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HELP.....can't cope with 7 month old ds's angry mood when he wakes up

(6 Posts)
macca08 Wed 17-Sep-08 09:01:50

The only way my ds can get back to sleep at night is by my partners nipples.

If I go in to comfort him when he wakes, he gets so upset, his body goes rigid and he just screams with anger angry. He can only get back to sleep if he's breastfed by my partner.. I get so hurt and upset and I'm starting to take this personally, (which I know is stupid) even though my partner reassures me that it's nothing to do with me, he's just angry because he's woken and doesn't know how to get back to sleep.

He's so lovely and adorable in the day but I dread night times and dread going to bed in case he wakes up whilst he's in his cot. How can I teach my ds to go back to sleep soundly? It's really tearing me apart and I don't know how much more I can take of this to be honest sad

TheProvincialLady Wed 17-Sep-08 09:05:39

I don't think you can teach him at all. If your partner wants to night wean him then there are gentle ways, but your DS reaction is this strong I can't see a kind way of you doing it. Is your DP happy with seeig to your DS at night? If she is then you might be better off just letting her do it. If not then The No Cry Sleep Solution has a few ideas about helping babies to sleep at night without needing a breast.

Mums and dads have different roles to play and if you can see it that way you might feel less refjected.

gingerninja Wed 17-Sep-08 09:06:24

Listen to your partner she is right. It's nothing personal. Perhaps he's hungry hence the needing to breastfeed. Not sure it's a good idea to deal with this on your own if you're getting wound up. Does your DP feed him when he wakes? Have you tried a dummy, cuddle, co-sleeping? He's still young, waking in the night is not unusual at all neither is feeding at this age.

FWIW, my DD wanted nothing to do with my DH until she was about a year old. Now ONLY daddy will do and I don't get a look in.

mou Wed 17-Sep-08 09:11:21

Could your partner express a little milk so you can feed him?
Also have an item of her clothing that he can snuggle against initially and then gently take time to stop using it as he gets used to it.
If you have the opportunity and he falls asleep in her arms take him for a cuddle so he starts to associate nice sleep time with you
Of course it feels personal, you feel unable to comfort someone you love even though it is not a direct rejection of you. And it sounds like you a good man in wanting to give your partner a break. It is heartbreaking while it happens but the nighttime bond will come, just hang in there until it does.

macca08 Wed 17-Sep-08 09:18:24

We have tried a dummy but he refuses it completely. He does co-sleep with us even though his cot is next to our bed, dp finds it easier to sleep when he's in our bed and he can then feed whenever he wants.

He goes to sleep around 7pm and usually wakes 2 hours later. A couple of times I have been able to cuddle him back to sleep and that was so lovely ,but I've only managed to do this a few times. Gingerninja what you said about your dh sounds promising and there is a light at the end of the tunnel smile

gingerninja Wed 17-Sep-08 09:27:31

Honestly Macca, I feel rejected most days by her flat refusal to let me do anything when he's around! It can be really upsetting especially when you just want to comfort them and they won't let you. He obviously wants something you can't provide at that moment (sleep milk or just to suckle) hence the grump. When we're on our own she's very loving with me these days so I don't let it upset me too much.

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