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ds(5) bit classmate today - sweet little girl - what should I do?

(8 Posts)
cariboo Thu 18-Sep-08 20:04:11

An altercation occurred in the school sandpit today when ds & another child fought over a spade. Ds tried to gain the advantage (I guess) by biting her in the arm. He didn't draw blood but left bitemarks. Am devastated as ds already has "behavioral problems". Apart from my fury with ds which atm, seems boundless, could the parents of the little classmate take legal action against us? Could ds be chucked out of (private) school? Apart from telling him that only animals bite, unacceptable behavior, etc, what else shall I do? I want to wire his jaws shut or bite him myself so he knows what it feels like but realise this isn't the best way to proceed. Help me, please.

thisisyesterday Thu 18-Sep-08 20:15:37

try not to be too hard on him. he's only little still.
I remmeber biting my friend at school once. I don't even know why I did it.

I think you've done all you need to tbh. telling him that he shouldn't do it etc etc. oh, maybe give him some alternative things that he CAN do when these situations arise,
ie, if someone takes the thing you're playing with you could look for another one. or you could ask for it back, or you could tell a teacher

beansontoast Thu 18-Sep-08 20:20:28

my ds does this very occasionally...usually with a sweet girl! (although said sweet girl can be bossy and controlling)

ask him about what happened...(does he have the words for how he felt?)...then after you have acknowledged how he felt,talk about things you can do when you feel that way..iykwim

i go through what i want him TO do in those situations,what IS works most of the time (but tired or really frustrated he is still a little unpredictable)

i also 'big up' the praise when he does back down (though i appreciate this is hard to do when he is at school)

brimfull Thu 18-Sep-08 20:24:00

if it was me I would make a point of apologising to parent when you're at the school and making your ds apoligise to the little girl

cariboo Thu 18-Sep-08 20:31:49

Oh, we will! No fears there. Apologies from dh& I & from ds - only problem is that we don't yet know the child nor her parents. Dc on hols til Tuesday, unfortunately.

smartiejake Thu 18-Sep-08 21:26:36

Oh dear I feel for you!.
DD2 was a little biter and although now no longer uses her teeth as weapons, has been known to stamp on the odd toe and push when in a particularly bad temper! (Usually DD1 who delights in winding her up! grin)

Think you are doing the right thing in making him apologise.

As for biting him...

<whispers very quietly and prepares to flee> might not be a bad idea!

My granny told me my uncle was the most terrible biter. She got fed up with it and one day bit him on the hand. He never did it again...

But there again my granny is 90 and gets quite confused...

jamum Thu 18-Sep-08 21:32:59

Oh dear. My ds is a biter and has just started nursery, so I expect I'll be doing a very similar post shortly. Absolutely no advice (will watch and hope some is forth coming) but wanted you to know you are not alone

cariboo Fri 19-Sep-08 21:27:44

Must confess that my fury eventually got the better of me & I did bite him! (blush) I put my teeth on his chubby little forearm & slowly increased the pressure... I didn't bite hard, obviously - I'm not insane (at least, I don't think I am?) but he did get the message. I don't think he'll be biting anyone anytime soon.

btw, this is not good parenting & I don't advocate biting a biter.

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