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2 yo won't go near her dad :(

(10 Posts)
pinkfluffyworld Thu 04-Sep-08 14:39:50

Hi my youngest daughter, who is nearly 2.5 won't spontaneously go to her dad - for help, cuddles, food, anything!
He does work pretty much 7 days a week, and we don't see a lot of him - don't do days out, haven't had a fmily holiday this year etc etc however her beahviour is clearly upsetting DH.

Any advice? I can't force her to be picked up for a cuddle - she just screams and kicks him! Is it a bonding issue/separation or just a wilful toddler?? (she has quite a strong character - my 4 yo is much more placid)


Ree24 Thu 04-Sep-08 14:44:35

Yes maybe daddy needs to spend some time with little one and they can have a bit of bonding time. I would strongly suggest making time for days out etc, even if it just to the park, to feed the ducks long as it is together xx

anniemac Thu 04-Sep-08 15:10:50

Message withdrawn

pinkfluffyworld Thu 04-Sep-08 15:19:21

I know, the answers are so simple, but somehow I managed to marry a workaholic - assuming (wrongly!) that he would chill out a bit when we had a family to look after.
Sadly, he seems to find it easier to be at work, where his people will do as they're asked - you can't expect a 2 and 4 year old to be completely biddable but he has no patience!
I worry that I'm being too soft about it, and that if we're not careful there could be a really bad rift here unless DD2 changes personality! She will actually say "no like daddy, like mummy" and if he asks her for a cuddle says no all the time.
If DD1 is larking about with him she will join in, but only so she's not left out.
She can also be a bit funny with other people, especially men (inc grandad) but seems to save most of it for her dad... if only I had a crystal ball!

Dropdeadfred Thu 04-Sep-08 15:21:55

Why doesn't he want more time as a family? Does his work realy neccessitate all the time away 7 days a week..
you reap what you sow

kiltycoldbum Thu 04-Sep-08 15:31:44

my dd when she was 2.5 wouldnt go near dad for anything, she'd leg it, scream at him to go away, everything, she would only be with me at all times, i had DS in January (when she was 2.5) and had to be in hospital for 2 nights, shed never been away from me or looked after by dad, but he had to look after it and we were all dreading it. She screamed the hospital down when she was taken home, yet when they came to take me home she was sat in the car holding hands with him, raving over the things theyd done!

6 months on (now) she jumps on him, kisses him, tells him she loves him, mithers the hell out of him and will cry for daddy if she isnt getting her own way with me, or if she doesnt want him to go out, honest to god a complete 180! I think it will come in time so wouldnt worry about it too much, saying that my dd can still be completely wicked towards her dad and tell him she doesnt love him that she loves mummy but its clear she knows that shes being wicked and thinks its funny!! smile

Sunflower100 Thu 04-Sep-08 15:49:43

My dd did this for a brief period when dh was studying for an exam and wasn't around much. Immediately after the exam the two of them did stuff together without me as well as family days out. i found that me not being there had the added bonus of really boosting dh's confidence and understanding of dd and the importance of his role in her life and now dd adores him -and will sometimes choose him over me particularly if he has taken her out without me.
I really think your dh needs to be around more to be honest- you really do get out what you put in with kids.

pinkfluffyworld Thu 04-Sep-08 15:52:24

DDF - we argue about this more than anything else, however I can't make him want to come home, and he honestly doesn't see that it matters so much (lots of muttering about his dad being the same)so I end up feeling like an utter nag.

Kilty, thanks for your points, my DD1 was only 2 when DD2 arrived, and I was in for 5 days (another C-section) but because she's so laid back,she didn't seem to suffer my absence and I don't think we really knew what a determined 2yo could actually be like!

Dropdeadfred Thu 04-Sep-08 15:53:44

but doesn't he miss you? and the dcs?

LittleMyDancing Thu 04-Sep-08 15:54:25

DS is 2.4 and when DP goes away on business for more than a night, he really 'punishes' him by not wanting him around, telling him to go away, crying etc.

the only solution is for DP to spend some quality time with him, playing, bathing, etc, without Mummy. it takes him a little while to forgive him, as it were, and then daddy is flavour of the month again.

don't forget that little girls' daddies are very very important to them.

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