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20mo DS hitting other kids over the head with toys

(10 Posts)
Jacksmybaby Sun 12-Oct-08 17:12:55

Whenever he is frustrated or in pain (teething) - so quite a lot of the time, he lashes out. Occasionally does it to me or DS but mostly seems to pick on other kids, usually ones smaller than him, and smack them in the face/head, either with his hand or, if he's holding an object, with whatever he's holding. Starting to feel the invitations to coffee at other mums' houses are going to dry up as it's really embarrassing/stressful when he attacks their kids! blush
So far have just been saying no, very sternly, taking away whatever object he's been hitting with, telling him it's naughty to hit etc. I thnk he's too young really for anything like time out/naughty step etc. And there's no point threatening to go home because I think he'd be quite happy with that and it would be me who'd miss out! I don't think it helps that he's the biggest and strongest in the group of mums and toddlers that we hang out with. Maybe he needs to mix with some older children??
Any tips or empathy please?!

BoysAreLikeZombies Sun 12-Oct-08 17:15:35

Empathy - a bucket load for you.

The key here is be close at hand and be ready to intervene in a flash to prevent the lash-out; bear in mind that some times he will succeed.

Be ready to continuously move him away from the other child.

Remember, tis a stage and will pass eventually.

Good luck.

cory Sun 12-Oct-08 17:17:45

Damage limitation, damage limitation. As Boys says hover close at hand and be prepared to lift him away. Apologise to other parents. Have patience, they grow out of it.

Jacksmybaby Sun 12-Oct-08 17:21:05

Thank u.
Am mortified to think that other parents might be thinking "he must have learnt that violent behaviour from his parents"!!
My mum said, give him a little smack, but how would that work - "hitting is naughty - but I'm going to do it to you"!! (And in any case feel strongly about not smacking anyway but that's another thread.)

BoysAreLikeZombies Sun 12-Oct-08 17:22:36

Quite right, no need to smack, we are more aware of other strategies nowadays, plus he is still a baby.

smile

singingtree Sun 12-Oct-08 19:05:40

I'm in the same boat with my 21 month old, I watch him like a hawk, get him away from the child he has hit immediately and if he keeps doing it we leave - not really because he will make the connection, he is too little, but because I find it quite stressful.

Jacksmybaby Sun 12-Oct-08 19:38:23

Empathy to you too then singingtree! smile

cory Sun 12-Oct-08 19:50:48

It will pass, it will pass. Dd (turning 12 next month) no longer steps up to total strangers in the street and sinks her teeth into them grin

Jacksmybaby Tue 14-Oct-08 20:38:39

OMG what a horrible day. Had to leave M&T group early in disgrace after an incident involving a (metal) frying pan from a toy kitchen set being used as a weapon. blush
At least one of of the other mums saw I was a bit upset as leaving and came up to say not to worry about it and it's all perfectly normal toddler behaviour.

deaconblue Tue 14-Oct-08 20:47:15

lots of empathy, if you have a look you'll find lots of threads from me about this during the pas 6 months. Sadly in our case the phase has lasted a long time, but I keep hoping it won't be much longer before the whacking ends. Seems even worse when they hit with a weapon (my son hit a little girl with a toy iron the other day, I felt so awful). Ds also much bigger than most children his age.

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