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20 months and he doesnt understand me PLEASE HELP

(26 Posts)
louismama Fri 25-Feb-05 22:03:31

HI im new at this so please bear with me, "my boy" (as i always refer to him) is 20months and from what ive read in the past few days is definately lanuage delayed both receptive and expressive. I was told he was a floppy baby at his 2nd review, and has been undergoing physio since he was 11months, fantastically it worked he finally crawled at 13months and walked at 17months. We were also sent to see a neurologist at 12months who said he was aprox 2months behind mentally and about 4 phsically and not too worry too much.(I should mention that we had moved to spain by then and this is where he has received treatment) She also requested a blood analysis (total nightmare) and a scan, which we flatly refused because of the risk of a general anth. on 1 year old. He has also been doin Global stimulation classes 1 on 1 ( Taught him to play, shape sorters, press buttons etc all of which he does well.) which i also think have been helpful but done in spanish, but at 18 months the centre raised queries about his speech development, he understands feet. Dindins for food and drink drink, socks, trousers, etc. if i show him them. He babbles constantly and has done so since 6/7 months he has a good range of sounds but only dad is ever applied with discrimination. He is usually a happy lively child (Eye contact can be a problem)but has been acting wierd lately (last month or so)shakes his head alot, plays with dribble when not entertained, clingy climbs all over me &wants to be held alot, keeps rubbing his face against my clothes or furniture. I can only say we were so concerned with his walking etc. that we didnt woory about rest thought it would follow after. As you can imagine im now OUT OF MY MIND with worry and guilt as i didnt realise how behind he was. His spanish therapists now want him to see a audiologist (he appears to hear ok to me but who knows)but ive had enough i dont speak spanish so comms a bit of a nightmare. We are coming back to england not because i think the treatment etc. will be any better but at least i can ask and answer questions etc. Does any of this sound familiar? What shall I expect when back in uk. ( Took him to see hv in uk on xmas visit home she said he was a little immature but to give him time and shed see him at 2 years!!!!!!!! ) Any input would be great no one to talk to out here.

hercules Fri 25-Feb-05 22:05:50

Sounds normal to me. More experience people will give more detailed answers.

hercules Fri 25-Feb-05 22:06:13

Does he point?

Cristina7 Fri 25-Feb-05 22:10:57

Hi. My first thought would be about his hearing too. Even small degrees of hearing loss, caused for example by glue ear, can delay speech. This is fortunately temporary and totally overcome at a later stage. When the degree of hearing loss is small it is that much more difficult to diagnose it because the child appears to be hearing well, as they may well hear some frequencies well but not others. There are plenty of profoundly deaf children diagnosed at 1.5-2 years old (this will get better with newborn hearing screening), let alone those with a small hearing loss. You also tend to adapt parenting to your child and this makes it difficult to see just how much he can hear or not. Audiological testing is quite difficult in children so young so if you decide to follow your therapit's advice and have an audiological exam I'd suggest you do it somewhere with expertise in babies and small children. In London this would be places like RNTNE or GOSH.

louismama Fri 25-Feb-05 22:13:28

No no pointing or requesting things stares at things if he wants them occasionally, forgot to mention loves spinning on the spot and i had preaclampsia and clostesis (spelling?) at end of pregnacy was induced at 37 weeks 7 stone heavier. Thanks for input.

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:14:09

Does he understand simple instructions? Things like "Fetch coat" and "want drink" etc. If you have concerns about his understanding then a hearing test would probably be a good idea, even if only to reassure you.

Does he communicate without words? What does he do if he wants something? Does he try to let you know?

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:14:48

Oops! Crossed posts!

Chandra Fri 25-Feb-05 22:14:58

I don't really know I'm in a position to give you a good advice about this matter but in terms of the scan, I would go ahead with it. the risks associated with gral anaesthetics are not that bad for a twenty months old (DS had a gral anaesth at 5m and was fine), they use paediatric anestheticians so you can rest assured that they know what they are doing and can provide you with the information needed to design a "plan of action" to help your DS to make the most of his therapy. If you can do the scans in Spain please do, it's bloody difficult to get appointments with medical specialists under the NHS in a reasonable time and it seems to me, from other Mumsnet's threads, that you have to fight your way to get a proper assesment.

Chandra Fri 25-Feb-05 22:18:05

BTW, my nephew had a scan recently and they didn't use anaesthetics, they just kept him awake all the night to make sure he fell asleep for the scan.

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:18:25

When you give him toys to play with, what does he actually do with them?

louismama Fri 25-Feb-05 22:19:34

No, i adore him but he never asks for things just shouts if he wants to get out of pushchair etc when out. He wont give things occasionally a bite of a biscuit if i gesture enough, he initiated walking with me and dh together the other day and i nearly jumped for joy. He ates proper food but cant get him off bottle yet and getting fluids down him a constant concern in hot climate.

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:21:12

If he finds something he is interested in does he try to share it with you or show you in any way?

Apologies for all the questions.

louismama Fri 25-Feb-05 22:21:42

Great to hear from mums,thanks yes i think he plays ok for short times now with toys sometimes stroppy if i try to help

colditzmum Fri 25-Feb-05 22:22:34

louismama, my 22 mo boy is still having a bottle, so don't worry about that, the rest i can't really help with, but don't worry about the bottle!

louismama Fri 25-Feb-05 22:25:59

no he doesnt like to share really will look at favourite book with me now ( have been working on that one)

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:38:01

I'm by no means an expert in child development and have obviously never met your little boy but he does sound quite similar to my own 2 boys (now aged 4.5yrs and 2yrs). The eldest was diagnosed with autism just over a year ago and the youngest has a preliminary diagnosis of autism.

I am by no means suggesting that your little boy is autistic too though. It's just that it may be worth looking at, even if only to rule out the possibility.

louismama Fri 25-Feb-05 22:44:59

coppertop thanks for all your input will have to do some research i was thinking along the same lines just want to be a little informed so dont get fobbed off by hv etc. again. Family seem to be very defensive of ds hes only a little boy etc. dh is finally admitting a problem, do you boys receive any therapy? Please dont think me rude or ignorant i just want to help ds

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:55:32

Not rude or ignorant at all! I was actually worried about posting about autism in case it was something you hadn't considered and it made you worry even more.

Ds1 had speech therapy for about a year or so. He didn't understand about communicating until quite late on and started to talk at 3. The pre-school service (Early Years Inclusion Service) helped the playgroup staff to help him with his sensory problems. He has very sensitive hearing and vision and had very sensitive hands. He is now in an ordinary mainstream primary school and doing well.

With our younger son we spotted the signs much sooner as we'd seen it all before. He is due to start speech therapy soon. As we knew what to look for we were also able to intervene sooner and teach him things like how to point, when to point, how to play pretend games etc. He can say about 20 or so words now so is improving but needs help as he understands very little. The child development staff are working on a development plan for him which we can work on at home. He too has sensory problems but these are slightly different to his brother's problems.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask.

coppertop Fri 25-Feb-05 22:57:30

By the way, if you look in the Special Needs section of mumsnet you will see that there are quite a few of us with children with SN, including several with autism, global delay etc. Please feel free to come and join us on there too. We're very friendly and new people are always welcome.

Jimjams Fri 25-Feb-05 23:00:21

louismama it would be woorth looking at the CHAT test and mentioning it if you start to get fobbed off (anyone have a link to a decent version of it?) Basically it tests whether a child of 18 months can point, follow a point and what their pretend play is like. Some of the things you have said sounded little alarm bells and I certainly think no-one should be fobbing you off.

BTW he did everything the same age as my ds1 (crawled at 13 months and walked at 17 momths (and one day!) so i know the feeling of worrying about walking, getting there and then thinking- uh oh.

I wouldnt woorry too much about sppeech especially if he;s in another country, but would worry about understandin if you think he's struggling. He soun ds as if he is seeking some sensory stuff- you may find wrappping him in a duvet (like a sausage roll) calming for him - he could hate it as welll- but worth a go!.

Good luck- if you have any quesitons about assessments don't hesitate to ask in the special needs section, there are lots of us there and I'm sure someone will have expperience of any procedure/test you have to go through.

Chandra Fri 25-Feb-05 23:02:17

Louimama, is there any possiblity that you have the assesment done in Spain and then bring the report here for when you see your GP? A previous dianosis from a specialist (even from another country) will certainly help you to bypass the GP and even jump the queu for the specialist for when you are here in England. At least it was like that with DS (completely unrelated problem) but we were not even allowed to see an specialist here because GP thought the condition would disapear on its own after a few years. TBH the UK specialist was horrified when she saw DS, couldn't believe he had not been refered earlier. (BTW we got the first diagnosis in Spain because we used to live there and knew where to ask for help)

Jimjams Fri 25-Feb-05 23:03:29

my typing is dreadful today - sorry!

BTW louismama- if yoiur dh is begining to think along the same lines as you he is doing very well- dh;s are always behind mothers. Also families always take a long time to get their heads round assessments. When ds1 was 2ish I used to have to hide all my autism books under my bed as I used to get such grief from people if they saw me reading them.

Chandra Fri 25-Feb-05 23:04:19

I think I have one, let me have a look...

Chandra Fri 25-Feb-05 23:12:13

here: CHAT test

louismama Sat 26-Feb-05 02:28:52

The sensory thing does also ring true ds was frightened of motorbikes (noise) as a small baby but then im sure they all are, he appeared to get over it then recently hes become terrified of traffic again, walking around town takes forever have to stop and hide in my legs till the cars hve gone. Also fasinated with my arms (not DH's -hairy) will slap, pinch or scratch them if im giving him his bottle not vicious just sort of feeling

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