yes, they get upset at not winning but that's life Oh I'm so evil!

Actually that's where competing against a timer is good because both can win.

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 13:04:48

Yes! Manipulation alright....but, who's manipulating who? It looks as if DS1 has me just where he wants in managing to get to me.

I do use an egg timer every morning and guess what? DS1 tends to look more at what his brother's doing than at the timer (very competitive poor boy).

SoupDragon Fri 11-Mar-05 13:47:49

hehehehe. It's a nightmare isn't it? I also go down the "I dont care" route whereby if the "thing" isn't done by the specified time, it's not done - so if tea isn't eaten in time it's taken away, if they're not ready to go out we go in whatever they're wearing, if teeth aren't cleaned in time I start the bedtime story without them etc etc

I also shout thngs like "Just GET IN THE CAR" regularly when we're running late, leaving a pause for a mental expletive before car. Sometimes only shouting will work. My methods aren't perfect by any means.

suzywong Fri 11-Mar-05 13:52:33

oh I'm a regular user of "get in the (phrughint) car"

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 14:16:29

Absolutely! You seem to have a knack!! Natural consequences....or logical ones, I am going to have a think on how to outsmart DS1. Thanks!

vigobay Fri 11-Mar-05 14:17:54

Oh, I just laughed. I say 'flipping' 'flippers' and 'flip' all the time.

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