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Is boy's obsession with girly things normal and okay?

(11 Posts)
beadbabe Wed 24-Sep-08 09:19:26

Hi there
I have always thought it okay to let my four year old (who has just started school) play with whatever he likes, but recently he has started obsessing about pink and princesses. At nursery and now at school he likes to dress up in frilly dresses! I do think this kind of cute, but my parents have started making comments that I shouldn't encourage his obsession. He is so adorable and gentle natured - I hate to hurt his feelings though. But am I damaging his identity or is it just fine to let this go on. Now he is at school though I am concerned about him getting teased because of it.
He has now started nagging me about having a princess dress at home. I want to agree just to make him happy, but don't want to make things worse for him. I just don't want him to turn out being made fun of by other boys, as he is very soft-hearted.

Help or advice please!

meandmyjoe Wed 24-Sep-08 09:59:14

Only my opinion but I'd let him get o with it. He's not harming anyone and is probably only experimenting. Pink frilly things are a novelty to little boys as they tend to only be bought 'boy' tpoys like trucks and trains.

He sounds wonderfully creative and sensitive. At this age he has no concept of what society thinks as a boy he should or should not be doing.

You're not damaging his identity, if anything forcing him to stop doing it is more likely to make him feel uncomfortable, by embracing it you are showing him he can dress like he wants and be an individual. He'll grow out of it but even if not, forcing him to be different is never a good idea. He sounds so lovely.

coppertop Wed 24-Sep-08 10:09:45

Ds2's favourite colour was pink all the way through Reception. He and his friend used to fight over who was going to wear the pink princess dress in the dressing-up corner. At home he had a pink plate and a pink cup and chose a pink toothbrush. I think the only person who ever teased him about it was his older brother. During the summer holidays (when he was 5.5yrs) ds2 suddenly decided he didn't like pink anymore and wouldn't even eat pink yoghurts anymore.

I would let your ds be himself.

mamadiva Wed 24-Sep-08 10:11:07

Let him go with it. He doesn't know what the difference is. Get him a dressing up box and buy all sorts of dressing up outfits

hettie Wed 24-Sep-08 11:06:38

he'll (unfortunatley) get with the gender steroetypes dolled out by society all too soon- just enjoy the fact that he isn't feeling that pressure just yet

WigWamBam Wed 24-Sep-08 11:11:45

Some of the Y1 and Y2 boys at school like to wear the sparkly dresses when we get the dressing up boxes out at school. Nobody bats an eyelid.

How will you damage his identity by letting him be himself? It would be more damaging to try and change him into something he isn't.

It would be an awful shame to stifle his individuality simply because some silly parents can't see things through a child's eyes.

beadbabe Wed 24-Sep-08 13:57:19

Hi there
Yes, thank you all for your kind replies. I suppose I was just worried that I was doing something wrong by not ensuring that he is into Power Rangers and rough games etc like every other boy his age.
don't get me wrong - I love him just the way he is and that will always be the way, I just worry that if I encourage his love of pink then I might be letting him in for upset, which of course is every mum's horror! I wouldn't want hime ot be anything other than the way he is, but wasn't expecting the whole pink thing with my second son!

throckenholt Wed 24-Sep-08 14:03:55

I have a 5 year old who is also in to pink - he has been loyal to it for about 3 years now.

He is year 1 at school - and wore his pink fleece to school yesterday. This morning he was in tears because some of the boys had teased him about it.

I think is it really sad. I want him to make his own choices, but also don't want him to be upset by others narrowness.

Dh and I both told him this morning he had two choices - either wear it and tell people he didn't care because he liked it, or to save it for just wearing at home.

I don't know what he decided because I had to go to work.

beadbabe Wed 24-Sep-08 18:41:24

To throckenholt... Aww, sad. Good answer though.
It is true - nothing wrong with wearing pink - my dad wears pink shirts and they really suit him, and no-one would dare tease him about it - and he doesn't look the least bit girly! More like Phil Mitchel - hmm

It is unusual that a boy is into fluffy stuff and princesses but maybe it is just his gentle nature coming out and how else to express it when you are only in reception

I think I will worry less about it and carry on as I have. If he wants a teaset for Christmas he shall have a teaset for Christmas!

Phil75 Wed 24-Sep-08 21:32:21

Beadbabe... I could have written that myself! My DS1 is 4 and exactly as you describe. And I feel exactly the same as you. I really don't care what he likes/wears/plays with but I'm worries that by letting him or encouraging him that he'll end up getting teased. Every morning at nursery he goes straight for the pink tutu or the Snow White dress and wears it all morning.

He does also keep saying 'I wish I was a girl. I like girl's toys and girl's clothes'. Hmm. Hey ho.. whatever floats his boat I guess!

CatMandu Wed 24-Sep-08 21:39:08

Well, I read your post and thought the same as the other posters so I decided to see it from the point of view of my ds (5). What would I expect his reaction to be to a boy dressed in one of his sisters sparkly dresses - I think he would make a comment and could tease a bit. However I also think that if an adult said to him, 'don't be silly we can like whatever colour we like' ds would take that at face value and probably accept it.

So, let him get on with it but be prepared for the odd comment. He'll be fine.

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