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dd getting too used to being told off?!!?

(3 Posts)
mememum Wed 23-Feb-05 20:54:03

Need some advice and have looked for similar problem but I can't see it. Have a dd of 20m who spends one day a week with Grandma who is also a child minder. She has developed a habit of biting, pinching and hitting when frustrated with me and dh. My strategy was hold her, look her in the eyes and tell her no hitting etc in a firm tone. DH does the same. She usually does whatever 3 times in a row so after 3rd time of telling her off we put her in naughty place. She responded well at first and I thought we had break through... Now she laughs whilst being reprimanded and takes herself off to naughty place adding a few fake tears in for effect! Taking its toll now though, she is meant to be going to nursery soon and I'm over due with 2nd baby. Is this just a reaction to baby on the way or am I doing something wrong? Sorry to be so long winded but I wanted to explain without leaving anything out. Any help gratefully received.

hovely Wed 23-Feb-05 21:45:49

Hi mememum
My DD used to do the same thing when she was about that age (or a bit older). I was concerned about it, and felt I had no options for discipline as I am not prepared to smack her. However, now she is 3.3 and is extremely upset by being reprimanded, it's like she has acquired a conscience and also a sense of herself as a 'good' girl which is shaken by being told off. It's hard to say how we got from there to here. In between the two stages, DS arrived, and I'm sorry to admit that soon afterwards DD got shouted at a lot for the first time ever. I don't think this is what made the change in her, though. She's not in any way cowed or afraid, and my shouting has substantially reduced (I can't claim it has stopped..). It seems more like a consequence of growing older. She has always been praised lots as well, and I think that her sense of self worth is very high, so that as I say she is a bit shaken when she is told off because she enjoys and seeks approval. I actually hardly have to do more than tell her off now, and if she carries on then I put her on the equivalent of a 'naughty stair' and it is extremely effective. I am also able to explain to her what is making me annoyed or upset and she is much more able to understand. maybe your DD will go the same way.

mememum Thu 24-Feb-05 19:02:45

Hi Hovely,
I'm pleased to hear its not only me Thought I was going mad as I have no one really to ask advice. All mums at Toddler clinic have perfect children or so they claim!! And none of my friends have children and haven't a clue as to what I should do, bribe her was one suggestion! I have to admit to having shouted today, my hormones are all shot to bits although that is no excuse just because baby is late! She wasn't scared but I scared myself! DD just went and got me her juice - a calm down mummy moment I think!
Thanks again for the reassurement hovely! Anyone Else?

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