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Tantrums and Screaming - ignore/disract or discipline?

(5 Posts)
LadyOfWaffle Sat 13-Sep-08 21:42:55

DS has really taken to screaming - alot and I just don't know what to do. He will ask for a drink and if I don't get it right away (or even if I do!) he will scream and scream, change his mind about the drink about 10 times and throw it in the sink. He isn't even thirsty 1/2 the time - he either tips it into the sink, onto the floor/toys etc. or drink it and spit it into lorries etc. That's just one example. I take the drink off him and he screams - should I be distracting him, just walking away and ignoring the "driiiiiiiiiink! driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!" or be doing naughty step/mat/telling off somehow. Sometimes he just randomly screams aswell. What do I do?

TinkerBellesMum Sat 13-Sep-08 21:47:02

I walk off when we have a tantrum. You can guarantee now that when I'm out of sight the tantrum stops, she comes looking for me and has forgotten it. If you teach them you'll respond they'll carry on.

Ohforfoxsake Sat 13-Sep-08 22:17:45

ignore, ignore, ignore.

and perhaps only let him have his drink at the table until this phase passes

which it will smile

LadyOfWaffle Sat 13-Sep-08 23:14:39


onwardandupward Sun 14-Sep-08 12:24:22

MAybe make sure that as soon as child asks for something like a drink, you say "yes of course, let's go to the kitchen and get it blah blah blah" so that even if you are finishing picking up laundry or whatever you are doing, child knows you've heard, they know you're engaged, they know you aren't saying "wait" or "no", but it's on its way.

I don't think tantrums are just random. They are expressing some deep frustration, so the more you can meet whatever need it is (and that doesn't mean giving a child the moon on a stick, but it might mean more attention than they were getting), the more you can head tantrums off at the pass. So maybe with drinks, you bring the drink and stay with while they are drinking, and talk with them about the drink they are having etc etc. And maybe if what they want is to throw water in the sink, then you fill the sink with warm soapy water and let them have at it (especially good if you have a tiled/lino kitchen floor. The bits which go over the edge, you and child can then play at mopping up with a cloth, and then when Dh comes home you can talk in a martyred way about how you even cleaned the kitchen floor today, while omitting to mention that actually is was a really fun and soggy game which washed the child, washed the floor AND kept everyone occupied happily for 45 minutes...)

I'd be looking for win-wins as much as possible

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