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How can I make halloween fun for my daughter without causing offence to my husbands family ??

(38 Posts)
mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:28:46

My daughter is 3.5 and I'd really like to dress her up for halloween and do some fun things with her, like calving a pumpkin etc.
My husbands family are christians and don't agree with halloween at all. They think it should be banned. grin I don't really agree with the idea of it either to be honest, but have very fond memories of dressing up and making spooky cakes etc.
They do like a bit of fun though, and would love to spend time with my daughter doing somthing nice together.
I don't want to just dress her up at home, as there's no point. She absoluitly loves any sort of little party, but Grandma has to be invited.
Do you have any ideas, or should I just treat it as a normal day ?

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:42:04

Her nursey is catholic too, so it might not be appropriate to have a little party with some of her friends either.

donnie Wed 15-Oct-08 18:44:51

I'm confused: if you don't like it, your dp doesn't like it and the nursery and all other relatives don't like it you have answered your own question. She's only 3 yrs old - it's won't be like you are banning Christmas or anything.

bubblagirl Wed 15-Oct-08 18:45:36

could you have a little tea with family and get her to make biscuits and she can dress up and do a pumpkin im sure they can handle having tea and biscuits with a theme

i dont agree with trick or ttreating but children love to dress up and have fun so just go with that rather than calling it a halloween party

purplesponge Wed 15-Oct-08 18:50:10

Why not have an anti-halloween party? Lots of pink and glitter and sparkly stuff, butterflies, rainbows, you get the idea. You could, if you really wanted, have a pumpkin but carve stars or something into it. You could have just as much fun baking cakes etc.. but avoid the whole upsetting the family problem.

Kif Wed 15-Oct-08 18:52:01

why not just have an 'autumn party' or 'nature day' or 'harvest festival thing' .

You can mash in any traditions you like. Eg, carve stars in pumpkins , make necklaces out of acorns, make little men out of acorns, play conkers have hot mulled wine tasting drink, dress up as autumn faries with leaves glued to a dress etc etc

purplesponge Wed 15-Oct-08 18:52:54

sorry, that was quite sexist of me to assume all the pink stuff, your dd might hate pink!

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:53:13

donnie- It's just the idea of it I'm not keen on, when you think of it.
I also think some nursery rhymes are awful, when you thik about the words but I still sing them to her.
I just remember as a child dressing up as a witch and having a party with really traditional games. I loved it.
I would like somthing fun to do with her during the half term, and a theamed party would be great.

sameagain Wed 15-Oct-08 18:55:02

At my kids church club, they carve pumpkins with crosses rather than scary faces.

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:55:15

Oh no, my daughter loves pink with a passion. grin

Kif Wed 15-Oct-08 18:56:18

If you wanted to suck up to your husbands family, you could recall that halloween stems from all hallows eve - all saints day . so you could read saint stories, make a cards with coloured in or decorated pictures of peoples name saints .

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:58:46

Thanks everyone, I love the idea of an anti halloween party and and autunm party etc.
That way, she's not left out.

AbbeyA Wed 15-Oct-08 18:58:57

As she is so young she won't miss anything-treat it as a normal day. We are going away to escape it!

meandmyjoe Wed 15-Oct-08 19:06:44

I don't like trick or treating either, a very bad idea to warn kids about the dangers of strangers but then one night a year actively encourage them to go knocking on people's doors begging....... rant over! I'm not sure if a 3 year old will really understand what halloween is. I guess just a pumpkin to calve would be OK, just tell dp's family that you fancied pumpkin pie!

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 19:08:02

does anyone know how to make pumpkin soup ? smile

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 19:12:04

I know, the trick or treating is really bad. Children often use it as an excuse to terrorise the elderly too. sad
We can't open the door to them, as our daughter would be terrefied.

HolidaysQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 19:17:32

pumpkin soup - if you have a butternut squash recipe just replace the squash with the pumpkin

a couple of years ago we did an autumn party at the brownie pack where i help out as it's affiliated to a church which doesn't like halloween. we did things like leaf rubbings, guess what was hidden in the box (blindfolded the girls while they stuck their hand in a shoe box containing autumnal things like conkers, leaves etc. and then blindfolded the girls). We still did bobbing for apples and a couple of the other halloween type games.

Starshiptrooper Wed 15-Oct-08 19:18:49

In Mexico, which is a very, very Catholic country, they go in for Halloween in a big way and it's part of their religious calandar (all hallows etc.). It goes on for days and it's about remembering your ancestors/dead relatives. They do all the dressing up stuff too. However, I agree that if it's going to offend your folks, then you should play it low key.

Tortington Wed 15-Oct-08 19:21:24

i'm catholic and i do it

some things just need perspective

seriously - tough titties - would be my standpoint.

if they don't like it - good for them - they dont have to do it

if you don't subscibe to that POV then don't


Tortington Wed 15-Oct-08 19:22:20

see the thing is - i dont like penny for the guy - a catholic thing

i dont - i hate burnign the guy etc. have never done it, my kids don't do it its not part of our family culture


HolidaysQueen Wed 15-Oct-08 19:22:39

Whoops - we didn't blindfold the girls twice blush

pointygravedogger Wed 15-Oct-08 19:28:28

Just decide what you want to do. Why would you invite grandma to a hallowe'en party if she doesn't like hallowe'en?

It's more the strict preotestant branches of Christianity that purse their lips at hallowe'en, if it not, rathre than the fun loving catholics?

pointygravedogger Wed 15-Oct-08 19:31:07

Continuing to celebrate the burning of a catholic in teh 21st century is rather odd. I never hear a big outcry about that on religious grounds.

A guy on a Council bonfire near us was wearing a Celtic top once hmm

Starshiptrooper Wed 15-Oct-08 19:32:31

Custardo, are you saying penny for the guy is a catholic thing or isn't just out of interest? I thought you weren't supposed to do it if Catholic because Guy Fawkes was Catholic? At least I thought that's why my family didn't do it, but I could be wrong.

mummyloveslucy Wed 15-Oct-08 19:33:40

Sounds great fun holidaysqueen. I think an autunm party could be great. smile

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