2+yr old keeps pushin little brother over(8 Posts)
does anyone know how i should handle this please?
my lovely but excitable 2yr 4mth old daughter has recently begun to push over her nearly one year old brother. whenever i see (or hear) it happen i take her away from him, give him a quick cuddle (as he's nearly always crying), then tell her that she isn't to do it again and she must apologise. after a fashion she'll apologise, generally she prefers to just stroke his head, but i always hang on in there until she actually says the word sorry. however this doesn't seem to be stopping her from doing it again.
i mentioned it to my childminder who says that when she'd seen it it was nearly always a game that my ds was complicit in, that had gotten out of hand. however yesterday she told my husband that she felt we needed to develop a strategy, which she will follow also, to deal with it as my dd had pushed my lo over many times during the day.
i haven't a clue how to deal with this beyond what i've been doing. when i explain to my dd why she shouldn't push her brother over, she seems to understand and agrees she shouldn't do it, but then goes and does it again 10 minutes later. it's only really started since he's been properly walking but i need to nip it in the bud. can anyone advise please?
Someone else posted the other day about their older DC pushing the younger one over once they started walking, so that they would still be a "baby who lies down". I don't know how much your DD understands, but maybe it would be helpful to explain to her that DS will be growing up, and starting to do new things, which will be exciting, but that she'll always be the big sister, and be able to do thing he can't yet?
Been there, got the t-shirt! DD was given one warning and then sent to her room (or put into the hall for 2 mins).
I had to nip it in the bud as she progressed from pushing her brother over to pushing babies at toddler group.
She rarely does it these days!
ds1 (2.7) is doing this to ds2 (9 months) at the moment....
I give ds1 a warning and if he does this again then he goes to the naughty corner and then must say sorry to his brother....
This has been going on for a couple of months though and has got worse since ds2 can crawl and stand...I guess you just have to be consistent and they they will eventually learn that this is unacceptable behaviour
Ok, right now, when she pushes her brother over she gets LOADS of attention! You tell her off (attention) ages cajole her into saying 'sorry' (lots of attention) then stand over her while she does so or strokes his head (more attention) and then I bet you are very approving of her cute saying sorry, and maybe give her a kiss and cuddle or at least a beaming smile (lots of really lovely positive attention). I honestly think that's a huge mistake. Instead the minute she pushes, instantly pick her up with no eye contact, say calming, 'no pushing' and put her out of the room/on the stair/on the otherside of the stair gate for a minute or two with no interaction whatsoever. Then go back to normal, maybe repeating 'no pushing'. Don't do all the 'say sorry' stuff as it means nothing to her yet, certainly means nothing to your baby, and is just give her the attention she, and all normal two year olds crave. Watch her like a hawk to try and intercept any moves towards pushing, and praise her to the skies every minute she interacts whith her brother without pushing him. Don't tell her that her brother is nice and she should love him, instead tell her that her brother thinks she is wonderful, and that he loves her more than anyone else etc.
cripes this parenting stuff is so hard! i don't really understand why she would be looking for attention now that rather than when he first came along??
i'll have a try at the short sharp approach as i don't much like the idea of the naughty step and the trauma that seems to accompany it. i have once or twice simply picked her up and plonked her elsewhere, while i deal with the crying of the lo, which just brings on loads of crying from her, but then have gone down the route of getting an apology. you are of course bang on that i then give her a big cuddle and say 'good girl' etc, so maybe have been reinforcing her behaviour allbeit inadvertently
She's probably more 'threatened' by a walking, interactive child than by a little passive baby. Short and sharp, that's the way! Good luck!
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