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Would you say 'good girl' to a 9yo who stopped because a car was coming off a drive..

(52 Posts)
dollybird Mon 08-Sep-08 22:52:19

.. or would you expect her to stop and therefore not say anything? DH saw our neighbours childminder say this to her DD and thought she was too old for that.

misdee Mon 08-Sep-08 22:53:43

of course.

Reginaphilangy Mon 08-Sep-08 22:54:12

I probably would say 'good girl' - its an automatic response blush

elesbells Mon 08-Sep-08 22:54:19

yes I would - praise is good at any age is it not?

Heathcliffscathy Mon 08-Sep-08 22:54:45

what a totally weird question.

ParCark Mon 08-Sep-08 22:55:33

Message withdrawn

dollybird Mon 08-Sep-08 22:56:05

ok, slopes off..

SlartyBartFast Mon 08-Sep-08 22:56:24

yup, automatic. whyever not?

cornsilk Mon 08-Sep-08 22:56:41

I would. Is your dh a judgey judgey pants?

GrimmaTheNome Mon 08-Sep-08 22:57:42

Definitely would. 9 year olds can be overconfident and get careless about cars.

piratecat Mon 08-Sep-08 22:58:20

i would, jsut a kid still.
why have you posted, do yuthink your dh was being too judgemental??

marmadukescarlet Mon 08-Sep-08 23:00:43

Don't you praise your children when they behave? I think not praising good behaviour is more odd I'm afraid.

I expect my children to clear their plates from the table, but I still thank them when they do so.

Children need positive contact (praise) to validate their effort to behave well.

undercovercat Mon 08-Sep-08 23:01:36

yes i would and i do.

dollybird Mon 08-Sep-08 23:02:05

maybe we both are a bit. our kids would just do it and they're younger so thought it would be second nature by 9. maybe naive?

marmadukescarlet Mon 08-Sep-08 23:03:12

Who's naive, you or your neighbour?

undercovercat Mon 08-Sep-08 23:03:47

your are just positively reinforcing something you expect them to do, hoping they do it again.
I do it with plates, picking washing up, putting shoes away, shutting car doors helping me with the shopping..

harpomarx Mon 08-Sep-08 23:04:32

well, obviously your kids are verrry mature and good road crossers!

SmugColditz Mon 08-Sep-08 23:04:35

It was my mother thinking I was too old to be praised that led to my shocking self esteem problems as a young teenager. I thought she had stopped loving me.

harpomarx Mon 08-Sep-08 23:05:04

was that the right response wink?

frankbestfriend Mon 08-Sep-08 23:05:22

I would think the reason she stopped automatically in the first place was because of the good teaching and positive re enforcement on the part of her carers.

Praise is good for children regardless of their age.Agree with sophable, the question is a complete no brainer.

dollybird Mon 08-Sep-08 23:07:09

us naive. anyway, i do praise them for all sorts of stuff all the time. wish I hadn't said anything.

dollybird Mon 08-Sep-08 23:07:45

thanks harpomarx

cornsilk Mon 08-Sep-08 23:08:11

Dollybird don't be upset!

Overmydeadbody Mon 08-Sep-08 23:09:05

I wouldn't make an active decision not to praise, but I certainly don't praise DS everytime he uses good road sense, I expect him to behave appropriately when crossing roads and riding his bike in the street.

He is 5 now. When he was first learning I would praise obviously, but I'd hope it is just second nature to him now.

Overmydeadbody Mon 08-Sep-08 23:09:34

I think it is actually quite interesting dollybird!smile

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