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Behaviour/development

Ok question for you regarding shy 7yo who has found friends in the street

35 replies

singyswife · 19/09/2008 19:20

How late do you let them out???? She is 7 and has zero confidence with other children she has discovered that there are several children in the street her age but they are more street wise than her, how late do I let her stay out. PFB question?????

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pointydog · 19/09/2008 19:22

Depends on the time of year and when bed time is. It gets dark now around 7 so I'd want a 7 yr old in about 7.15.

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LynetteScavo · 19/09/2008 19:23

She should be in bofore dark, or 7 in the summer?

Bit i'm old fashioned: I bet loads of peopel will be at her being out alone.

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NoblesseOblige · 19/09/2008 19:23

in this house everyone can play out til it is tea time. after tea (at your discretion, though), right now it is until it gets dark. ie any minute now.

just do what you're happy with though, don't worry about what everyone else is doing

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singyswife · 19/09/2008 19:23

Hhhhmmmm she is playing at the back of the house with 2 little girls just now. They are the same age but have only just come out. It is the usual story I dont want to be the baddy.

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CatMandu · 19/09/2008 19:23

What do you mean by out? Playing at their houses or out in the street?

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singyswife · 19/09/2008 19:24

LS this is the first summer she has been allowed out to play so it is all new and I am totally paranoid but not wanting her to know that. I'm sure when it comes time for my other dd to do it I will know the rules.

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singyswife · 19/09/2008 19:25

By back of the house I mean in the street. Her friend she is playing with lives at the top of the road and I can see the garden from my house. Oh what to do.

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MasterBatesLePew · 19/09/2008 19:27

In the light nights my 6yo was out until 9. Week nights now about 7 or 7.15. weekends until it gets dark.

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singyswife · 19/09/2008 19:29

Yeah I think she has about another 15 minutes of daylight and I am not happy about her being out in the dark so she will be in soon. Thanks all, just a paranoid mother here but having never done this before just wanted some advice. Thanks

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LynetteScavo · 19/09/2008 19:29

The thing is, there are no rules!!!

We used to live in a cul de sac, and DS2 played out at the front of the house almost constantly. DD is the now the same age as he was then, but I wouldn't dream of even letting her out on the front lawn where we live now.

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seeker · 19/09/2008 19:31

Why wouldn't you let her out on the front lawn?

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MasterBatesLePew · 19/09/2008 19:35

Lynette is right about there's no rules. We live in a cul de sac with houses only on one side of the road,. There is a group of children who play out all the tme, my DD2 is the youngest. They run in and out of each others gardens and play in the street, road and bushes. It will do your DD a stack of good playing out, really boost her confidence.

My DD has just came in with her sleeve ripped to pieces after falling out of a bush

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singyswife · 19/09/2008 19:37

Thanks guys. I am really trying to encourage the play to bring on her confidence but I also want to keep her safe. Thanks all.

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MasterBatesLePew · 19/09/2008 19:46

Just have a peek out now and again. Warning !be prepared for lots of fallings out and fighting. The parents in my street now go 'really? how awful, out you go', to all tales. Don't get stressed about it as they'll be friends again in 30 seconds.

I'm glad to hear she has new friends my eldest is very shy.

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LynetteScavo · 19/09/2008 21:10

seeker, I meen unaccompanied...shes only 3, and there a cars and passers by and cats to chase after. The cul de sac where we lived was a dream come true. Like Neighbours, but better. We only left because we were evicted. (Owners came back form France, not that we were dreadful tennents )

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seeker · 20/09/2008 00:27

Sorry, Lynette - didn't realize she was only 3 - thought she was a cotton wool wrapped 7 year old!

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kidcrazylady · 20/09/2008 00:49

Hi all! I'm new to this, but confused a little. Are ANY of you living in the US?

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chipmonkey · 20/09/2008 01:09

This is a United Kingdom site kcl but there certainly are some members in the US. I'm in Ireland, by the way!

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kidcrazylady · 20/09/2008 01:30

Ok. I just was thinking that maybe things are different here in the "good ol US of A" since any decent parent here wouldn't allow a young girl out in the street without constant supervision. We live in a nice development with upper class neighbors and a huge yard and let the kiddos play in the yard (age 8, 6, and 4) but would never let them out of my sight. Too many child predators and sickos out there. I'm assuming it's a different world than what you all are talking about...?

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chipmonkey · 20/09/2008 02:00

My boys play outside for hours out of my sight but they are older. They come back home to eat and that's about it!

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chipmonkey · 20/09/2008 02:05

My boys play outside for hours out of my sight but they are older. They come back home to eat and that's about it!

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roisin · 20/09/2008 05:19

My boys are 9 and 11 but we've had the same rules for years: they can play out before tea, but not after; and we tend to have tea quite early - 5 or 5.30; maybe 6 in the holidays.

Later on the children are getting more tired and grumpy, IMO this is when accidents or incidents happen, and it's just not worth it.

My two both need their sleep, and to get a good night's sleep they need some time winding down with a predicatable routine, not rampaging round the garden with their mates.

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LynetteScavo · 20/09/2008 10:06

kidcrazylady...it's interesting things are different where you are. I don't think there are any more sickos or pervs in one part of the world or another, I but I do think parents perceptions/ fears can be different.

Where I used to live people would just leave their fornt doors open and children would play out side. The worst thing that happened to DS when I wasn't watching him was that he opened the electric garage door and held on to it, giving himself a ride.

I would let my 9yo DS play out here,(there are some boys a few doors down, who put a skate ramp in the street, adn he's dying to go and play with them, but the younger 2 would want to go too, and it's not safe enough here - although I'm more worried about cars, than anything else.

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TheInvisibleManDidIt · 20/09/2008 11:10

my 2 stay out until about 7/ 7.30pm this time of year. (they're 6 & 8). During the summer, if it's not a school night, they're out until abou t8.30.

There are other children in our street though, about the same ages, who are still out at 10pm. Far too late, imho, plus it's really dark by then.

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LunaFairy · 20/09/2008 14:29

My ds isn't at the age yet where he is asking to go out and play.

My husband and I already agree that we would not want our ds to play out on a street with friends. We live in a busy neighbourhood with lots of passing traffic and lots of teenagers hanging about. If we lived in a cul de sac then I may have a different view.

I would rather him bring friends home to play in the garden or in the play room. I then know who he's with and that he is safe.

I see children as young as 4/5 who are playing on the street with much older kids. I can't believe parents let them out at such a young age. Also, there is nothing for them to do on a steet, they just hang about in groups on street corners (well round my way they do!)

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