Please help!

[Millsie1]

Excuse this rather long-winded message, but I am in an absolute pickle!

First of all, I live abroad and my husband - due to world financial collapse (!) - has to work all hours, so if this message sounds a bit melodramatic it's because I haven't slept since Monday. Oh for a Mum or a sister nearby...

I have a gorgeous daughter who is now 2 1/2 weeks old. She has always, from day one, been a bit fractious and cried a lot (I have no frame of reference, but the midwives in the hospital said that it was "a lot").

What I would LOVE is a few hints on how to deal with my issues (below), but most of all reassurance that I am not the only one who is/has experienced them (or SHE is not the only one!) as I feel extremely isolated here with no family support or help! I am desperately worried that I am doing it all wrong. I have tried reading various childcare books, but the advice seems all conflicting and I don't seem to be able to get HER to read them!!!!! It's all very well not feeding her too often...but what if she screams?? I feel so horrible trying to make her last longer between feeds!

Right! The issues are:

• her poo has gone from mustard colour to greeny mustard colour. Is this normal? All the books say yellow...nothing about army green!!!

• she totally WILL NOT SLEEP in the night. Particularly between 2 and 7am. This is obviously quite exhausting for both of us, but what worries me is that she kicks and punches and looks like she is in awful pain during this time. She doesn't sleep well during the day either, but this time in the early morning she is particularly fractious.

• I can't get her to settle on her own at all. She only falls asleep if I am lying down with her and she is feeding. Sometimes!

Once again, apologies for long message but I am at my wits' end and so worried that I am doing something wrong and that she is deeply unhappy.

[MurderAtTheDiscoDizzy]

Sorry you're having a tough time. Unfortunately I cannot help except that i'm sure DD's poo did turn green at some point. Which country are you in, do you have health visitors that you can refer to?

[ksld]

Sorry you are finding it tough - but you are definitely not alone. It IS hard, your body is exhausted after the birth, you are shattered from not sleeping yourself, everything feels worse in the middle of the night on your own.
Issue 1 - the poo sounds pretty normal - can be any colour on the brown spectrum really - yellowish to greenish.
Issue 2 - have you read about babies having night and day mixed up? This 2-7 am may just be her natural waking time. The kicking and punching may just be her arms and legs waving out of her control, and crying at this time of night when you are tired may seem like pain, but is actually just her wanting to be awake.
Issue 3 - for now stop worrying about getting her to settle on her own - she's tiny. Sleep with her whatever time of day it is. Just get the sleep you need with her, and give yourselves some time to get used to each other before you start trying to get her to settle alone. Don't worry about fostering bad habits yet - I would start trying to get her to settle alone in a few months when you understand her better, and have adapted to being a Mum better.
I am sure you are doing a fabulous job, believe in yourself!

[Millsie1]

Am in Switzerland - I do get occasional visits from a midwife, but the language barrier is proving to be a problem. The healthcare system here is phenomenal and I'm sure if she were ill there'd be no better place...it's just reassurance and advice that I lack.

[HauntedHouseMate]

Are you bf or ff? I remember being told that ff that was too hot could cause green poo. If bf that can't be it - it's always the right temp!

Where is she sleeping? If in a cot is it next to you or what? My dd needed reassurance in the night and I got the best sleep when she was next to me (cot attached to bed, me reaching over patting her back). Have you considered Co-Sleeping?

Arms and legs waving, agree with LL, try bicycling her legs. Could she just be full of wind - ff babies need more winding than bf babies. If not windy have you tried swaddling? Again with my dd she needed to be held pretty tightly to be happy (something to do with being tightly bound in the womb, now their limbs moving scare them!)

I wouldn't worry to much about trying to settle her on her own - 2 weeks is pretty bloody early for that, dont worry. Is she calm if cuddled, rocked, patted etc? At this stage I would just do whatever works to settle her to be honest. Dd liked to be rocked side to side, so I did, and she slept. Ok at 6 months I then had to teach her to settle, but by then we were all sleeping better, so it wasn't so much of a pain. I also sang, loads. When I could feel myself getting frustrated with dd I sang, because I knew she picked up on how I was feeling - it's hard to be tense signing 'Mockingbird' over and over

hope some of this helps