6yo so so grumpy 24/7 for the last 6 years! Is he depressed?

[tigi]

Honestly he is so so grumpy, mardy, argumentative, obstinate, moany, and constantly bawling!

From he minute he wakes up he is crabby, to the arguments just before bed time. Everything is just hard work and hassle. he had a paddy at school because i put him fresh water in his drink bottle instead of stale! he shouted at me ! he moans about going to school, wearing shoes, that his tea isn't right, he wants chocolate, wants this, wants that...... Won't have a shower, wont clean his teeth, wont have his hair combed. Absolute nightmare. Argues and shouts at his brothers (older) . kicks them. Cries easily. he is just horrid.
Everywhere we go we have children saying 'your son hit me.!

My older two are sweetness and light.

Is it 'just him' or really could he be depressed? I really don't believe a 6 yo should be like this. He has been like it since he was born!

I am now worrying that he is getting set in his ways and really will rule the house, and get more agressive.

Any thoughts please? thanks

[glowersintheattic]

Overtired?

[Pannacotta]

Poor you.
Does he have blood sugar problems? I get very grumpy if I dont eat very regularly, as is the case with most of my family. Might explain why he is grumpy on waking, it might be worth leaving a snack and drink by his bed for him to have first thing, in an attempt to improve his mood? And making sure he eats something (not sweets/chocolate etc) very regularly, say 2-3 hours.

[tigi]

no, in bed asleep 8pm usually til 7am.
I just think he has a mutant gene.......

[tigi]

He has asthma. He isn't tired from lack of sleep but asthma nurse wants to do blood test to check iron as is pale and sucks thumb a lot, and so looks sleepy as he does so! This will be next week. But he has only has mild asthma 2 years, not since birth, which is when the grouchiness started!
interested in the blood sugar link, and the blood test will pick this up - any other signs on this to look out for?

[tigi]

He drinks a LOT of milk. How did you know it was the milk HoochieMommaFeelGood, was he grumpy?

[tigi]

He drinks a LOT of milk. How did you know it was the milk HoochieMommaFeelGood, was he grumpy?

[tigi]

He drinks a LOT of milk. How did you know it was the milk HoochieMommaFeelGood, was he grumpy?

[dramaqueen]

A bit of what you have said rings a bell with me about my ds, who is now 7. For a couple of years he was rude, slightly aggressive, whinging etc. We made a positive change in the way we dealt with him. We picked our battles, and only argued the most important points e.g. if he wants stale water in his bottle then go with it. We ignored alot of his behaviour, and gave him huge amounts of praise when he was helpful. I also realised that I didn't tell him how much I loved him very often (probably because his behaviour was so bad), so I told him all the time how much we loved him. I don't think he beleived me for a while, but he certainly does now.

I think he'll always have a tendancy to moan, but we try to keep him positive and he is a pleasant boy for much of the time now. The other thing we did was try to spend some time with him on a 1-2-1 basis, even if it's only an hour. His behaviour made us not want to spend time with him, but you have to put that to one side and just start. Also talk to him about stuff he likes. He may open up and tell you about what frustrates him.

Sorry about the long post. I don't know if any of it is any use .

[retiredgoth]

Sounds very familiar.

My 9 year old is as you describe. Has always been thus. He is on his second school in 6 months and is in the process of being statemented. Read en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorderthis and see if any bells ring.

If they do, seek aid sooner than I did!

[Pannacotta]

Re the blood sugar, it may just be that he is sensitive to having low blood sugar and that it has an adverse effect on his mood rather than having a serious problem, so it may not show up on a blood test.
The main thing is to make sure he eats very regularly, never skips a meal, esp breakfast and that he eats plenty of complex carbs such as wholemeal grains etc (eg wholemeal pasta/bread rather than white) and avoids sugary foods/drinks.
You could try this and see if it makes a difference.
Also worth trying dramqueen's suggestions too...

[retiredgoth]

Sorry. Will the link again

[tigi]

Thank you, of course it is of use! i know exactly where you are coming from. Yesterday we went out for the day to a theme park, and he cried (i kid you not) for over an hour because he wanted to win a sponge bob cushion in a ball throwing competition thingy that i refused to pay for because i know it was impossible! I had to walk ahead of him (dh was with him!) because he really was doing my head in, it was incessant. So it's easy to ignore him at times like that! But then at other times if he is in a good mood (not often) he will kiss me over and over again. i always cuddle him up in bed, and hug him when i leave him at school.
I appreciate all of your comments.
Just looking up milk and blood sugar now!

[retiredgoth]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorderffs

[dramaqueen]

My ds definitely has worse moods when his blood sugars are low. Constant snacks are a must. He also drinks loads of milk. He pretty much lived on milk for the first 3 years of his life.

[Pannacotta]

Bit of info here which suggests that low blood sugar may be linked to food allergy, if this is his problem.

[Pannacotta]

www.wddty.com/03363800372548104217/hypoglycemia.html even

[tigi]

Thanks, am just reading them now.

[tigi]

Well, today i thought you would like to know that i took Pannacotta's advice and gave him his breakfast immediatly as soon he woke up!

This really did make a difference - well it did today anyway, we'll see about tomorrow!
He didn't wake until 8.10, I really couldn't get him out of bed, so I knew I would have trouble if I had to hound him to get moving to get out of the door to school! But actually he was really quite (strangely) cheerful, even as we rushed to school late! he even went into school quite happily!

So, today was either an unusual rarely seen cheerful day, or it could be to do with his blood sugar!

He didn't even moan when i fetched him - usually he barks something like ' What did you give me crusty bread for i can't chew it/ or I hate hula hoops!' as soon as he comes out of the school door!

i am going to try this experiment again tomorrow, and we will see!

Also, that's really interesting Hoochie, but more so for my middle child who is 8! He has settled down now, very recently, but has always had manic loud spells/tearful days for days at a time, and I've never been able to put my finger on what triggers him! As a consequence I believed he was just extra sensitive to E numbers, and so cook everything myself to keep them away!

Anyway today i thought you would like to know that i took

[Pannacotta]

Good to hear tigi.
Btw on a similar note I always take a drink and snack when I collect DS1 (nearly 4) from nursery/playgroup. Started doing this to try and avoid the tantrums we would usually have after both and it usually works for us.
Can you make sure that he has regular healthy snacks at school? I meant to say yesterday that trying to give some protein at every meal is another great way of stabilising blood sugar (we ofen have boiled eggs for breakfast), perhaps worth a try?
Good luck...

[tigi]

Thanks pannacotta, I appreciate that advice, and everyone elses too, it has certainly given me some food for thought. i am also going to try and cut back his milk too and see if that makes a difference!

I will report tomorrow and see if we have another good morning!

[Pannacotta]

Hope things carry on going well.
Oasts are also good for slow release of energy, does he like porridge in the morning?
And goats milk is often good for those who are sensitive to cows milk, is far more digestible.
Have found that the Food Doctor, Ian Marber, is a good and useful source of nutritional advice as well as John Briffa (he has written a book about good eating for kids).
www.thefooddoctor.com/viewindex.asp?article_id=about_ian&gclid=CJ_nzo6U4ZUCFQuH1QodRkN0ZA
and
www.drbriffa.com/blog/

[tigi]

well it all went horribly wrong again today! Got weetabix down him fairly soon after he got out of bed, and he was ok-ish, not bad not good. We were waiting for his little friend to come at 8.10 for me to take her to school, and he kept asking where she was. She came and then he ignored her!

Then he had a paddy about walking to school instead of the car. Shouted at me, and then all the way to school 'i don't want to walk', hitting me.

His friend ignored him then, and as i pointed out who wants to be friends with a grumpy boy when there are lots of cheerful ones to choose. She walked behind with his brother.

At school he had a right good shout at me because i had done macaroni in a flask for dinner. he didn't want it - it's his favorite and he asked me for it yesterday! 'well i'm not having it he shouted at me at school', mixed in with a lot of 'don't cares'.

So I have come home and I was looking forward to having a day to myself to tidy up - the first i've had since they went back to school, and I feel really miserable and tearful now. It has spoilt my day.