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Really worried about dd1 now :-(

(43 Posts)
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 11-Oct-08 21:15:46

She has stopped eating again. She has eaten virtually nothing this week, she looks really ill because of it.

She was sat with her dad nipping the tops of her legs. He asked what she was doing and she said "I'm trying to feel my bones but I can't feel them yet" shock

We explained to her that you aren't meant to feel bones in the tops of your legs because you should have muscle there. I told her i she wants to be a dancer (she does) she will need lots of muscle in her legs. When I ask her why she wants to feel bone in her legs she doesn't want to talk about it.

She wouldn't eat her chips tonight because they are "not healthy for you" she ate half a chicken breast with a struggle and some broccoli. She had no dinner and a bit of gammon steak for breakfast. Thats all she's had today.

How worried should I be that she seems to be actually trying to lose weight so that she can feel bones? She is 5. Can 5 year olds be anorexic?

CarGirl Sat 11-Oct-08 21:17:12

I think in rare cases yes they can? Has she had any assessments until the Ed psyc?

Lizzylou Sat 11-Oct-08 21:23:01

Oh gosh.
How worrying for you.
If it helps, my boys (4.5 and 2.5) keep talking about "fat tummies" and not eating sweets/cake because it makes you fat. Have no idea where this is coming from, certainly not in our house.

CarGirl Sat 11-Oct-08 21:24:40

They go on and on and on about it at school, drives me mad.

dinny Sat 11-Oct-08 21:25:27

oh, how worrying - I don't know what to suggest except GP?

my dd too, LL - it's from school, she continually asks if food is healthy

Lizzylou Sat 11-Oct-08 21:27:16

Aaaah, school has a lot to answer for, ffs it's only been a few weeks!

Twiglett Sat 11-Oct-08 21:27:32

Im sorry but I would be extremely worried about this ... I think you need professional help.

Plonker Sat 11-Oct-08 21:28:50

Oh dear - how very worrying for you sad

My dd2 (also aged 5) does talk about the fact that she has a fat tummy and asks why (all the time!). We tell her that its because she is young and that it will go as she grows. She now has a younger sister who has a very fat belly which has made her less bothered by it.

In your shoes i think i would look to get outside help for your dd. Maybe just speak to HV or GP and take it from there? Sorry i'm not exactly sure where you should start really, but i do think its important to get a professional opinion.

Best of luck to you all.

witcheseve Sat 11-Oct-08 21:32:07

I think the guidelines for healthy eating in schools and TV etc is storing up trouble for our children. It's being drummed into them from all angles including parents. Eating disorders will be on the increase. I can see it happening already.

Sorry this doesn't help you. You need to take control of it now. How you do this I'm not sure except to talk to her about how not eating will make her sick not fat.

dinny Sat 11-Oct-08 21:33:03

totally agree witcheseve, they are so body aware at a ridiculously young age

dd already talks about skinny being best etc

NotBigNotClever Sat 11-Oct-08 21:34:12

Is this the same child who has trouble getting up in the morning to go to school? Hmm, I would be v. worried and consult the GP. The earlier you deal with these kinds of probs, the easier they are to treat. It is not unknown for very young girls to develop EDs these days.

luckylady74 Sat 11-Oct-08 21:35:59

school nurse might be good, tbh I'd be at the gp staight away.

BBBee Sat 11-Oct-08 21:39:25

i think you should go to your gp and ask for a referral to CAHMS or ask the school to get the psychologist to see her

witcheseve Sat 11-Oct-08 21:47:21

There was a programme on TV last week about anorexia. A nine year old was suffering from it. She recovered at the clinic, hopefully she is OK now.

I have the opposite concerns with DD she has always loved her food and is a little plump at 14. 10 years ago we had non of this healthy eating propaganda. It was crisps, sweet and juice not rice cake, fruit and water. I feel awful trying to restrict her diet now and although I try not to she has told me I'm always on about it. sad.

Her teen friends are very aware and want to look as skinny as possible so although DD is not quite overweight it magnifies it. IYSWIM.

I hope you can get some help and your DD's health will improve. It's a fine line.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 11-Oct-08 22:05:49

Yeah I saw that programme. It is from the school. She stopped eating sauasges because they were 'bad' when she was at nursery. The nutrionist had told me to get her to eat them as much as possible because she was underweight, she has always been underweight but we were discharged from the pead about 6 months ago because she got within half a stone of her ideal weight. She has now lost 2 lb.

I think I will take her to the gp and get refered again. And insist that we see a psychologist this time. Its one thing telling me what to feed her it's another thing getting her to eat it.

It must be from school because she has a thing about chicken fillets atm. They are very healthy. She has never been fussed on chicken before.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 11-Oct-08 22:14:52

Should I be pushing her to talk about it? Or will that make it worse?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 12-Oct-08 00:09:28

.

Lauriefairycake Sun 12-Oct-08 00:48:04

I wouldn't make a big deal of it or get her to talk about it or draw too much attention to it while she's this young - my response would be different if she was older. I would just be saying something like how yummy the food is, eating with her at mealtimes etc

As she's so young you can get away with padding food out more, breading the chicken, grated cheese on the broccoli, having healthy fruit crumble wink with custard.

Are you monitoring what she's eating at school? How did you know she's lost weight?

Lauriefairycake Sun 12-Oct-08 00:53:09

and yes, seeing a psychologist is a great idea - I hadn't read the bit where you said she had problems before in keeping weight on. This may also be to do with attention, she can pick up on the fact you are worried about her and I bet she got plenty of attention when she was at the nutritionist.

If it is to do with that then obviously find good ways to give her lots of attention (I'm sure you're doing this) like promoting her dancing, dancing with her etc.

Maybe instead of taking her first see the psychologist without her to get some strategies on how to approach this.?

actually, scratch that, they will know whether to bring her or not or when the best time to intervene is.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 12-Oct-08 02:15:12

She was 2st7lb when we were dischared we have been weighing her on my nan's v reliable weight watchers sacles which have been v consistant with her. She git to 2st8lb and now she has dropped to 2st6lb on the ww scales and tesco's new scales.

I do add extra things and always have done. She has never ate a great volume of food but has been having hhigh quality high fat foods. She is just not eating enough of them atm and her 'good foods' list seems to have been reduced to apples, water and chicken sad

I really don't know what to do with her anymore sad

shellye Sun 12-Oct-08 10:43:08

How about getting her to help you in the kitchen.Lots of family meals sat round the table. Lots of baking sessions. You can still hide veg in foods like spaghetti bolognese and chilli. Always go for full fat milk and yoghurts.
You need to be a bit careful not to make too much of an issue out of food as it is the one thing kids can easily use as a control thing. I would get some advice without her present actually.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 12-Oct-08 15:35:12

We do lots of baking. The next thing she wants to bake is an apple pie <sigh> I'm sure she will eat the apples and leave the pastry. And she doesn't like cream anymore. She will have custard though which I always add a bit of cream to. She must think that custard is healthy because they have it at school.

I have even offered to start cooking things off her school meal menu. She says she doesn't eat the anyway. She eats some of her sandwhich with salad and doesn't like it when they make her pick which potatos she wants because she doesn't want potatos. She never picks the cooked stuff.

I stuffed her chicken breast with cheese last night and wrapped it in streaky bacon <i told her it was chicken skin>. But there aren't many things that can pretend to be chicken or apples hmm

TheArmadillo Sun 12-Oct-08 15:42:16

This sounds very worrying.

I would go to gps and ask for referral.

Could you speak to the school as well? See what has been going on there.

You must be so worried.

shellye Sun 12-Oct-08 15:46:33

What are your own thoughts on dieting/ healthy eating. Has she picked anything up from you.My DD is nearly 5 and we are very aware of these issues. We are both in the medical profession. Children of this age pick up on issues from parents first and foremost. Are you a fussy eater? Are you constantly on a diet? I think this should be nipped in the bud now before it gets out of hand.She needs to see you enjoying food. Not seeing any issues at home regarding dieting.If a child eats a balanced healthy diet with occassional treats weight should not be an issue.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 12-Oct-08 15:48:37

I'm going to have a word with the school tommorrow and perhaps ask to see the head or have a meeting after school with her teacher.

I'm not sure how to approach it though. If they are doing healthy eating do I ask for dd1 to be discluded from it? The blanket approach that they teach isn't suitable for her. She needs 'bad things' in her diet because she doesn't eat enough. And she seems to be taking it really seriously. She did eat half a mars bar this morning though.

I know that it is not the schools fault. They are only teaching what they are told to teach and most children probably could do without chips but dd1 needs a high fat diet. I'm not comfortable with them teaching her that certain foods are bad either, we don't have bads foods. We have foods that are very good for you and foods that aren't as good for you. No food is banned or 'bad'.

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