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It's a good job I'm confident or, what not to say to parents of late talkers

(8 Posts)
lingle Sun 05-Oct-08 20:20:34

At the neighbours' party today with DS2 (3.1 and gorgeous late talker - just starting to put two words together) we had:

1. "oh dear what's wrong with him?" (DS2 cried on arrival because he doesn't understand "we're going to Emily's house". Once he realised what was going on he was fine.

2. "I expect he's got more going on up there than he shows."

3. "Your DS doesn't say anything, does he?"

4. "It will be nice when your DS2 comes out of his shell" (he's gregarious, just can't talk much yet)

5. "Second children do talk later don't they"

6. "I expect his brother answers for him"

7. "Emily talks so well, I wonder why they are so different".

Thankfully, no-one chose to share their speech improvement techniques today (as in "I always spoke in full sentences and never used baby words and Marcia spoke beautifully at one"), so we must be thankful for small mercies. And I only had to use the phrase "no, it has nothing to do with his environment, it is a question of neurology" once.

It didn't spoil the party for me because I was too busy being delighted that:

1. DS2 has outgrown the phase of refusing to take his shoes off in houses
2. DS2 happily sits in the pass the parcel circle on my lap
3. DS2 asks the hostess for "more snack please"
4. DS2 has now figured out sitting in a little tykes car and going "beep beep"
5. DS2 sat nicely at the table for the party food and said "birthday cake" instead of just "birthday"
6. The neighbour's daughter would like DS2 to come swimming with her on Thurdsay. They had great fun last time.

Moral: lingle needs to watch for situations where she is giving out "helpful" advice to people with specific issues and then STOP doing it.

leoemma Sun 05-Oct-08 20:34:36

Oh thank god some one else who gets the same stupid comments!! My ds is also 3.1 and I am getting sick of the why isnt he talking! I did tell one person it was because stupid questions werent worth responding - juvenile but enjoyable!! smile

Smithagain Sun 05-Oct-08 20:36:33

It sounds like your DS2 is a very good party guest and has better manners than most of the adults wink

blueshoes Sun 05-Oct-08 21:02:19

Lingle, glad you can see past those insensitive comments. Whenever there is a potential issue with a child, it is usually not necessary to comment on it. As my first was also a late talker and slower in some areas, I have been on the receiving end of some silly comments. I Never invite opinions from others.

My second happens to be developmentally quite advanced for his age in certain areas. I have seen some parents look concerned for their children in comparison. I almost want to tell them that it means nothing and lots of children develop at different rates. But I also hold my tongue. Most of the times, it is random and will even out in time, hth.

spudballoo Sun 05-Oct-08 21:07:24

Oh, little tears sprang to my eyes at 'more snack please'. So polite and kind!

I had a slow talker first, and an average perhaps a bit quicker than average talker second. People do say the shabbiest things don't they.

This week in the park, when commenting on the lovely speech of a little boy the same age as my DS1, 'Well, you now, we just gave it to him straight, talked like an adult and he just picked it up brilliantly"

So I shot him. wink

Pah.

Sounds like your DS2 is really picking it up now though. Lovely that he sat in your knee nicely for pass the parcel. Mine just ran around yelling blush

stayinbed Sun 05-Oct-08 21:08:26

some parents should learn from their children who are probably just ready to play and have fun with your ds and not wander around commenting about things because they have nothing more interesting to do

lingle Sun 05-Oct-08 21:09:57

I guess we are all insensitive sometimes.....

Ds1 was the same and now doing extremely well at school. Which helps.....

SuperBunny Sun 05-Oct-08 21:14:08

What a lovely little boy, lingle

My sister didn't speak properly until the day she was taken to the speech therapist when she was 4. She walked in, sat down, answered all questions in full sentences for the first time ever and my mum was sent away feeling very blush

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