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3 year old dd never wants mummy, only daddy - help!

(8 Posts)
Kathyis6incheshigh Thu 30-Oct-08 13:52:07

She's always been close to her father, which is nice.... except that now she's just getting really extreme about it.
I work away 3 days a week and I am sure it is related to this. But what can I dooooooo?

We have a few things that we do together like cooking and going to museums, so occasionally we do get to bond, but that doesn't help with the day to day stuff.

I tried to talk to her about it but all she said was 'I don't like you, Mummy, because you have got spots.' Well, she is only three.....

mrsgboring Thu 30-Oct-08 13:58:22

Have you had the MN what to expect as your child turns 3 email? In it it says they can develop romantic attachment to the opposite sex partner at this age. Sounds to me like she fancies your DH/P - it's not personal to you.

(And my DS will make up any reason in the world why his decision is the right one. "I don't want to go swimming mummy because the pool is on fire and there are dogs in it." etc. So the spots comment strikes a chord there)

Kathyis6incheshigh Thu 30-Oct-08 14:00:32

I sort of know it's not personal, though it feels that way - I have to keep muttering shesonlythree shesonlythree shesonlythree....
LOL @ your ds and 'the pool is on fire'.

choosyfloosy Thu 30-Oct-08 14:01:06

What can you do...?

... can I suggest, call to your partner 'Love, she wants you,' go and put the kettle on and your feet up?

TBH I really, really don't think this has anything to do with external jobs on no days, 3 days or 7 days a week. This is what 3-year-olds do.

And remember to tell her that you LOVE your spots and would she like you to draw some on her, and advance with a red marker pen - cue giggles and screaming!

Acinonyx Thu 30-Oct-08 14:04:31

Dd has always shown a preference for dh hmm

Sometimes it's more even and sometimes it's very strong and quite distressing. I think dh is more fun and frolics, and I have tried to be a more 'fun' parent within my abilities - I think it has helped.

I do think dd generally prefers male attention hmm and sometimes does soemthing I can only describe as 'flirting' shock

gingerninja Thu 30-Oct-08 14:05:51

My DD is 2 and has been like this since I went back to work 3 days per week when she was one. I feel utterly rejected (childish I know) most of the time, especially if she's hurt herself and screams if I go near her because she only wants Daddy. If he is at work we are fine together but when he's home only he will do.

Thing is, my DH works 5 days so it can't be directly related to working as technically he spends less time with her than I do. I do sometimes wonder if it's a quality time thing as he spends more time playing with her and appeasing her whereas I do the domestic stuff and am more strict.

No answers 'fraid just similar face

Kathyis6incheshigh Thu 30-Oct-08 14:09:30

Choosy that sounds very sensible. The trouble is that if I do that dh gets hugely grumpy because he has to do everything for her in the 3 days when I am away. It's sort of part of the deal of him putting up with me working away that I have to make his life easier when I am here.

I do love the spots idea....

Interesting that it seems to be independent of how much time is spent at home.

Kathyis6incheshigh Thu 30-Oct-08 14:35:09

Oh also, dh is not noticeably more the 'fun' one than I am - we both take our turn at the domestic stuff so there isn't that division of labour.
But I suppose I am wasting my time looking for a cause.

Ginger/Acinonyx - I feel your pain....

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