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Is 2.2 too young for a sticker chart? Have run out of ideas to deal with DS!

(13 Posts)
hairymcleary Wed 17-Sep-08 11:33:42

DS is 2.2 and has just started to become really 'non-compliant' to put it nicely! He refuses to get dressed, nappy on, go in bath etc. Still eats well and goes to bed easily (thank God!).
My previous techniques to get him to do what I want are now not working. Eg 'If you don't get dressed we can't go to playgroup' used to work a treat. Now he will just say he doesn't want to go!
Don't really want to resort to bribing with sweets, as he's got a really sweet tooth already.
Would a sticker chart work at this age? Am reading Tanya Byron's book and she thinks they don't work with boys until 3.5... anyone had any sucess earlier or have any other techniques that might help?!

LunaFairy Wed 17-Sep-08 12:56:46

My ds has been defiant about a lot of things the past year, he is approaching 3 yrs old. He has become a lot easier lately but still has moments from day to day about bathing, teeth brushing and face washes.

I tried a sticker chart and it didn't work. I think they are a wonderful idea though and hoping my ds catches on to it soon!

We do the 'If you don't get dressed we can't go to playgroup/park etc' it does work most times but have resorted to taking a toy away from him if he has been warned more than once/twice.

Even though its tiring and feel like its going on forever - there will be an end to it all when he gets a little older.

notnowbernard Wed 17-Sep-08 13:00:40

No Way to sticker chart!

DD1 (4.9) might get the gist of one now, but really I think they're a bit of a waste of time. Particularly with a 'defiant' child.

At 2.2 (dd2 is 2.1) I think I tend to go more with Distraction or Ignore

And praise up the good things and pick your battles smile

Sorry, not much help! DD2 is very tantrummy atm so you have my sympathies

babyinbelly Wed 17-Sep-08 13:26:21

I walk away from DS (also 2.2) if he refuses to do things I.e if he wont get dressed I go downstairs and ignore him. He usually comes down with his clothes wanting to get dressed 5 minutes later.

Yanda Wed 17-Sep-08 19:02:16

My DD is 2.2 and she understands a sticker chart, but only for potty training I don't think it would really work when she is in a defiant tizz! I agree with babyinbelly, I just say "Ok then, don't" and I go into another room and start doing something else. She usually then does exactly what I asked her to do. I also pick my battles, so if she doesn't want to get dressed and we are not going anywhere then she can run around without any on if thats what she wants.

ruddynorah Wed 17-Sep-08 19:07:40

nope. pick your battles. ask yourself why he's refusing. does he just not want to go to the park? or is it that he wants to dres himself or choose what he wears?

also think about your pace. are you going too fast for him? do you have to be out the door right then?

give him more power. with dd (2.3) it often works to say, 'do you want me to put you in your car seat or do you want to do it yourself?' cue 'do it myself' and she hops in.

bodiddly Wed 17-Sep-08 19:10:35

at that age we resorted to bribery! We have to get up and out of the house very early in the mornings and had battles every day with nappies, dressing, teeth etc ... so for a long time we used to promise ds one chocolate button or something similar when he had done everything we asked without complaint. He didnt get treats at other times so he knew it was worth behaving for. It worked until we started sticker charts!

tiggerlovestobounce Wed 17-Sep-08 19:19:06

At that age I think they are generally to young for sticker charts.
Have you tried just giving him the stickers ie just putting on onto his top when he does something good?
Its a bit more immediatly rewarding for them than a sticker chart.

neolara Wed 17-Sep-08 19:26:11

Ah yes, two and a half is awful. My delightful DD morphed into a devil child around then. She came back to me in the end but it took a while.

I found telling her she shouldn't do whatever it was that I wanted her to do worked well a lot of the time (e.g. "No, don't, do NOT eat your supper. No, put it down right now, right now I said" etc).

I would also recommend Toddler Taming as a very pragmatic book for dealing with completely irrational toddler behaviour.

jollydo Wed 17-Sep-08 19:26:17

Also could try turning things into a game. Have a race to get to the bathroom first, find silly ways to put him in the bath (my ds1 likes us swinging him in!) can you get the nappy on before you finish the song, etc. etc.

notnowbernard Wed 17-Sep-08 19:30:32

Yes, agree re endless game-playing...

LittleMyDancing Wed 17-Sep-08 19:32:21

We are still having this problem on and off, although he's got a lot better. We've found sometimes things like 'Are these my shoes? I'll put them on' often results in him saying 'Noooooo, they're mine!' and insisting on you putting them on him.

Similarly threatening to eat his tea works a treat!

the key really is not to get strung out about it, they're testing boundaries and also developing their own independence and seeing how far they can push you. So pick your battles, insist on the important things, and if he says 'I don't want my coat on' then say 'fine, but tell Mummy if you're cold'

With DS, as soon as we get outside he says 'It's cold! Can I have my coat!'

Toddlers. sigh.....

deaconblue Wed 17-Sep-08 21:14:21

I used stickers with ds but not a chart. He used to kick off about going to the car so I gave him a sticker to put on his car seat every time he walked nicely to the car. Used to show him the sitcker, ask if he'd like it and then say he could have it when he'd walked nicely. Worked a dream and after about two weeks we didn't even need to bother with the stickers anymore.

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