Any discipline ideas for dd2? She's 22 months old.

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

I'm going to put this in perspective. She's fairly well behaved but when we have to tell her to stop doing something, she completely ignores us. She doesn't respond to a stern voice or a stern look.

What can we do?

I tried putting her in a corner today as she pinched her sister, I told her that pinching was naughty.

Maybe it's my fault as I'm comparing her to dd1. She was very responsive to a simple "no" when she was this age.

I would love a bit of advice and shared experiences.

[UmMwahahahaaaaa]

Tell her what she can do.

Give (very simple) consequences - "you need to stop drawing on the table or i will take crayons away" or "you need to stop kicking me or I will walk away" then praise or follow your consequence through.

Mind you, we are now going through a drawing-on-everything phase and I am tearing my hair out. She waits til we are not there and finds a rogue pencil...

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

Ah my 4 yo is drawing on everything now - she's obviously a late developer (or we hid the pencils until recently )

[nondomesticgoddess]

I threaten my 2yo dd with sitting in the hall on her own (time out) or, in severe circumstances, sitting in her brother's cot (I did that even when it was her cot). More often than not, the threat is enough to make her stop whatever she is doing.
If she does end up in time out or the cot, I leave her there for about 2 minutes and always 'discuss' with her why she was there. On a couple of occasions she has repeatedly misbehaved (and looked at me defiantly while doing so!) and ended up sitting in the cot 3 times. It does seem to always work in the end. I try very hard to stay calm (admittedly she is very good at pushing my buttons and my temper can flare!).
A stern voice or look has never worked with her.
Oh, and I try to go right up to her when I'm talking so she knows exactly what I'm saying.
With something like pinching, the first time I would just say no and explain that it hurts and get her to say sorry or cuddle her sister. I would only start the time out thing if she was doing it repeatedly.
I also try to encourage her by reminding her of the fun things we are doing that day. Eg, if she won't let me brush her hair, I just say 'Fine, well we can't go to X's house then'. Normally that is enough to get her running back!
I could go on - dd is high-spirited to say the least - my discipline of her is tested fairly frequently!

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

I'm glad it's not just my dd who doesn't respond to a stern voice.

I think she's only just beginning to understand the concept of consequences. I am consistent with them. No means no and I make sure I don't give out ridiculous punishments (unlike DHs threat to dd1 "you'll never see Postman Pat again" ) - I'm more likely to take away a toy they have been arguing over/using to hit one another for a day.

[neolara]

My dd didn't really get consequences until she was about 3 1/2. At that stage I found I could suddenly reason with her and what I said and did finally started to make a lasting difference. I did use brief time out from when she was about 2, but I used to put her in the next room, not a corner / naughty step. There was absolutely no way she would have stayed on a step. When younger, she also did not respond particularly well to my facial expressions and did not really seem to care if I was cross. She was also pretty impulsive and "spirited" (I think is the charitable way of putting it).

Most kids do not really develop a clear "theory of mind", where they understand that someone else can think and feel something different to them, until they are between 3 and 4. For my dd, I think she suddenly became much more responsive to consequences and to me looking and sounding cross when she reached this developmental milestone.

My ds is now 21 months and we are getting to the boundary testing stage. He totally does not repond to me telling him off. For him, distraction is still by far the best technique. It's bloody hard work though. You have my sympathy.

[Kaybeeand2boys]

My ds is 22 months also, and we have the same problem. Generally he is pretty good, but when he does things he knows he isn't allowed to do he just ignores us when we say No in a stern voice. Occasionally he has been a bit rough with ds2 (5mo) or thrown something at him, but am not really sure how to handle it..... It's tough huh!!

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

Maybe I've just forgotten what dd1 was like at that stage and it's unrealistic to expect dd2 to respond to discipline.

I must get my toddler taming book out.

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

Oh and many, many thanks for the sympathy! I find chocolate gets me through.

[UmMwahahahaaaaa]

No, dd was definitely much 'better behaved' at 21mths than now! Agree with lots of what neolara says - think they only get immediate consequences at this age (tried to say that we wouldn't go to the park because she had drawn on the walls - think she only got the link because we were literally about to go...). But I do think saying x will happen and it does makes them realise you mean what you say (so I stick to simple rather than big consequences you don't want/can't carry out - like the Postman Pat example!).

It's all an experiment though, what works for one may not work for another or even tomorrow. We are now trying to ignore her drawing on the walls and obv taking pens away - oh, we'll all get there

[UmMwahahahaaaaa]

and I second the chocolate .

[monkeymonkeymonkey]

So glad to see your post margo. I have a 20 month old who doesnt dare how stern my voice is, but seems too young for naughty step.
Glad it isnt just me!