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here I am again worrying about ds (2 1/2) and whacking. Does htis sound "normal" to you?

(11 Posts)
deaconblue Fri 10-Oct-08 09:18:39

We've seen an improvement in that he no longer whacks kids he knows (so at nursery, toddler group and with his little friend much better)but he is so horrible to other children I'm getting to the point I don't dare take him to public places.
He seems to believe everything belongs to him so at the park yesterday he pushed and whacked a boy who wanted to get on the train he was on. then i was invited to someone's for coffee, within 30 mins he'd hit her dd with a toy and was trying to hit her 7 month old because he crawled near a toy ds was playing with. I'm trying to make friends in a new area and he just hits their children.
it all seems to be linked with super possessiveness.
so normal or I'm starting to panic - behavioural "problems"?

LilRedWG Fri 10-Oct-08 09:23:47

Have you ever read the Eight Rules of Toddler Play?

1. If I like it - it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand - it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you - it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago - it's mine.
5. If it's mine it must never appear to be yours in any way, shape or form.
6. If I am doing or building something - all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine - it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine - it's mine.

My friend's little boy sounds exactly the same as your DS. In a thirty minute trip to the park the other day he kicked DD, pushed her and threw play bark at her. I don't class him as having behavioural issues. I think he's just a toddler.

HTH reassure you.

cory Fri 10-Oct-08 09:58:56

Normal, normal, normal.

All you can do is damage limitation and you will be doing a lot of that over the next few months. Be prepared to lift him away before he can get into the swing of it (so so speak), apologise sweetly to the other parent, show them you're distressed (or fake distress!), make a big fuss of the other child. And mutter the magic mantra: This too will pass.

It will- honestly! Dd was a little terror, but she is quite civilised now.

mppaw Fri 10-Oct-08 10:27:01

Maybe it is a phase and will pass, but he needs to be told that it is not acceptable to whack others, do you discipline him or tell him off ?

mummyplonk Fri 10-Oct-08 10:37:28

LOL Lilregwig, never heard that before, who says toddlers are unreasonable? Nice to have an insight into their thinking. smile

LadySanders Fri 10-Oct-08 10:41:19

it may well be normal but i do think you have to keep on top of it and keep telling him over and over and over again, every time it happens, that its unacceptable, and giving an appropriate punishment each time, take him out of the room or something, so that he gets the message.

mppaw Fri 10-Oct-08 11:53:48

Totally agree LadySanders.
Have seen 1 child who took up whacking at an early age, mother never took any measures to curb it, the poor children he whacks now whack back, so he now targets children smaller then him, even babies that are weeks old !!
If the OP is trying to make new friends aswell, she must be seen to be tackling this problem otherwise other mums will not want to be around her and her LO.
Sorry to sound harsh.

Eniddo Fri 10-Oct-08 11:56:37

yes is normal

but you MUST try and discipline him out of it

dd3 bit other children for a while at 2

she did grow uot of it and I knew it was a phase but was very firm every time she did it, even leaving a playdate on one occasion.

I wouldn't want a whacker around dd3 either I'm afraid sad

uberalice Fri 10-Oct-08 12:04:47

What Eniddo says. I know it sounds harsh, but at that age, I'd give 3 warnings and if DS continued to smack, we'd go straight home.

mppaw Fri 10-Oct-08 12:07:46

Shoppingbags, what do you think would happen if you did threaten to leave where you were ? Would your LO be quite happy with that ?

deaconblue Fri 10-Oct-08 12:22:24

What I do is if I see him about to whack I try to divert him or if not possible I warn him "if you smack you will have to sit on your bottom". If I miss the cues and he's already hit someone I immediately take him away from toys and child and he has to sit on his bottom for 2 minsutes. He then has to say sorry (although tbh that is for the other parent's benefit as I'm sure he's not always sorry)
We left soon after he tried to hit the little boy but to be honest he was pleased to go, isn't at all bothered about playing with other children, other than his friend James who he knows really well.

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