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Dd2's obsession is begginning to effect the whole family

(55 Posts)
nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 20:24:55

I have posted before about dd2's obsession with handwashing/germs. I am still waiting to see the school nurse about it.

Anyway it seems to be getting worse. The level of handwashing is about the same although i do have my suspicions that alot of the time when she says she is going to the toilet she is actually only washing her hands. The main prob at the mo is that she is getting increasingly upset when she thinks others haven't washed their hands after using the toilet, particulalry dd1.
She will go on and on about it, asking me to check dd1's hands to see if they smell of soap and if they don't then she says that they smell of germs, and won't let dd1 touch her or anything of hers.

They are sahring a bed at the mo cos of decorating, and i have just spent the last 30 minutes persduading dd2 that dd1 has washed her hands. Dd2 insists that she hasn't and they smell of germs, so she won't let her touch the quilt.

I can see that the prob may be spreading too, as i have noticed that sometimes during a meal, she will get up and wipe her hands for no particular reason.
I am still at a loss what to do about it and on the whole i try and ignore it, but i can't let her keep treating dd1 like she has the plague.

She has evenm questioned a friend of mine over wether her little girl washed her hands and she hadn't so i had to ask her nicely if she woiuld mind (i explained and she was fine about it).

So what do i do now ?? If i take her to the gp what should i be asking her to do about it ????? My gp is about as much use as a choccie fireguard.

It is heartbreaking to see her getting so hysterical over this.

sacha3taylor Mon 28-Feb-05 20:28:39

I'm sure you have alresdy thought of this but is there any chance of seeing a different doc at the surgery?

mckenzie Mon 28-Feb-05 20:28:41

So sorry to hear this Nutcracker and I can appreciate how hard this must be as we had a situation with Ds last year that needed resolving. Go to your doctor and asked to be referred to the Child Guidance people (I think that's what they're called, part of the NHS). Basically, they are child physicologists (sp??) and you may have to wait a while for an appt (we were told 16 weeks but ended up waiting just 8).
We found them very helpful.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 20:31:04

Sacha, there are loads of docs at the surgery but recently they have said you have to see your own (bet thats cos mine had no patients). It is so stupid.

Mckenzie, thanks i will make an appointment and ask about that. Hope it isn't that long to be seen though, thats awful.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 20:40:02

Hmm just had a thought, if i ring last thing at night or fist thing in the morning my g.p may be booked up, so could i say it is an emergency and see a locum/other g.p, or would that be wrong ??

Tiggiwinkle Mon 28-Feb-05 20:57:26

Do whatever you have to do to see a sympathetic GP Nutty-your DD needs to be seen and get some help with this as she is obviously in great distress. It is not something which is likely to go away without expert help.

ThomCat Mon 28-Feb-05 21:05:06

No advice, but just wanted to post really and say how sad and send you both my love. My sister has OCD and has done since she was a little girl so I kind of know where you are coming from.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:06:41

Thanks Tiggi i will ring them tommorow and ask for anyone but my gp.

Thanks Thomcat, i am finding it very hard i must admitt as I can't see how best to help her with it.

ThomCat Mon 28-Feb-05 21:10:26

I know babes, and I know it must be hurting like hell. There is nothing you can do on your own though, you both need help in dealing with this. My heart really does go out to you both, more than you know.

lucykatie Mon 28-Feb-05 21:15:19

i do not have any answers but all i do know is that if you are not happy with your gp you can demand to see another one....its your rights.
do not let them dictate to you about who you see, its your kids welfare at stake here not theres....if no joy change doctors and tell them why....act immediatly this problem will not go away.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:18:54

Thanks all. I will let you know how i get on when i ring tommorow.

yoyo Mon 28-Feb-05 21:19:37

Nutcracker - I think I may have posted when you've mentioned this before. My daughter is nine and is (or was) a persistent handwasher. She seems to have an acute sense of smell and hates her hands to smell of anything (soap being the exception). It had reached the stage where she would wash her hands during a meal if she had touched cheese for example. I don't know whether she associated it with germs as we tried our best to ignore it. She has improved enormously though and I just wanted you to know that they can and do get over these things.
My mother told me that I was exactly the same and used to sniff my hands constantly - a lovely image. Hope it improves soon.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:22:36

Thanks yoyo, glad to hear that things have improved for your dd. She does sniff her hands alot, and she will ask us if they smell.

I have tried to ignore it but obviously it is now effecting dd1 as dd2 will push her away and say she has germs if she thinks she hasn't washed her hands.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:24:39

Does anyone know wether i can book an appointment for dd2 but not actualy take her with me ???

I don't like talking about it in front of her as i feel this makes her think it is more normal. Can i just go alone and speak to the gp about it ??

Tiggiwinkle Mon 28-Feb-05 21:27:33

Nutty-I really think your daughter may have OCD as opposed to what yoyo is describing in her DD. It does need expert help and is very unlikely to get better on its own. Ask for (in fact insist on!) a referral to your local Child Development Centre which will have paediatriaians and child psychologists who will be able to help her.

Tiggiwinkle Mon 28-Feb-05 21:28:41

Yes you can go alone-in fact almost certainly the best way to go about it initially.

Blossomhill Mon 28-Feb-05 21:28:51

nc - I am sure that is fine. I have done that before with dd and unless it's something physical then I can't see why not.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:29:49

Thanks, will do that then.

Tiggiwinkle Mon 28-Feb-05 21:29:57

Just make the appointment in her name and turn up on your own-you dont need to explain to the receptionist.

colditzmum Mon 28-Feb-05 21:34:02

Is your dr male? Cos if he is, you can insist on seeing a female gp, therefore a different dr.

Jimjams Mon 28-Feb-05 21:45:18

You need to see a clinical psychologist. Your GP could refer you (your HV may be able to). FWIW I'm seeing one soon about ds1's obsessions as they are driving me mad (and I'm not sure how much we shuld try and stop them) so I will pass on any ifo.

In the meantime I try and limit his obsessions with "last times" and "countdowns" and school have siad that is the right apporach ans what they do.

Symoathy- the OCD bit of ds1 is often harder to deal with that his autism. (at least harder to live with anyway)

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:48:29

Colditzmum - My gp is female. I will just insist i don't see her if poss and if they refuse i'll kick up a fuss.

Jimjams - It is hard to know what to do, wether to stop her or let her. Hope your appointment is helpful. Any info would be great thanks.

nutcracker Mon 28-Feb-05 21:49:29

Meant to add, i don't appear to have a hv at the mo. I called to speak to mine and was told she no longer covered my area, and when i asked who did, the woman i was speaking to said she wasn't sure.

Jimjams Mon 28-Feb-05 22:22:42

nutcracker- the last time I spoke to pros about this ds1 was 3, at that time they said I was doing the right thing in limiting the obsession (doors at the time) but not outlawing it. The problem we have at the moment is that he switches. I've tended to be relaxed about these things (as much as I can be) until it starts to affect others in the family. Then I try and reduce it or cut it down. I had a brief chat with his teacher (special school so experienced in this sort of stuff) and he seemed to think it was the right approach. He has referred me to clinical psychology and the SW thought it was the bet idea as well, but I think they are just going to say the same. I discussed it breifly with his paed last week and she agreed I should nsee the clinical psych bt thought we were taking the right approach


yoyo Mon 28-Feb-05 23:57:02

Nutcracker-I didn't want to suggest that you didn't pursue this further I merely wanted to reassure you that in our case things are improving. We have consulted our GP on a number of issues which would appear to be related and have been able to do so without our DD being present. Hope you find a sympathetic ear.

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