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what would you do?

(9 Posts)
bookswapper Tue 16-Sep-08 22:46:12

DS (almost 3) is not settling at playgroup (this is his fourth week, 2 days a week)
He seemed to have attached himself to a member of staff and I left him with her today, reading a story.
After I left he cried for his mummy and cried on and off for the two hour session.

When I returned, this staff member told me he had had his worst day yet.

Tonight, DS told my DH, when he asked about playgroup that "the lady doesnt like me"
We are in bits. We have no way of knowing which lady he means and no way of finding out. Its horrible thinking he feels he is somewhere (without mum or dad) with someone who doesnt like him.

I dont think he is making it up or could make this up.

What would you do? Phone them to find out why he might have said this? We are tempted to just take him out. Surely these people are trained?

HonoriaGlossop Tue 16-Sep-08 23:18:41

If he doesn't have to go, take him out. If he's getting worse and it's his fourth week then it isn't suiting him, for whatever reason; he may just not be ready, or it may be the wrong place.

don't agonise about taking him out though. just do it, if you want to!

LynetteScavo Tue 16-Sep-08 23:26:52

by 2 days a week, do you mean 2 mornings a week?

Even my very sensitive, clingy ds1 had settled by 4 weeks.

I thinkg you have to go with your gut feeling on this.

mrswotzisnotin Tue 16-Sep-08 23:31:06

2 hour sessions on 2 days a week is not long enough for them to settle IMHO.

I am sure the lady does like him, juts doens't like him being upset for 2 hours.

"I don't liek to see you upset" "I don't like you"

can be confusing to an almost 3 year old

bookswapper Wed 17-Sep-08 07:18:59

yes two mornings a week with a day at home in between

it was like that because of childcare issues (which have now disappeared - I am a SAHM with another baby now)

I have asked for three consecutive sessions but the playgroup dont seem keen now although they said I could have them previously

I dont know what to do
I would love to leave him somewhere he was happy and could play with other kids

seeker Wed 17-Sep-08 07:25:04

If he needs to go for work or for your sanity then maybe see it you can stay with him for a while, or talk to the people there about a strategy for helping him.

If he doesn't, keep him home with you!

Playgroup/pre school/nursery are not compulsory, you know.

bookswapper Wed 17-Sep-08 07:38:22

I have asked to stay a numer of times and do extra turns on the volunteer rota but they are not keen because they want him to settle and think it would be better if I left

I know another parent is concerned that they "whisk" her out of the door

I have tried staying longer to settle him, leaving straight away and now next dh is going to leave him there next

I suppose after that there is no point sad

but I did want to settle him before a nursery start in January (he gets a free place for a few sessions a week and I think/hoped he would enjoy that)

seeker Wed 17-Sep-08 07:41:31

Why not wait and do the "settling" when he goes to nursery? This way you'll have to do it twice. And I do know from bitter experience that just because they settle at one place they ma y well not somewhere else.

bookswapper Wed 17-Sep-08 07:49:06

thanks for your advice

I think I may well consider taking him out if the rest of this week doesnt go well

I did enjoy the few hours in a coffee shop with the baby knowing that he was having fun (or so I thought)
Its going to be a long winter....smile

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