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Does a clingy/fussy baby equal demanding toddler?

(18 Posts)
pamelat Wed 08-Oct-08 15:50:09

anyone know in their experience?

Or do you get the good bits later

My DD (9 months) is adorable but constantly challenges me. Of the 16 in the antenatal group (same ages), its always my DD and one other (same each time) that cry, need holding, scream if they are a fed a second too late etc etc.

I dont even mind her being a monkey (most of the time) but was wondering whether I had a tough 18 years in store!

Also, keen to have another soon and was wondering whether I'm due an easy baby?! If someone could consult their crystal ball please!

meandmyjoe Wed 08-Oct-08 20:37:47

My sister was a horrid baby but by 18 months was lovely, she got all the tantrum out the way early and was a great child and teenager. My ds was a grotty baby and is a grotty toddler too but miles easier than he was. He's only 14 months but I'm not holding my breath for him to suddenly become a smiley happy bundle of joy! I don't think there are any rules to be honest, you may find she's just frustrated as a baby and will become a lot easier as she gets older or she could always be a handful but either way it does get easier as they get more able to express themselves and you can teach them the desired behaviour.

pamelat Thu 09-Oct-08 07:50:18

Thanks meandmyjoe, she is already a thousand times better than she was at 3 or 4 months.

She seems generally frustrated in life. She isn't crawling (which is fine in my book!) but she gets very cross about not being mobile.

She is a joy with some things though. She is a great little eater for example!!

I completed that survey in the baby whisperer book and she came out spirited, rather than grumpy so I guess thats something!

meandmyjoe Sun 19-Oct-08 20:04:13

Oh yes my ds came out as grumpy sad!!! He too is miles better but still cries and flies off the handle over nothing. He is just very active and has a bad temper if he doesn't get his own way. He still seems very frustrated at not being able to communicate and cries truck loads compared to most his age but can also be lovely when it suits him!

IAteDavinaForDinner Sun 19-Oct-08 20:12:05

DS was a nightmare when he was little, didn't sleep well, needed carried everywhere, was constantly latched onto my boob, would only sleep with us etc.

Now he's 15 months he's quite keen to go to sleep (points at the cot and says "bed" when he's had his last BF!), wants to walk everywhere, and is very independent. In fact, he doesn't really like sleeping with us now, we often have to take him back to his cot at night after he's decided our bed isn't comfy enough!

He still wakes frequently and really isn't fun when he's teething but on the whole he's an absolute pleasure. I would never have believed he'd be such fun this time last year. He's changed so much, of his own accord, in the last month or two. Hang on in there, whether she becomes "easy" or just "easier", you will appreciate the improvements, I'm sure grin

OlderNotWiser Sun 19-Oct-08 20:19:24

Reminds me of my DS when he was small. Soooo grumpy. I am convinced some children don't like being babies. He used to briefly cheer up every time he hit a developemental milestone, then go back to grumpy, really until he could walk...and then once he was able to control his own locomotion he was a whole lot easier to be with. He can still be a bit of a grump at times, he's a very emotional lad, but he is also hilarious and energetic and great company, I just think he wasnt suited personality wise to being so totally dependent on others. Im sure your LO will settle as she develops too. Fingers crossed, it is hard work with a challenging baby, I know!

TheArmadillo Sun 19-Oct-08 20:23:10

some kids don't make good babies - they get incrediably frustrated at not being able to do the things they want.

Ds got much easier once he got mobile and the older he can get and the more things he can do the easier he gets. It's trying to convince him that he is still not able to do things that is the prob (e.g. driving, cooking by himself, etc etc hmm).

Full on, but generally more even tempered and happy.

Flibbertyjibbet Sun 19-Oct-08 20:31:18

Not in my experience.
My perfect sleeping/feeding/placid/gorgeous ds1 is now the 3 year old from hell.
Demanding, whingeing, fussy, tantrummy...

DS2 who was totally demanding and clingy from the minute they handed him to me, metamorphosised at about 12 months into the most wonderful, smiley, 'yes mummy', kissy, helpful, eats anything, tidier upper, child. Even the nursery said he is 'just the most pleasant child to have around'.

simpson Sun 19-Oct-08 22:05:59

Pamelat - Have been watching this thread with interest as your DD sounds just like mine!! My DD is 8mths also not crawling (again ok with me!!) she is trying hard to crawl though. grin

Am hoping when she can do more she will be happier in herself but have visions of her whinging following me round the house when she can crawl!!

On the other hand my DS (now 3) was the most placid laid back baby ever and is still very good....waiting for it to change though grin

Vonniemarie Mon 20-Oct-08 01:35:20

My DD was a very clingy demanding baby. She needed my attention all the time and couldn't get anything done. I was the one out of all my friends who had babies that had the most demanding baby. She would not even play on her own so I had to sit with her. Then from about 15 months she changed into the most delightful, warm, bright, well behaved little girl. She is quite bright so I do agree somewhat with previous posters. She's 22 months now and still absolute pleasure. I'm going through the same now with my DS who's 4 months, so hoping (and praying) that he'll turn out the same. The first year is really hard but it was worth it.

Vonniemarie Mon 20-Oct-08 01:40:00

Forgot to mention, she crawled at 10 months and was a late walker at 17 months. She was quite a lazy little monkey on the movement front.

tryingtoleave Mon 20-Oct-08 07:32:03

My ds was quite an easy baby, very placid and laid back I thought. Then he learnt to crawl (at 9.5 months) and everything changed. He stopped sleeping (woke every 40 min all night till we started cosleeping). He's become extremely boisterous, demanding, only wants to run away (just recovered him from a naked dash to the road after a session in the wading pool), throws everything he can get his hands on, tackles all the other children (I'm never sure whether it's affectionate or aggressive). Now that he's started talking he never stops. He's adorable but very hard work. So I don't think that a baby's character is much sign of what's to come. Or maybe I'm just better at dealing with babies.

meandmyjoe Mon 20-Oct-08 10:18:59

Ooo these are all very reassuring stories! More of these please! lol. Must admit I'd rather have 10 of ds as he is now rather than one small baby like he was, urgggh the memories! I often think awful babies are just independant and frustrated and are very likely to be great children (even if a little stubborn!) so I wouldn't worry too much pamelat!! smile

TheProvincialLady Mon 20-Oct-08 10:26:47

My DS was very hard work as a baby. Wouldn't be put down day or night. Needed constant feeding but never much at a time. Difficult to wean. Hardly slept.

Then at about 13m he suddenly morphed into the most contented toddler ever - never whinged, happy, contented, charming little thing.

At 25m he is still pretty much like that, only with the occasional hitting incidentgrin Whereas some of his little friends who were easier babies are definitely NOT easy toddlers. I think a lot of it comes down to personality but some of it is about having their needs met early on so they feel secure, rather than battling to get an easy baby who knows not to bother asking for milk, cuddles etc but storing up problems for the future.

ConnorTraceptive Mon 20-Oct-08 10:28:43

DS1 was the most chilled out easy baby in the world but since he turned three he's an absolute horror - moody, whiney, contrary, ignores you totally - aaargh!!

DS2 is and always has been a difficult baby, bad sleeper, very clingy, bad eater, cries more than ds1 ever did. I'm hoping he will be an easier toddler too!

lingle Mon 20-Oct-08 18:44:37

The answer is no, and in my experience it's the reverse.

So just quietly think "you wait" next time you notice the mother of a plump placid baby thinking she's luckier than you wink

sagacious Mon 20-Oct-08 18:50:36

Agree with lingle

ds was the orginal velcro baby
as soon as he walked he was a different child

Have had friends with "easy" babies that have turned into mini terrors.

colander Mon 20-Oct-08 18:57:02

I think it is just the opposite. DD1 was a horrendous baby - really tearful - just the sight of another child crying could set her off. However, she was a lovely toddler, and is an even lovelier nearly 6 y.o. Anyone giving you pitying looks will be having them returned by you when their quiet placid baby becomes a monster toddler from hell grin

DD2 btw was an angelic baby......and is an incredibly mischievous nearly 3 y.o.

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